I was going to let this slide, but I think you all are the perfect people to discuss this with.
Last week my birthday dinner was horrible. I went out for my party on Saturday, but on the Friday- my mom, brother and I went out for dinner. Here is what happened:
- Our server rolled her eyes when we asked for menus. Because clearly, I should have the mind powers that let me visualize everything on the menu. Oh, and given her impatience with the few minutes it took us to think about what we want, I apparently should also know what I want to order before entering the restaurant.
- I explained I had a wheat allergy and asked if I could get my salad without croutons. She said “of course”, as though I had asked if the place served food at all. My salad came with croutons.
- After we were done our salads, I thought I would avoid her turning into the Hulk if I stacked our salad plates/forks so it would be easier for her to take when she came back. She came back and said ‘Well, you are going to need to keep your forks”. At this point we had no idea who’s fork was who’s and none of us were wanting to take a chance and guess (my brother is really sick right now and besides not wanting his obvious boy germs, I did not want his sick germs). She rolls her eyes again when we ask if we can just get new forks.
- She brings the forks and THROWS them at the table. I’m not kidding. I had to use football catching skills to grab my fork before it fell off the table.
- We never get our drinks.
- We never get our appetizers.
- When our meal does arrive, mine is fine. My mom’s is cold and my brother’s manages to be both burnt AND cold. I have never seen my brother refuse to eat a meal (he’s like a human garborater) but he really can’t choke this down so he tells our waitress. She gives him a look that could kill Voldemort himself. And takes his plate away without asking him if he wants anything else. Of course, she needs to roll her eyes. Again.
- We still have no drinks.
- We get the bill and there are the appetizers on the bill that we didn’t get. I tell her we didn’t get them and she rolls her eyes and acts like she doesn’t believe me. As though my family is willing to pay $100 on dinner but only if we sneak bruschetta and spinach dip in our purse. My mom is mortified and thinks we should just pay it so we can leave. I refuse. It gets taken off the bill.
Our bill comes to $82.00 and my mom leaves a $100 on the table and is trying to usher us out before we can do something else that will offend our (clearly insane) waitress. I balk and say I want to speak to her manager (my birthday has put me into a mood of importance and I feel like I need to stand up to this bully). I DO talk to the manager who sticks up for the server telling me that ‘she’s been busy’. I explain that I understand this (as I look around at the half empty restaurant) but that I’ve never had worse service and that my family was so uncomfortable that we couldn’t wait to leave. She stares at me. I pay the bill and leave without putting down a tip.
That’s right. I didn’t leave a tip. (Or, technically.. my mom didn’t leave a tip since it was her money). I ALWAYS leave a tip (especially if I’m paying with other people’s money). I’ve had too many friends work as servers that leaving a tip just was never an idea that crossed my mind. But I was mad. I was mad that she was rude to my family, that she could not come to our table without AGGRESSIVE eye rolling and that she ruined my birthday dinner. So I left no tip.
Today I told my mom that I didn’t leave a tip with her money (she never counted back what I gave her to see if I did or not) and she thinks that is wrong. She thinks that all service requires a tip, even if it’s just 10% because they get paid so little hourly. Most of the times I agree, but not this time. I tell you readers, it would have hurt my soul to leave a dime for this woman.
So what would you have done? Tip or no tip? Or would you have been so busy thinking about slashing this servers tires that you wouldn’t have time to think of any tip business at all?
Are you kidding me right now? Wow. What a raging bitch. And OK, I get that people have awful, awful days. But to do that is just ridiculous. And that manager should not have just stared at like an f-ing idiot. They should have bent over backwards apologizing and offering you a free meal. Unbelievable. I am with you- I always tip- but if that happened to me you better believe I wouldn’t.
If I had tipped her I would have left her a dollar in dimes or something else that is relatively demeaning.
Sorry your birthday dinner was full of hardships. I hope the rest of the weekend was way better.
I probably would have left like $5, maybe.
Good call on not leaving a tip……… especially since she probably spit in your food.
I think things are a little different in Canada… I mean – tips are expected and I am sure if you talked to a server they would say 10-15%, but it is unlike some restaurants I have been to in the States where the tip has been added… like it is the servers right… I think not!
I undertand servers are not the best paid workers – but they are paid – and tips should be like the company bonus for doing a good job – not something that is expected!
Some things I have done – a) leave no tip and b) round to the nearest dollar – which sometimes is like a 13 cent tip – which is probably (definitly) worse than no tip at all.
It kills me to not tip. Something really fucked up has to go one for me not to tip at least 10%.
BUT
If after you talked to her manager you didn’t get an apology (AT LEAST) then I think you did the right thing. These people clearly didn’t give a shit about you so why should you give a shit about them? Let the manager tip her!
I use to wait tables, and it is seriously one of the hardest jobs I’ve had in terms of just having no down time and just the sheer energy you have to have in running around, being nice, etc. So, like you mentioned, I ALWAYS leave a tip, because you know,maybe they had a really bad day. Maybe their dog died or their boyfriend broke up with them or their boss yelled at them. But in THESE situations where the waitress is just down right rude…no way!! I wouldn’t have left a dime either. Maybe that will jolt her eyes back in place!! I mean, I once had this waitress come to our table and you could tell something was wrong. She informed us that she was having a really bad day, and to bear with her. We did and it wasn’t that bad…at least she was trying!! Good for you!
ABSOLUTELY no tip. And I have worked a lot of customer service jobs. It’s one thing for the food to be cold or late or even wrong– that might not be her fault. For her to be rude like that? Ridiculous. She probably knew she wasn’t getting a tip after the first eye roll and just gave up. What a creep.
@lindenfan – I don’t know how it works in Canada, but in the U.S. servers are only paid like $2.13 an hour (the minimum wage is over $7 in my state). So tips aren’t a bonus, it’s their actual salary. It’s bullshit, but that’s how it works here, unfortunately! That said, if a server is repeatedly and undeniably rude and doesn’t apologize… no tip, yo.
I was a waitress for a long time. You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. Yes, servers in the US depend on tips, but that is exactly why they need to provide good quality service in order to earn it. You don’t DESERVE a tip, you EARN one. I am happy you left nothing, there is zero excuse for her behavior.
This sounds like ALL my dining experiences. I have the worst luck with that. Honestly what bothers me the most is when the managers defend the servers. Hello? Isn’t the customer always right? I think because of that no tip was acceptable.
i was a server for MANY years of my life and i completely agree with what you did. trust me, i had a table or two that left me no tip, and i totally deserved it each time. it’s hard in an industry like that because you’re not supposed to have bad days, but sometimes you do. it’s a bad excuse but on those days you’re kinda willing to have your income suffer just to be a bitch. but she knows what she did.
of course, now that i’m older i’d like to think that should i ever find myself in the serving world again i wouldn’t let anyone know i was having a bad day. that’s one of the issues with people in these roles, they’re often young and don’t quite realize that the impression they’re leaving isn’t just of them, but the company they work for also.
i’m sorry your birthday was so lousy. that sucks. but i would have done exactly what you did and i’ve been on the other side.
Hmmm… in Canada they are paid minimum wage – which depending on the province can be up to $8.00 an hour… so I guess I will never be moving south to be a server! Still… rudeness can’t be tollerated – one day without tips should (hopefully) teach the person a lesson that they won’t be paying rent that month if they continue to be rude!
I was a server for a while and that bitch did NOT deserve an effin tip
You can tell if it’s busy, if it’s the cook’s fault, or if it’s just bad.service.
If she was havin a day in the weeds, she should’ve taken a moment to collect herself or freakin’ ask someone else to serve your table
ugh, shit like that bugs the piss out of me. I ALWAYS give a tip, except for crap like that.
I wait tables part time and I completely agree with you. yes servers get paid very little but we also make RI-diculous money at times. And yes mistakes happen but that’s why you take them off the check! Finally, people get busy and people have bad days, but I’ve found it takes longer to be a bitch and common courtesy does not require you to be fake “susie sunshine”esque. Just polite.
Frankly if she doesn’t like being a serverr she should get out of it.
No tip. If she doesn’t even offer the bare minimum service, she does not get extra money from me. No how. No way.
I wouldn’t have left a tip either. She didn’t deserve one. She didn’t seem to enjoy her job or care about good service. I would have spoken with the manager and left mad too!
Definitely no tip… there’s no excuse for her or her manager’s behavior. My husband used to be a waiter so we usually tip very generously, even if the service wasn’t stellar, but if I was in that situation it wouldn’t matter.
That would have gotten no tip from me either and I would have fought with the manager more insisting that he/she/it comp more off the bill for the horrible experience. A busy server who is still polite and clearly trying but in over her head deserves a tip – reduced maybe. A nasty attitude like the one you describe would get NOTHING. I was a waitress for many years and I tip 20% as a start almost always but I would have maybe left her a penny? Just so she knows it was intentional.
I definitely wouldn’t have left the tip either! If she can’t stand to do her job even somewhat well, she doesn’t deserve extra money. That would drive me crazy! I would have a hard time just avoiding snapping at her everytime she rolled her eyes. Ridiculous. Hope the rest of your birthday went without events like that!
I used to be one who would tip even if I watched them spit in my food.
Now I have no qualms about not tipping, and explaning to them why I didn’t if they ask.
As far as it goes, I OVERTIP for excellent service, pity tip for small restaurants, and withhold tip when I could’ve gotten better service from a blind chihuaha.
Nah, I probably would have left her a couple of bucks. I can’t believe the manager stuck up for her!!! There is never a need for excessive eye rolling, I worked in a restaurant for five years and now I work in a bar and I know how tough it can be, but being rude is just not necessary! She just missed out on an almost $20 tip! What an idiot!
I totally laughed out loud at the Voldemort comment! Hilarious! I totally saw a picture of this guy on myspace the other day and he resembled Voldemort so much I literally had goosebumps!! Ewwww!!!
I had something very similar happen when out to dinner with my family a few years ago. We got things thrown at us (napkins and she set down a pitcher of water so hard that it sloshed all over the table, so I considered that the same as throwing), things forgotten (that had been asked for multiple times), eye rolls and just nasty attitude in general. She didn’t get a tip. And I spoke with the manager and explained to him why she wasn’t getting a tip. He, at least, had the decency to apologize for her poor behaviour.
So, as you can see, I fully support your decision not to tip. It’s one thing when servers are just having a bad day and being jittery and forget things because they are nervous – they still get a tip. But when a nasty attitude plays in with all the forgotten things as well, then I have no sympathy. If they don’t like their jobs as a server, they need to find something else to do. I know it’s a hard and sometimes thankless job, but that doesn’t give them the right to treat their patrons like shit.
OMFG! NO TIP! I am just like you and have many friends and family members who were servers so no tip is usually out of the question (actually less than 18% is usually out of the question) but why should you get paid for a job you haven’t even done, let alone done well?
And the manager not listening to you is inexcusable but it seems to be happening more and more these days. Le sigh.
Good for you, and I say this having worked in the service industry. It is your JOB in the service industry to give good service and what you earn in pay needs to be earned.
I’m like you in that I ALWAYS leave a tip. That’s what I took out of working in service – some people are completely clueless or just arseholes. (Sometimes clueless arseholes.) I’ve never not given a tip, only because no tip for the waitress means less money for the busers (bussers?) and those who rely on a percentage of her earnings for helping her out.
That being written, Boyfriend and had absolutely terrible service once at P.F. Chang’s. I know I’m reactive, but I use him as a barometer – if he’s in agreement, I know it’s bad. I left a cash tip for her, but I wrote on the bill something to the effect that she had given us the worst service we have ever had and that we have never encountered someone so rude and disinterested in serving us. I went on to say that I left her a tip with the hope that she gives it to the staff who did her job for her; that we were not tipping *her*, we were tipping everyone else.
Maybe an arsehole move, but it gets the point across, the manager (and so on up the line) sees it and so forth. If anyone saw it on the floor, she couldn’t pocket the money without feeling like a jerk.
I got to leave feeling vindicated but also that I did the right thing in leaving something for everyone else. I will totally do it again if the situation calls for it.
No tip. Absolutely not. Why had she done to earn it?
My BFF/server explained to me that TIP means:
To
Insure
Prompt Service
Did you get that? Nope.
Therefore: no tip.
I don’t know about you but I don’t reward people for treating me like shit.
Not only would I not have tipped, I would have insisted that they not charge us for the whole meal. That’s RIDICULOUS.
Hmm, tough one. If I were in your shoes and that disappointed with the level of service. I too, likely would have refused to leave a tip. I may have been fairly cordial and left five bucks, but no more than that.
You have to send a message you weren’t happy with their service. You tried to communicate this to the manager. He didn’t listen. As a former restaurant manager, you never make excuses such as “she’s busy”. That’s not how you build a client business. You have to make them feel important. Being busy is no excuse because “busy” if relative.
I think you can feel fine about not leaving a tip. I think it would behoove you to share the name of the establishment so others will not frequent the place. I hope the rest of the weekend went better.
….because busy IS relative…
I’m glad so many are in agreement here. I just read the comments and not a one person feels the other way. I like this.
Yeah, so first off, I would have pitched a fit the size of Texas and expected some sort of compensation for the meal. There is just no excuse for that behavior. Second of all, I would have left a tip.. a verbal tip: Next time try to put aside whatever the hell has crawled up your butt and died, in order to provide better service. Best Wishes, Table # .
Kinda reminds me of an old episode of “Third Rock from the Sun”, where the main character puts the tip on the table before the meal and tells the server that if she does well, he’ll add to it but if she does poorly he’ll take away from it. I wonder if that would ever work
there’s NO WAY I would have left her a tip. first of all, even if she’s busy or having a bad day she has no right to roll her eyes. It’s one thing if someone just keeps forgetting or is slow getting your stuff out, but that is downright rude.
If I were you I’d write the company a letter too including your incident with the manager to let them know how it went down. Total BS!
That doesn’t sound like a person having a bad day…..more like a person with personality issues. She needs to find a vocation better suited to her…like maybe corrections (altho i don’t think even inmates deserve that kind of treatment)….and the manager…useless. Waitress deserves no tip, restaurant deserves a complaint in writing and all the bad publicity it can handle.
I think you did the right thing in asking to speak to the manager. If the manager had apologized and offered to make the situation better in any way, or if the server had apologized for being “busy” it would have been a different story. The manager sets the pace for the servers and if the manager doesn’t care about crappy servers, you’ll get crappy service. I think in your case, you shouldn’t have left a tip. Writing a letter to the owner could also be appropriate.
No tip. Write a letter to the manager or the company. Post negative reviews on any web-site you can find. (I did this after I got asked to leave a restaurant because my friends and I all look young.) Definitely no tip though. You did the right thing.
Hope the rest of your birthday is better.
Ooof. Awful. I would not tip.
Fiance probably would, just out of etiquette.
Wow, some people seriously should not be in the service industry. I say you are totally fine with leaving no tip, especially since she was so retched & plus it was your birthday!
DUDE. Delurking to share my opinion! :) I would have really considered not leaving a tip. I’m with you, I have several friends who waitressed to pay the bills in college — one that got pretty stinkin’ rich because she was SUCH a great waitress and her customers LOVED HER (when she quit her last waitressing job she made about $600 in tips in ONE DAY because they were going to miss her so much), so I know how important it is to tip your waitress. Most people start out at 10-15% — I usually start 18-20 and it goes up if they’re amazing. My dad is notorious for ordering something and thinking he’s ordering something else, so when what he actually ordered gets there, gee! It’s “wrong!” Even though it really IS what he ordered. Any waitress that puts up with his ass always gets a big tip. :) Anyway, I still would have left something, but here’s why: I’ve also had friends who tended bar and bussed tables, and in most restaurants around here the waitresses are expected to “tip out” to them. So if she gives bad service, they get screwed too, which is totally unfair. I might have left a note, explaining that I know I have no control over how she disburses her tip, but that the money I left really wasn’t intended for her. I’ve been known to leave a note for amazing service, so I’d probably leave one for crap service too.
@laurie — actually, not true in every state. in Montana, servers are paid minimum wage, so a tip IS a bonus. I know when one of my friends was going to school in North Dakota, she got paid peanuts, so her tips made up the rest of it, but in some states, servers DO get paid.
No no no no tip. There is no excuse for that sort of attitude. And she knows whether she delivered appetizers or not, more than likely. I am in agreement with the people who said write to the owners and complain as well. If this was a franchise restaurant (like Applebees or Chilis) I would immediately contact the corporate office because that sort of bad service reflects on the whole chain, and the corporate office WILL do something. We ended up with a whole new manager and wait staff at the Applebees in this town because things had gotten so bad; when corporate came down to see what was going on they canned the whole group.
HOpe the rest of your birthday is better.
I’m with the no tipper(s) … clearly if you do not like to serve people then get a job someplace else (under a rock, where you do not need to deal with people, because apparently your server was NOT a people person). There is no excuse (even if you have a bad day) to treat people with disrespect, especially since you are already paying (indirectly) her (and her manager) wages by paying for the meal in the first place.
I use to be a waitress and I still believe that tipping is to be rewarded for a job well done, not because YOU HAVE TO. (My boyfriend is rolling his eye right now) There has been many times where we have fought in the restaurant because he needs to leave a tip and I don’t.
I fully support your no tip decision, although I don’t know that I wouldn’t have had the heart to do it.
I’m more appalled that the manager didn’t stand up for the integrity of his establishment and not only comp your food, but give you a certificate to come back again and give it another go.
The lack of drinks (on your birthday no doubt) and appetizers, cold/ burnt and misordered food not only show a lack of service, but also a lack of management. I would be writing a letter to the GM, owner, or corporate and let them know what’s going on there!
End rant. Can you tell I’m at work. That came off far more corporate than I meant it to!
I’m sorry your birthday dinner was a bust! I hope that you found a good bar around the corner to make up for your lack of beverages!
I would have left her, like, fifteen cents, because that’s even MORE insulting. Because some people honest-to-God FORGET to tip, and when they get home they’re like “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO TIP THAT WAITRESS!” But by leaving change, you’re really giving her the finger.
I thought that tips were what the waiters/waitresses deserve. So, because she didn’t deserve diddly squat, that’s what she got. And good for you, because I definitely wouldn’t have left one either. There has only been 2 times this has happened, and those times were extreme. I am a notorious over-tipper, and I agree with you in this situation.
I’m always a big tipper, but I’ve never ever heard of service like that! Personally, I would’ve walked out after she threw the forks at you. You should call and see if that was only a shift manager and speak to the general manager or even the owners.
If her manager didn’t at least give you something for free (even just your meal or the table’s drinks), then I wouldn’t have left her a tip either. She cast a black pall over your birthday dinner.
You’re a much nicer person that I will ever be, I wouldn’t have stayed through that meal much less paid for it.
Absolutely no tip. I hate the fact that we’re now supposed to tip just for them doing their job. I tip if they’ve gone above and beyond, not for being mediocre or in your case, a horror-fest.
My tipping policy is rather similar to one Mr Pink in Resevoir Dogs who can explain it far more elegantly than I can.
I was a waitress, and if things happened that weren’t her fault (like food coming out late or the kitchen getting it wrong), then I would still tip her as long as she acknowledged it. But if a server is plain out rude, then there is no reason for a tip. She needs to earn it, she doesn’t just get one by being your waitress.
my mom is like your mom
I? am not.
if she wants a tip (and i am a 20% tipper) she has to work for it. End. Of. Story.
once, with foul service, i left a tip, in change, in an upside down glass, full of left over soda.
I’ve never been a waitress because I know I’d be the eye-rolling one! I have no patience. But I totally appreciate how hard that job can be, so I’m usually a good tipper—rarely ever less than 20%.
I will usually let some not great service slide, especially if it’s a busy place and the waiter or waitress is trying to keep up. But if someone is outright rude or obviously could care less about their customers, I’ve gotten to the point that I won’t tip. I used to feel bad about it, but they’re supposed to provide service. If they can’t do that, then too bad.
I would have probably asked to speak to the manager after I never got my drinks or appetizers, instead of waiting till the end of the meal, but you definitely did the right thing by not tipping.
I was a waitress while in high school and I know that its an unglamorous job that requires a lot of energy and patience, and therefore I almost always tip (at least 15%). If I get lackluster service, I’ll drop the tip down to 10-12% to get a point across. If I had the server you had, I probably would have made a stink about paying at all, let alone worrying about leaving a tip, especially since half your food never came and some entrees were cold. Completely unacceptable!
Hope the rest of your birthday weekend was good!
I HATE HATE HATE when the manager sticks up for the shitty server. I’ve gotten, “she’s tired” before. A great excuse, jack ass.
I woulda wanted to do some serious tire slashing, but since I don’t like getting arrested I totally agree with you on the non-tipping.
For real! I probably would have refused to pay let alone leave a tip. What was this restaurant???
no tip.
i used to waitress, at a restaurant, a lounge, and a bar.
no matter how “busy” you are, it never gives you reason to be rude.
yes, she likely had to tip out the kitchen staff and possibly the hostesses on your meal, but for that service, she can do it out of her salary.
for real, i will never understand shitty service.
You did the right thing. I’d probably feel bad about not tipping… but I just can’t justify tipping in that situation. I don’t think I’ve ever tipped less than 20 percent… but in this case… she’s not getting a cent.
i would have WITHOUT A DOUBT done what you did. and i do leave good tips because i too have had a lot of friends that are servers. but that’s ridiculous. i had a waitress hit me on the back or head every time she walked by our table. she never cleaned the table off. and she constantly rolled her eyes. and i did just the same.
Tipping this server is like choosing to give Bush another four years. Shit, we did that in ’04. I mean you shouldn’t reward crappy service especially if that’s their job.
egan- You managed to tie politics into this post. This is a feat and I bow to your genius.
I would definitely NOT have tipped. No way. You were in the right. That sounds like some of the WORST customer service I have ever heard (aside from the lady at Ikea who ripped some curtains out of my friend’s hands this weekend… WTF?!) and you should’ve gotten some sort of discount on your meal, in my opinion. Hell, with poor service like that, you should’ve gotten the whole thing FREE. I’d call the Canadian equivalent of the Better Business Bureau or at least the owner of the place since the manager is obviously a doucheface.
As a former waitress myself, I think long and hard about not leaving a tip. But in this case, no tip. And I definitely would have spoken with the manager and then when the manager didn’t take any percentage off the bill, I would have asked for the GM name and number and I would have called.
I’m sorry your birthday got ruined :(
No tip. Actually as I was reading this and saw your mom left 100 bucks, I was thinking, “No! What’s she doing!?” Your mom is obviously a great person for wanting to over look the fact that your waitress was scarecrow and tin man wrapped into one.
i dont like her.
NO TIP!
i also was a waitress for a long time, and yeah, we get paid crap, but that’s exactly why you have to step up your game and provide snazzy service to GET THE GOOD TIP.
i dont like her.
young grasshopper just texted me, “cant going out tonight”
so much to learn!
I waited tables for a good number of years. In addition, my family had a restaurant for a while. I am in favor of always leaving a tip, even if very small for bad service. The service you describe is absolutely deplorable. It is insulting that you should be treated this way especially on an occasion with a high emotional investment like a birthday. I agree with you, no tip. No matter what happened in her day before she came to work, there is NO EXCUSE for treating people that way. If it was so bad that she couldn’t control her behavior, she should have gotten her shift covered.
NO TIP! DO a good job get a good tip. Be a bitch get stiffed. Simple. Tips are earned. Otherwise the good staff would be just as bad.
Go over the managers head and call the owner. Inexcusable.
20sb on the WP dashboard! Way to go girl!
Im in australia so tipping as a way of topping up a servers wage to a livable one is completely foreign. Tips down under are based entirely on good service, they are a bonus. If a server does great service they get a great tip, crap service = a telling off and not a cent. You did exactly what i would have done (except maybe I would have done just a little loud swearing at the same time). lol
i agree with most of the others – no tip. Servers EARN their tips and she didn’t earn it. You weren’t asking anything excessive or out of her job description and the fact that her AND her manager didn’t apologize? If it was a national chain kind of place? i would write into the higher ups and describe that. I’m sure they’d be horrified that you were treated so rudely.
Sorry you had a crappy birthday dinner :(
Coming from a culture where tipping is an option rather than a requirement, I only ever tip big whent he service is great.
And stuff not leaving a tip, I wouldn’t have paid full stop. The idea that you were a hassle rather than a valued customer who was making the owner money…I would have gone all Ramsey on her!
I completely agree with no tip. And I normally also leave a tip everytime, and usually a quite generous one (between 20 and 25%). But, when you go to a more expensive restaurant (which it seems like the one you guys were at), you aren’t paying for the food that’s so expensive. you’re generally paying for the atmosphere and the ambience and the service. Therefor, should she get a better tip because the bill came out to $82 for you guys instead of $40, like it would at a place like Denny’s? Only if she gave exemplary service. Which she did not. In fact, she didn’t even give passable service. So, I definitely wouldn’t have tipped her. At all.
I have only not tipped once in my life, and it was a situation very similar to yours. If they’re going to defend themselves to the death and not even try to compensate you, there’s no reason to tip.
Now, I’ve had similar experiences wherein the management did everything they could to keep our business and then, I am glad to tip. Most restaurants have tip share now, so I feel like I’m not necessarily tipping just one person anyway but tipping for the “experience.” Which sucked for you, and I wouldn’t have tipped either.
In fact, I would have had a problem with paying at all.
Wow. Most unnecessarily long rambling comment ever.
I wouldn’t have left a tip. You don’t get a tip just for showing up at work. You get a tip for doing your job. You get a great tip for doing a great job. Your bitchtress did neither. It’s no wonder that she was such a bad bitchress when the manager condones the behavior. I wouldn’t go back there again and you should call them out so no one else does either. Then again, apparently they don’t care about repeat business.
As for tipshare — I’ve actually written on the tip sheet why I wasn’t leaving the tip, that way everyone knows whether it was lousy service, bad food etc. It all falls back on the person who did a poor job and not you, someone who just wanted to have a great meal and WOULD HAVE tipped if the service had been at least halfway decent.
I just love that everyone (and maybe even their mother too) has commented on this. Like many have said before, I will say it again.
I currently wait tables. It drives me crazy. I’m about to leave the restaurant industry to return to school. This makes being a waitress even more difficult. I hate being treated like shit. I hate being taken for granted. It wears on me every damn night I do it.
However, I would NEVER leave a tip in a situation like yours. I think that servers need to be given a message about their service. And that was TERRIBLE service. Completely undeserved, no matter what the circumstances are.
You were definitely right. I find that my parents have a different “tipping standard” than I do. I try to “educate” them every chance I get. ;)
I didn’t read all the comments but…
First off….In the USA even servers HAVE to be paid min wage…if they don’t make up the hourly min with tips their employers MUST make up the difference to bring the hourly rate to min wage. It is the law…look it up. We just have always assumed (and of course employers would like us to) that wait staff only get paid $2 an hour. That is false…if you aren’t getting at least min wage, then you need to complain to the Labor Board. If you don’t believe me, call your local Labor office and ask.
Second…I wouldn’t have left a tip either and would not only have let the manager have a piece of my mind as well, but let both of them know that she was NOT getting a tip and WHY.
Third…what restaurant was this…is it a chain? If so, call or write to the corporate office. If not, what one is it so I can make sure to to there and let them know why I have no intention of eating there.
I did the homework for you guys:
http://www.dol.gov/esa/minwage/q-a.htm
If some of you are wait staff…make sure you are being paid min wage on the Federal AND State level as some states have their own laws as well.
I always leave a tip but in this situation, ESPECIALLY after the manager had no concern that his employees weren’t giving the restaurant the best image, i just could never. That is so f*ing rude to the point of ridiculous. I don’t care how bad of a day you have had, NOTHING gives you the right to treat other people with that little respect, whether you are waiting their table or just out in public.
I would have hit her if she had rolled her eyes at me that many times. You have so much more willpower than I ever will. :)
Glad you posted this because I’ve been on both sides of the “you have to tip regardless” scenario.
But I do admit this one bar we frequented (not a busy bar, but more like a bar that everyone sat down and ordered burgers etc. so more like a restaurant) had this AWFUL waitress that one time basically didn’t do anything for us (we had do ask for menus, ask for drink orders to be taken (we gave up and went to the bar-which they don’t like…) asked to order food, watched our food and drinks sit there for 15 minutes before we went and got them ourselves etc. and at the end of the night we left her $3 in quarters, nickles etc (basically we dumped out our change) and even wrote on the back of the reciept what a terrible waitress we thought she was.
Maybe not our finest moment, but we were all PISSED OFF.
So don’t worry you handled it much better than we did.
I always tip unless there’s a major problem and in this case, I would not have tipped. Your waitress didn’t even try to serve you properly and didn’t apologize ever. I don’t care how bad her day was or what had just happened, she still could have said something or maybe not thrown the forks at least. I would have been really mad!
no tip for her.
(i’ll leave 10% for barely there service, and more for good service. but BAD service? please.)
I’m pissed just thinking about it! No tip!!! And I was a waitress all through college. if your only job is to make these people happy to get a tip, then make the people happy. And the boss should have been apologizing to you and giving you your meal for free. P.S. I love your blog and I want to be blog friends…kind of creepy…sorry :)
I can’t believe that bitch. And the manager too! I wouldn’t have left a tip. No way.
No way. While I also usually tip I have become very careful in the last couple of years after having suffered through way too many meals like you mentioned.
If the server does their job, not great, but I get my food and am comfortable, I tip.
If the server goes over and beyond, I tip veeeery well.
If the server acts as if she is doing me a favour, as if I am bothering her, if she is rude, if she doesn’t listen and gives me attitude?
I don’t tip. AND never go back to that particular restaurant.
I would have done the same thing. Rude over and over again, burnt food, wrong food, missing food and no apology? AND they tried to charge you extra anyway? No tip, no way! Plus, I’d be thinking of writing an angry letter. I wouldn’t actually do it, I can never be bothered, but I’d spend some time composing it in my head…
I hope the rest of your birthday was great. How annoying to have that happen at any time, but on your birthday? Grrrr!
You stand firm lady. No Tip!!!! I realize we need to empathize about people having a bad day at work, but hey, work should not suffer! Can you imagine telling your boss in a corporate setup that you screwed up coz you had a bad day? The empathy in your scenario should come from her colleagues not from customers. Also, a tip is not a matter of right.
You did the right thing and you should not lose any sleep over this. Sorry that your birthday dinner was such a fiasco, i sincerely hope the rest of the year is fabulous.
I wouldn’t have left a tip b/c I wouldn’t have paid for that meal at all. All of that was just wrong!
NO tip – no question
I think you did the right thing. 100%. She did not deserve a tip at all. I don’t care if you are having a bad day or if you are super busy, it doesn’t take much to muster up some common courtesy. I don’t care how little servers are paid. If they are rude and don’t do their job correctly they hardly deserve to be compensated for it.
Side note- As I was reading your story it reminded me of an episode from 3rd Rock from the Sun. Dick lays a stack of cash on the table and decides to tell the waiter up front that this can potential be his tip. Every time he does something right money gets added to the pile. Every time he does something wrong money gets taken away. I think you should go back to this restaurant and pull a Dick. lol.
I also think you did the right thing. She needs to be in a different profession.
I would have done the rounding to the next dollar and left the spare change. When I was a waitress that always got me so pissed. It’s worse than no tip at all. And I’m like you in ALWAYs tipping. It basically should be in the bible (b/c you’re right, they make next to nothing). But service like that needs to be shown they suck. After all, it’s not like it’s a difficult profession. A monkey could have done a better job than her. And maybe even would have groomed you prior to your meal. :)
I probably wouldn’t have left a tip either. That sounds like the worst service. I always tip well but if she was like that, she obviously doesn’t deserve anything for her bitchery.
I would have tipped out of pure guilt. Torsten would not have tipped at all. I think you did the right thing.
I wouldn’t have even paid the bill! You did the right thing. She sounds like a wretched bitch and I can’t believe her manager even stuck up for her!
clearly there is a reason why Applebee’s is going out of business.
:-) No effing tip for shitty service!
I’m with Lean Bean – that you paid the bill at all is a miracle
the no tip thing is a given
I do what I can to tie all aspects of my life together in a pretty bow. Thank you very much.
I would call the corporate office or the owner and report the situation. Busy or not, you can at least be pleasant. I do not think it would have been that bad if she’d been nice. She has a choice to work that job, if she wants to do something else then quit. Forget about the tip.
I don’t think what you did was wrong at all. I agree to call their corporate office.
Personally, in those cases, I will leave a one dollar tip. It’s a little more insulting than leaving nothing. And hey, at least you can say you tipped.
This is coming, by the way, from a former server.
ABSOLUTELY NOOOOO TIP!!!!!
If you call the corporate office or the general manager of the restaurant you may get a good coupon. that is if it was a chain restaurant. If it was a locally owned restaurant I would call the owner.
We have called general managers and district managers in the past to complain about service and typically get 20-25 dollar gift cards and what not.
Now that there are 96 comments can we start to poke fun at ways you could have responded to the server, but didn’t?
1. write “I find you hot” on the bill
2. doodle with lipstick on the table
3. blog about her
4. follow her to her car
5. fart loud enough where she could hear it and point in her direction
egan- You make me laugh. I think the creepiest thing I could have done would have been to take a lot of pictures of her. There were girls who did that to my friend and I in Mexico and it doesn’t sound like it would annoying, but it was. To the tenth degree. Strangers taking pictures of you is never cool. (this is reason #946 I would not want to be a celebrity).
There you have it. Photos of said offending server. Now that would really give her something to think about when she lies in her bed at night.
One hundred!!!
The last time I had a waitress like this, I finally just went over to the bar to get our drinks. When the check finally came, I wrote on it that I gave her tip to the bartender since he was the only one who gave us good service. The bartender laughed when I gave him the money but he really didn’t seem too surprised. I say tip according to service!
I was a server once and I likely would’ve been fired on the spot for such rude behavior. She didn’t deserve a tip. You should’ve wrote on the bill “You owe me, for putting up with your attitude.”
I love egan’s suggestions in #98….and i am so going to use them the next time i feel like messing with someone who has pissed me off (they don’t call ‘thistle’ for nothing)…except for #5…that’s just gross and frankly not in my skill set….
here in Australia, people who work in hospitality have Unions, who fight for their basic rights and wages. The unions don’t have much power, because the sector is highly casualised. However, the base wage is liveable. Not great, but liveable.
So we tip when the service is good. And many people don’t even tip then. It’s not expected, so it’s appreciated. When i worked in hospitality, tips were exciting .. because they were extra.
i reckon it’s the responsibility of the manager to make sure that staff are properly paid, not the customer!! Employers who refuse to pay their staff properly are just wrong. And if that’s the way you’ve always done things, maybe it’s time to change.
Sorry your birthday was so awful.
yours kindly, michael
Um…the words DINE and DASH came to mind while reading this, actually. I give you credit paying this bill in this case (and I’m a huge tipper ALWAYS). If it’s a chain restaurant, I sincerely hope you plan to write corporate about this little bullshit of a situation you were so rudely forced to deal with on your BIRTHDAY. Grrr…
But, again, happy birthday! ;)
Good call. Tipping her reinforces the behavior.
Oh man that made me mad just reading about it!!! On my last birthday I had the worst manicure/pedicure of my life: the lady was rude, kept stopping to answer her phone, made me bleed (!!!!), etc. I did not leave her a tip either, but I was kind of feeling guilty about it. Oh well, I never went back to that salon again.
Why should someone get a tip if they haven’t done good work?
Thistle – don’t got doubting your skills. I bet you can throw your farts too like some can do with their voice.
shit, don’t GO doubting.. Man, I’m a mess today and not very original.
Okay, I know I would have left her something. Granted, that something would be like two dollars or something…but I would have left something.
My alter ego however would leave a nice friendly note explaining that instead of leaving a monetary tip, you are giving her a tip on how to earn said tip…to actually DO HER JOB WITHOUT AN ATTITUDE.
And my evil twin would have walked out without paying…period.
I think I have not left a tip all of about twice in my life. I pretty much always tip, and always tip well, because let’s face it: waitressing is a hell of a job, and pays less than minimum wage (since our lovely government assumes that tips will make up the balance).
That said: a tip is something that I think has to be earned. I perfectly well understand a busy waitress, but I have a lot more respect for a waitress who’s clearly overworked but doing her best and not treating me, the customer, as the enemy. Even if that results in the service being lousy (i.e. slow), I’ll still tip because the person is trying.
I think you made the right choice.
NO TIP.
definitely.
Tipping in the US (from what I understand) is expected protocol no matter what. Howevery it seems to me it’s more of a pity tip like “here’s an extra dollar because our government sucks and doesn’t pay you enough” rather than having anything to do with an honest appreciation for the persons level of service?? In Australia tipping is not something which happens very often, most people get paid a decent wage and it is up to the boss the business how much they receive. Down here, If someone gives good service then you tip them as a compliment and a thank you for doing so well. My friend from the US said the waiters down here have terrible service because they don’t survive on tips, the money is basically more about a nice little ego boost than a requirment for survival. Moral of the story – american waiters should come work down under – you’ll get paid amazingly and receive tips because everyone will be so impressed that you actually give a shit! :)
I worked in hospitality for a decade: host, server, bartender. I almost never leave less than 20%. 20% means you were pretty goshdarn terrible.
I wouldn’t have left a tip.