If you are someone who wants a lot of traffic on your blog, I will give you a tip: wait until tomorrow night and then write a post titled “Vice Presidential Drinking Games”. I guarantee your traffic numbers will explode- mine did.
The funny thing (and by ‘funny’, I mean ‘distressing enough I wished I had an unhealthy addiction to take the pain away’) about suddenly finding your blog getting thousands of hits a day is that it just increases the amount of people who will find your post and NOT like it. Who will hate what you’ve said, who will call you a moron, or unfunny or a ‘bitch with a little brain’. Who will read one post and decide they hate you. I found myself reading multiple posts like that over the weekend, each one bothering more than the last. I left a comment on one- a comment I thought was kind but it turned into a bigger mess. And although I was annoyed and felt that the fault was with the person who misinterpreted the post to begin with, (and yes, it’s possible that a DRINKING GAME post gets misinterpreted) I backtracked. I made a joke. I downplayed what I said. I didn’t chose to fight.
Which got me thinking- there’s always people we back away from, things that we refuse to fight about. I don’t argue with my grandfather, even when I know he’s wrong (but for the record Czechoslovakia NO LONGER EXISTS). I won’t rise to fight about the Canadian election nor will I argue with strangers over whether I think it’s fair they judge me solely on one post they didn’t understand to begin with. I don’t argue with people during stressful wedding planning stages, co-workers who use teaching methods I don’t like or those zealots who start to foam at the mouth whenever they begin talking about ‘new facebook’ vs. ‘old facebook’. For whatever reason, those things aren’t worth the fight to me.
Today I found something that I will fight over.
Today I taught grade six. I walked up and down rows, inhaling Calgon (you were so right!) and Axe. One boy, Avery, had decided to impersonate Satan for the day. He refused to do work, he punched his desk, he yelled at a classmate. I pulled him into the hall and with my very deepest teacher voice, warned him he was on thin ice. He cried, said sorry and missed his recess.
After the last bell has rung and all the kids have left the class, he sauntered over to me and told me that he couldn’t do his homework because he had accidentally ripped the page. Into tiny pieces. All over. I told him that I didn’t have another copy, that there’s was good chance he was going to get a zero on it but that he should come early and talk to his teacher in the morning. He started mumbling and I followed him. That’s when he glanced back at me, saw that I was right behind him and then SLAMMED THE DOOR IN MY FACE.
Hard.
There was a second I thought of doing nothing. My day was over, my time card punched out. But that thought quickly got pushed to the back of my head. I dropped my papers and ran after him. I weaved through a grade 1 class, a dozen grade 3 kids practicing some hopscotch routine while throwing coats at each other (kids are weird), past a group of wrestling 14 year olds- down through a maze of young girls using their high pitched squeals as their main flirting technique and the old boys who found such girlish charms appealing. I found Avery standing with his friends and promptly began a tongue lashing that started with “If you ever even consider doing that again…” and ended with ” you will be sent down to the office so quick your head will be spinning and we will wait there for your parents, who I can guarantee- will be ashamed to hear of your behavior.”
After much talking, he apologized, we shook hands and I walked away. No blood was lost, no organs damaged. I realized that although sometimes it takes a big man to walk away, sometimes it takes a bigger man to stay the fight and chase a small child through a school and give him a verbal beat down that leaves you breathless.
Door slamming. That’s something I’m willing to fight about.
Here here. I’m also one to let things slide rather than confront someone about it (because confronting people is scary even though the things I *think* they’ll say are worse than what they actually say), but good for you. Ten, twenty years down the line that kid might grow up to be a decent man. And I bet you will have had a hand in it.
Addressing the Son of Satan’s door slamming was a good issue to address. You can change, or at least impact, his future behavior. You can make a difference. People who make nasty, uninformed comments based on one post, are convinced that Czechoslovakia is still a country (no disrespect to your grandpa), or who are in the frenzy of wedding planning just don’t. want. to. hear. it. Your voice, views, and opinion is not going to change anything. It won’t even make a dent.
Maybe, by addressing Dante’s Door Slammer, he will grow up to read posts he doesn’t agree with and respectfully disagree. Or, in the alternative, if he feel he doesn’t really know the person who posted and can’t make an informed comment, he will just STFU.
good. he needed you to do that because otherwise he’ll grow up thinking it’s okay to be disrespectful to women. and that is so not cool. and won’t get him laid.
well, he’ll probably still get laid, but whatever.
I want to throttle kids like that. I’d have done the same thing.
holy crap what a jerk. i am glad you did that too! kids like that should not get away with that type of behavior.
and that is why i give you mad props for being a teacher and dealing with kids like that every day. i could not do it.
Erin- Yep, I’m allergic to confrontation with other people a lot of the time, but this really felt necessary! Thanks for your kind words!
Dingo- “Dante’s Door Slammer” might be my new favorite nickname, you definitely made my day with that one.
Tia- I should have just said that… ‘be a jerk and you will never have sex. Ever’. I think that would probably have been more effective… oh well, next time.
EM- I’m glad that a fellow teacher agrees with me on this one!
erin- Thankfully I’m a sub so I don’t have to see him tomorrow. I wonder how teachers deal with that daily though, I think I would still be annoyed tomorrow with what he did today. That’s definitely an area to work on..
ha, tia’s comment got me.
good for you for speaking up to the twit. hopefully he’ll be more conscious of his actions next time because you said something. maybe he’s used to getting his way, his regular teacher letting these things slide (i wonder what his parents are like?). it’s good you spoke up, it’s good he apologized, and it’s damn good that there are little mini-walters in the world who can balance this dude out.
wait, what grade is he in? 6th? and i called him dude? i need to remember that im talking about children here.
I bet he will never forget you nor the lesson you taught him. And that’s a good thing!
brookem- I thought your second line said ‘..speaking up to this twat’. I was like ‘whoa!’. (Okay, that comment made me sound like an awful hybrid between Joey from Blossom and Whitney). And I definitely think you are right, knowing mini-walter exists makes me feel better. (Maybe I should just mentally chant mini’s name anytime I’m with awful kids?
sizzle- fingers crossed. I wish I would have said Tia’s comment though.. :)
I came here for the first time the other day through, I think, a Google Reader suggestion (I didn’t even know they made suggestions). I read all your recent posts and instantly added you to my google reader. I know it’s human nature to focus on the negative things people say, but reading your blog got me excited about reading blogs, which I haven’t been in about a year, so thanks.
And screw those idiots who don’t know a good drinking game when they see one.
Good job laying down the law! Sounds to me like it would do him some good to have someone like you around more often.
And you’re right you didn’t HAVE to say anything.. but I think the fact that you did just shows how commited you are to affecting and teaching the students you interact with, not just about math and english, but about respect and manners. And that’s what makes a true teacher.
Good job on stopping the bratty-ness! And *sigh* on the critical people. I wish people could talk without the ad hominem attacks. But, you are getting people talking, so your stuff is getting out further than just those critics, out to people with a bit more perspective.
I vote you live blog the debate (http://www.coveritlive.com) and we can all play online drinking games together and take them as not-seriously as we want to ;) Seriously though, live blogging…debates…you know you want to…
Heh – I wish I could do that to my coworkers sometimes. But, in the so-called “professional” world, it would probably be more trouble than it would be worth…
This story has just given me another reason why I don’t want to procreate.
You have just given me some flashbacks (oh the horror stories i could tell) to my subbing days…gr 6 seems to be a bad year…and gr 9…and maybe gr 3′s…which does makes it seem like kind of satanic/biblical…hmmm…
and popular political posts do seem to bring out the ‘radicals’ (most diplomatic term i could come up with)…i especially like the ones who share their spin on constitutional excerpts and/or scripture…that’s some fun stuff…
brookem used my word -TWIT!
I am typically not bothered by comments left by readers and have always left them as is–until yesterday. I got the most incomprehensibly ugly, religious babble on a post and it didn’t even make sense. As hard as it was, I opted to delete it because I find it offensive, not really for me (because it wasn’t about me or my post) but to readers.
I read your post about the drinking games and thought it was great… people are entirely to easy to offend these days.
it’s your blog, say what you want… and remember any time an American gets mad at something you say, just quote the first amendment.
I did notice that you said you wouldn’t talk about the Canadian Election… come’ on that’s a topic full of great things to laugh at… I am sure I will have lots to say after watching the debates tonight and tomorrow!
Keep writing the way you want….. for no other reason than I enjoy reading!
Good for you!
And don’t worry about people’s snipey comments…
See there are times when teaching is great. When the kids are so cute and a hug from them makes your day. Other days. Well, you get the hideous kids!
At least your kid was in 6th grade. I have a preschooler with Down Syndrome that ROLLS HIS EYES at me like a 13 year old girl anytime I tell him something he doesn’t like. Oy!
I think I’d have a panic attack if my blog had that much of a traffic jump.
Good for you for standing up for yourself! Its hard. Avoiding conflict is so much easier, but my mom always says “People will treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you.”
And I loved your Drinking Game post. So much so that I forwarded it to everyone in the office who thought it was H-I-larious too! Seriously…people need to lighten up!
I agree with you completely! There are some arguements that are just not worth wasting your energy on.
Really great post lady!
Wow, I’m impressed. I would have totally just sent him directly to the principals office. I don’t like confrontation like that. I would much rather just go to the higher power to get him in big doody trouble.
I’m the same way – with my mother and a few other family members, it’s easier and better to not engage when they say things that are so incredibly crazy. But in this situation with Avery…I think you did the right thing. My guess is that he’s used to being “let go” when he does stuff like that. Perhaps you chasing him down the hall and confronting him about his horrible behaviour is what he was looking for. Who knows…kids are weird.
I think it was very very very needed that you chased him through the school and put him in his place. I have a sneaking suspicision there are alot of adults around him who are just too tired and drained to chase him through the school and let him know bad behavior is not ok, I’m glad you decided to deal with him. Go Brandy!
I’m with you. Kids are worth fighting for, and we don’t teach them that something is unacceptable, they’ll keep on doing it.
I hear ya, I am so not a fighter although lately – maybe it’s getting older or this city, I’m getting ballsier – which is a good thing.
I’m so glad you didn’t just give up on that kid, and you went after him and he apologized. I totally agree w/Tia about teaching boys especially that it’s not ok to act like that. You sound like an amazing teacher seriously, these kids may not know it yet but they are lucky to have you.
Woo hoo! Good for you! Boys (and girls too) need to be held accountable for disrespectful behavior. I think sometimes bad behavior gets ignored because of the reasons you stated (it’s the end of the day, teachers want to go home, they’ll deal with it tomorrow, it’s only one offense-let it slide) and it breeds more bad behavior, and more disrespect.
The fact that you didn’t let the kid get away with something like that makes you the kind of teacher kids need (as if we didn’t know you’re a great teacher!).
And thanks for the shoutout, Calgon and BonneBell is what middle school is all about.
Good for you! Some kids can be real jerks. I’m glad you didn’t let him get away with treating you that way.
Good for you! When I was about that age I developed a habit of slamming my bedroom door when my father and I were fighting. He threatened to take it off its hinges if I ever did it again. I did it again.
And thus began my month without a bedroom door. And honestly? Well done him. I sure as hell never slammed my door after that.
Grade six is so scary!
Wow. What a little punk ass! Good for you chasing him. I would have done the same.
Most of the time I just walk away. Every once in a while I stand up for myself and it feels really good.
Good for you for chasing him down. He probably needs someone to tell it like it is.
You are a rockstar. That little….thing needed his ass chased and then yelled at badly. Good for you for standing up to this kid and not letting him get away with that. I don’t know if i could have done it!
im gald you said something….this is why i could not be a teacher, because i would either be fired or be in jail….
Nicely handled. I don’t think you could have done it any better.
And all those nasty commenters have sad pathetic lifes. I mean really, think about it, they have to be sad to have that much negativity spewing out of their keyboards. So phewey on them. (I know, that isn’t a word, but it was fun to type it out). It’s your blog and you’ll write what you want to.
Rock on!
Good for you Brandy!
My dad was a 3rd grade teacher and he once had a little boy punch him in the nuts out of anger. Needless to say, my dad was not happy about it and disciplined the child. Then the school reprimanded my dad for “taking it personally” and made him apologize to the boy.
Umm… what?!
Kids are brats. They should not be allowed to get away with acting like satan.
I comment when I like something I read and I like your blog and the way you write. I don’t really understand why people would waste time leaving a nasty comments but then I don’t understand a lot of things lately.
First of all, I LOVED your dirinking game. I spent the better part of my weekend perfecting my “terrorist fist bump.” And anyone who chases down an adolescent boy to yell at him is a winner in my book.
Keep it up.
I’m willing to fight for kids learning social skills and justice and fairness.
If they don’t, we’re all screwed.
I just met your blog last week and I am in serious love with it. So, screw those naysayers. You don’t need them here anyway. You have us. <3
good for you! kids are so rude now a ‘days. Sometimes I sound like an old person but seriously? Kids are so rude! And to lash him in front of his friends…good call :)
I hope that sticks with him. I really, really do. Because if you would not have gone after him, he could very well grow up to be a guy that’ll slam the door in the face of a woman.
You rock– way to make him apologize and maybe next time he’ll think twice before he behaves like an asshole.
We all have our lines– kudos to you for defending that line.
And, seriously, I’m in awe about the negative feedback… how can people be offended by a piece of humour writing? Sure, they can not like it, but does that make you a bad person somehow??
Well, *I* liked your drinking game post.
Man, I’m sorry that happened to you. Internet people can be mean and judgmental. If they had taken more than 10 seconds to read your writing, they would know how awesome you are!!
Tim- Wow! That was such a nice comment to leave, thank you so much. If you lived closer I would send bake you an apple cobbler and sent it over immediately!
LMO- Yes, it’s good that I taught him about manners because there’s a good chance I flubbed their math lesson. Seriously, rounding decimals to the hundreth, then converting them into fractions?? Who needs that sort of knowledge?
Belle- Ohhhh I think I may have to do this! (And sidenote, I think it’s funny, but one of the blogs who hated my post because it wasn’t a ‘serious’ drinking game, just came out with drinking game that they want people to take ‘as a joke’. People. I don’t understand them).
geekhiker- Yes, I do not think you would benefit from doing what I did!
mentalthreesixty- I understand. Teaching is often the best form of birth control.
thistle- Ohh I completely agree! Subbing grade 9 is never fun. Although, I haven’t had a problem subbing grade 3. Perhaps because I’m still taller than them I feel like I can still be in charge (as for the grade 6 students? Forget it. Most are taller than me)
Diane Mandy- That brookem, the word stealer! ;) As for the comment you got, I’m sorry. That definitely sounds very cruel. People need hobbies.
Woolly- Aww thanks for your nice words! Sadly though, my reason for not speaking out on the Canadian election is mostly due to the fact I don’t know enough yet to be confident in any argument. I’m still learning. I’m in a two week crash course to learn everything I can about all the parties before I vote. (I know, I’m a bad Canadian. Why don’t I know more already? Because I’m in love with Obama. There, the secret is out.)
ladyfi- Thanks!
LCT- Exactly. I really have noticed extremes this year when it comes to kids. Hopefully they settle down!
Erin- Whoa! Seriously?! Dear goodness.. that would drive me insane. Eye rolling gets me.
Ben- I just about did. Although, the upside was that it confirmed my feelings that I would never want to be a famous blogger like Dooce. Too much pressure.
Suz- Your mom sounds smart. I like thinking like that, it makes me feel like I should be more assertive. Definitely something for me to work on!
BloodRedRoses- Thanks! (I have a new one to the list- I will not argue over people over which is the quickest way to get ANYWHERE. Such conversations are never resolved with all parties happy)
DOK- You know, the principals office DID flash in my mind, but as much as the bugger annoyed me, I didn’t want him to miss his bus. If he had pulled the stunt in the middle of the day however, it might have been a different story. I did end up leaving a pretty clear note to his teacher though, telling her exactly what happened.
SM- But YOUR kid won’t be weird, nor will your child be a person who slams doors in peoples faces. I just can’t picture that.
Ruby- I think you are right about this idea that he gets away with a lot. Or, the other side is that he had a sub and just felt like being a punk. Either way, I’m glad I ran a marathon to hunt him down like a crazy person.
Ally- Exactly!!
Semichrmd- Tia really did say it, didn’t she?? Also, congrats on getting ballsier, that’s going to be my new goal!
Shaba- I thought you would like that shout out!! Ohhh Bonne Bell! I LIVED for that lipgloss growing up. Cotton Candy was my favorite. Okay, who am I kidding, it’s STILL my favorite.
Toe- Thank you!!
LivitLuvit- Oh man! I was never a door slammer, but a few of my friends were though none of them got their doors removed. Kudos to your dad for the follow through!
allthewine- Agreed. And it only gets scarier…
Jamie- I love that you called him a punk ass. Seriously.
tori- I have a feeling that you would have done the same thing, with your awesome kid skills!
Ashley- Ohh… you would have. Trust me. I’m pretty sure Mother Teresa would have came after this kid after the behavior he pulled all day.
dmb5_libra- You sound like one of my best friends, she says the same thing.
Kellie- I love the made up word, I may borrow it sometime. And I’m with you on the negativity. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I’m negative too, but I’m fairly confident that the day that I link to bloggers and talk about how they are idiots for a post they wrote is the day I will quit blogging.
Jess- Whoa! That’s insane! Your poor dad!
mcmisura- Aww thanks for your comment! As for nasty stuff.. yeah, I’m not sure why people bother either….
Sara- Terrorist fist bump… man, I love that. And I love that I’m a winner for chasing down a child. We could definitely be good friends you and I!
Ashley.marie- Exactly. If we don’t teach them those skills, how will they grow up to be superheroes? Or at the very least, super awesome?
hellogorgeous- Wow, such nice words! Now I’m feeling guilty for writing about the nasty stuff, it looks like I was just writing that to get all this good stuff, but I swear- that wasn’t my intent! (Although, I do love it, thank you)
Kari- I’m with you on the old thing. I find myself saying ‘when I was that age….’ very often lately. And I’m usually shaking my walking stick at someone when I’m saying it.
justrun- You know? I hadn’t even thought of it that way, but what a great point to make!
Maxie-Yep, I’m with you. And anyone who doesn’t think that a six grader can be called an ‘asshole’, never met this child. For real.
Princess Pointful- I know, the feedback thing confused me too! And like I said to an earlier commenter, it’s even more annoying because they’ve just put up a post that’s in the same humorous line as my old one (except they are doing it for the VP debate). Oh well, all the power to them, I suppose.
Parchemina- I did too actually and it was fun to write, so I guess that’s all that matters.
ExSchutz- Oh thank you! Maybe they were just in a bad mood because they couldn’t do the keg stand. Either way, I’m not going to worry about it anymore. I mean, how could I?? I have so many GREAT comments here, it would be ridiculous to think only about the bad ones.
in america now youd have to worry about having your tires slashed
Did you read the one on CNN today about the 7 year old kid in Australia who broke into the zoo, started clubbing animals and fed them to the alligator?
I wonder what HE will be like in 6th grade.
I’m not a confrontational person, but there are some things I would stand up to fight for. While I’ve never gotten a really nasty comment (I’m waiting for it, though), I have a feeling I would want to ignore whatever they said even if it got under my skin. Kudos to you for saying something to one of them, no matter how much more messy things got.
That’s ridiculous about that kid and him slamming the door in your face. I swear. Kids these days… no respect.
I am DELIGHTED to hear you did that! I am delighted to know there are teachers who are willing and able to do that (albeit on a different continent to where I am). I chose the school my sons attend largely because of their attitude to discipline and respect. Well done!
You actually got a sixth grade boy to APOLOGIZE?
Damn… you seriously *are* mmmagic!
[...] what I mean? Stuff is going on but I’m not chasing kids down halls and no one is trashing my hair. Some might think this is a good thing, but when there’s no [...]