As I write this, there’s still not a 100% confirmation on whether there is going to be a debate tomorrow. My fingers are crossed that there will be one. Not only do I have a drinking game for the event, but I am genuinely curious to what both candidates have to say about the current state of the world and what they thought of last nights episode of Grey’s Anatomy. With that said, I present the:
It’s like they’re…mmmagic 2008 Presidential Debate Drinking Game
1. Drink anytime John McCain says the phrase “my friends… ” . I suggest shotgunning two glasses of white wine and capping it off with a terrorist fist bump.
2. Drink if the name “Carly Fiorina” is mentioned. Pull out the beer funnel, close your eyes and drink until the election starts to make sense.
3. Drink anytime a candidate LOOKS like they want to use the word ‘recession’ but instead says ‘crisis’. I suggest a full bodied red wine with just a hint of panic.
4. Drink anytime either candidate gives the other a compliment so backhanded, you start looking for a bruise. I’d go with a spiced rum for this one.
5. Anytime you wish Tina Fey was a candidate, down 2 tequila shooters and google her SNL performance.
6. Drink anytime the word “inexperienced” comes up and you suddenly realize candidates need to come up with a new word to throw at each other because you are really tired of hearing that one.Double drinking if you get depressed and/or scared after realizing that you are choosing between two candidates who both have had that word thrown at their campaign and one of them will be leading the country very soon. I suggest doing a keg stand, followed by a cartwheel.
7. If anytime just hearing the name “Governor Palin” makes you want to drink, DRINK. Drink whatever is nearest to you, as long as it’s not the stove cleaner. And then carefully re-apply your lipstick.
8. Drink anytime you start to feel that Jim Lehrer sounds like your grandfather. Obviously you are going to have to drink vodka for this. (It’s my g-pop’s drink of choice. It’s the Ukrainian in us).
9. Anytime people start listing off acronyms for Federal departments and you don’t know what they stand for- drink your neighbors drink. And realize that you are not alone.
10. If at any point, you find that you are replying to the debate (this includes yelling at the candidates) and are awaiting a rebuttal, slam back a martini. Then congratulate yourself for slamming back a drink that’s not often slammed.
11.Drink if you start daydreaming what you would do with $700 billion dollars. Drink homemade moonshine with a chaser of your no-brand soda you bought because it was on sale.
12.If the phrase “I will follow him to the gates of Hell” is used, drink whatever the hell you want. And then have another drink for me.
13. Anytime the media is blamed for everything that is wrong, kick back with a shot of whiskey while clutching your Keith Olbermann 8×11 you printed off just for the occasion.
14. If at anytime you yell ‘booyah!’ after a particularly good retort, stand up, smack your own ass and pour yourself a gin and tonic.
15. Anytime you realize that you don’t care about the debates, you know the issues and you know who you are going to vote for- stop drinking, congratulate yourself and go to bed.
Sidenote: Want to practice voting? You can go here and vote for me .I know, I’m shameless, but I’m also third and excited!