I’m one of those annoying people who is always cold. I treasure sweaters, collect wool socks and hog blankets without shame. But this week my world has changed. I’ve spent this last few days laying on floor- marveling at the genius of fans, ice cubes and cold showers. I’ve been too hot to sleep, to write, to read, to spend time outside on patios. Let’s re-read that last one, I’VE BEEN TO HOT TO SPEND TIME ON PATIOS. Clearly, you see I’ve been dealing with a heat issue.
And now tonight, I’m dealing with a dress issue. The no-date dilemma wedding I’m attending has fast approached. Tomorrow, I shall attempt to make 150 people laugh without referencing obscure Office quotes or speaking in salty language unsuitable for children. Tomorrow, I must find a way to weave PG humor into a wedding program with 6 speeches, 2 games and 1 activity that involves humming ‘happy birthday’ and do it all under 45 minutes. Oh, and I must do this while looking impossibly lovely and breathtaking.
Which, brings me back to the dress issue. Here are my four options:
Dress #1: Black and White. Just like Michael Jackson.
Dress #3: Navy and white. It’s a bit too big, but IT HAS POCKETS! POCKETS! Whoever thought of putting pockets in dresses, I just want to kiss them. Possibly with the tongue.
I may or may not have 4 other dresses that I may or may not have bought just for this wedding- but I’m not loving any of them (and the idea of taking pictures of them and uploading them and then writing about them just makes me sweat- not with nerves, but because of the HEAT. THE HEAT!). So there are my options. Be kind dear readers and tell me- which one will make me the best MC ever?
I take comfort in knowing that tomorrow night, as the sun goes down and my MC duties are behind me-I will not be caring about my dress as I twirl around dancing with friends, eating too much wedding cake (gluten be damned), and marveling at the idea that I NOW KNOW PEOPLE WHO OWN ALL MATCHING PLATES.
Perhaps the dress with the pockets might make it easier for me to sneak some cake home?
* Also, I’m glad everyone loved the Whoorl curling hair technique. Isn’t that genius? It was asked, so I will answer- I use the same glossing cream (and even bought the small one like Whoorl suggested- I swear, if she handed me sandpaper and told me to chew hard, I would do it), but I skip the shine stuff. My hair doesn’t like it. Meaning, that it’s impossible for me to use without looking like I dunked my hair in a deep fryer.