You know when bloggers write out a list of things they are currently disliking or things that are pissing them off? I love those posts. If I see a blogger has written one, I save it till last in my google reader. I like that they give everyone an opportunity to see a blogger in a different light. I like that they are usually completely unapologetic. I love that they are always so honest.
I’ve never done one before, mostly because my list of what I’m usually hating goes something … 1.Sarah Palin when she’s being smug 2. cream cheese 3. slow drivers 4. Sarah Palin when she’s being interviewed by Charlie Gibson 5. alarm clocks 6. Sarah Palin…. and you see, that sort of list doesn’t really help anyone. However, I recently realized that my list of current hate-ons is far more diverse than usual, so I thought I would celebrate by sharing them with you…. (I don’t blame you click ‘mark as read’ right about now).
1. I hate that anytime I say ‘I hate this’ there’s a small part of my brain that goes “no, hate is a strong word, you just really dislike it“. This voice sounds eerily similar to my mom’s voice. To this day I have a hard time saying that I hate stuff. Which is ridiculous, because *I DO HATE THINGS.
**2. I hate people who treat you like junk. Especially people who say things to you that you are 100% sure they would never say to you if you were a) 10 years older or b) ***the owner of a penis. (For the record? We have the same degree. I’m not your messenger, nor am I the person who should file for you when we are ‘co-teaching’. Also, please don’t lecture me. You are not my boss and you are only my co-worker for one day. If I wanted a lecture, I would time travel back to junior high and take up an extravagant drug addiction and brag about it to my parents).
3. I hate spam messages sent by people with normal sounding names (as opposed to “BigGuyz4U”) who mark their messages as ‘urgent’. I open them and then feel like a fool. EVERY. TIME. I’m the reason spam keeps being sent, because I’m the girl who always opens it.
4. I hate how panicked I feel about the election. (The American one, not mine).
5. I hate that I feel weird admitting #4.
6. I hate my bank balance.
7. I hate the price of gasoline, smeared nail polish and Sarah Palin when she’s being smug (I had to slip it in somewhere).
8. I hate the look I got today when I told someone I hadn’t seen the new Batman movie. Don’t get me wrong, I want to see it, I just haven’t gotten around to it. But giving me the stink eye like I’ve just finished pistol whipping my grandmother is unnecessary.
9. I hate that it’s dark out by 9pm now.
10. I hate that this list could continue. Easily. Too easily.
Don’t worry, my life isn’t spiraling into a deep depression, I’m just annoyed today by a lot of things. By EVERYTHING. I know this feeling will pass. Tomorrow I’m teaching grade 1 and there’s a good chance that at least 3 kids will tell me they love me by lunch time and 7 of them will draw me pictures of horses and/or rainbows. This will all help when one of them pees their pants, unsuccessfully tries to wipe up the pee with their hand and uses that unwashed hand to grab my hand when they finally tell me about the accident.
*I’m okay with this sounding like I’m 5 years old.
**To those who have emailed me today asking how subbing went, this explains it.
***I could have just said ‘man’ but this sounded funnier. Like a penis was a four legged pet that you had to take to the groomers.