There’s sort of a big event happening on Tuesday that a lot of people are talking about. I may have even talked about it a few times, might have even casually shared a few views on what I thought. But, I need a day without discussing the topic that shall not be named. Because if I talk about it today, there’s a chance I may turn into someone as crazy as he who shall not be named.
1. I’m getting tired of the lady at Starbucks verbally abusing me. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch- she’s not like, calling me four eyes or dick wad or something, but she scoffs every time I place my order. You see, I’m not an 8 syllable drink sort of girl. I get steamed apple juice. (If you want to scoff, now is the time). The problem is, this apparently is not the cool drink to get. Every time I order it (which happens everyday at 7:45am), she repeats back my order with an air of disbelief. Then when I confirm she has it right- she scoffs. THEN, she tries to convince me to have something different. She usually starts off by asking me if I want to try the carmel apple spice blend. And when I say no, she moves on to the salted carmel signature hot chocolate. When I say I just want steamed apple juice, she rolls her eyes and huffs like a porpoise giving birth. I may have to find a new Starbucks. Or just go crazy on her and ask why is it on the menu if it’s not a cool drink?!
2. I need to stop caring if people think my beverage selection is cool. Can a beverage even be cool? I suppose. Like, $8 bottled water might be cool to some people. Or bottled water teaming with friendly bacteria that eat away your fat lining. Okay, I made that up, but I bet if it existed, it would be considered cool. Like, Robert De Niro cool. Also? I may have just spent a very long time researching the different calorie counts at the Starbucks website. Never again.
3. I’m in the process of switching to gmail. I know. Give me another year and I may stop using my beeper and get one of those phones without a cord. The kicker is, I’m so scared of full on commitment- I’ve had a gmail account for years, but couldn’t make the full switch. I was in email limbo. I’m working on it. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any advice on how to dive head first into an new email host. It’s scary. WHY THE HELL IS THERE NO FOLDERS? (I just realized between me complaining about fancy drinks and the complicated mess that is gmail, I’m sounding a lot like my grandfather. Don’t even get me started on growing tomatoes or the best way to wash a motor home).
4. Karma curb stomped my “know-it-all” self. Remember when I ranted about slutty costumes on Halloween? Yeah. This year, my Halloween plans fell through and I spent a large portion of my evening driving around my twentysomething younger brother and his twentysomething friends who had all consumed twentysome odd shots, listening to them explain to me why I’m a jerk for not fully supporting girls who go out dressed as Sexy Rainbow-Brite. From what I could untangle from the slurred words and intermittent “I LOVE YOUS”, it has to do with democracy. And boobs. Mostly boobs.
5. Nablopomo? No go. Seriously. I’ve yet to participate and I doubt I ever will (watch, next year I will be the first person signed up and make fun of anyone who doesn’t). Between teaching children who have personal issues, watching coverage on the topic that must not be named AND STILL wondering how this woman doesn’t know about Harry Potter, I don’t have the time. Plus, I have to factor in that whole “not even a single ounce of me wants to do it” and I’m pretty happy with my choice. With that said, I always look forward to reading what everyone else has to say. I’m keeping you all in my thoughts and will be there to cheer you on to the November 30th finish line.
I’m currently working on a top-secret project and need some assistance. It involves having some spare time and the topic that (still) must not be named. Email me if you think you can help. (And with all the details I gave, I will be surprised if there are not HUNDREDS, if not THOUSANDS of you volunteering).
Oh! And I’m guestposting HERE today.