On Taser Guns & Giveaways

So, many of you know Lisa who is a) a gem b) the founder of 20SB. You know she’s a big deal because she’s first name only- Lisa. She’s the new Dooce. Trust. Anyway, Lisa let me in on this fun idea called Blog Carnival where you get a topic and write on it and then they get shared. And this months topic involved Presents! And a list! Two of my favourite things (Also? The day that there’s a topic that involves presents, lists AND Josh Lyman, I may pee my pants with excitement. Internet, you have been warned), so of course I had to do this. There’s a few different topic ideas (all of them are awesome), but the one I went with was:

Things I want for Christmas That Are Absolutely Free

1. A good hair day. One that even Mallard would approve of.
2. Someone to come over and wrap all my Christmas presents. With fancy bows and ribbons and everything else that gets Martha Stewart hot and bothered.
3. A love letter. Of course, I’d settle for a like letter, as in “brandy! I like you more than Mandy Moore”. Or actually any letter in the mail that doesn’t involve reading about cell phone plans.
4. A volunteer to shovel the mountain of  snow off my car. I’m not kidding folks, it’s a mountain. Like, people could trek to the top of it and put up a flag. And then spend a day skiing down it.
5. Andrea to move back to Canada (who is Andrea you ask? See Comment #69 in the previous post). Okay, I realize this one isn’t really free, there’s airfare involved, but Andrea! Come back anyway!
6. The ability to talk about what happened last night on “The Hills” without feeling a) deeply ashamed b) that I’m the punchline of a joke I don’t know about and c) 14 years old. (But really? If you need a “Patron Push” to get married, I’m thinking you might want to re-think the idea).
7. Not to break my legs attempting to snowboard this year. Pray for me people.

See? Blog Carnival is fun. You should do it. Because I said. And peer pressure is the only way fun things ever get done.

Anyway.

So, one of my best pals birthday was in October, so I thought I should wait until the middle of December to give her the birthday present I had for her. I’m thoughtful like that. I had bought her Season 4 of The Office, but when I went to wrap it, I couldn’t find it. In a guilt ridden panic fueled from giving such a late birthday present, I rushed to the mall and bought another copy of the season. And then (of course), I later found the first copy I had bought in the trunk of my car. Because naturally, that’s where I would put such a treasure. I’m sure if I cleaned it out I’d find some sweet issues of YM magazine, my autographed Bret “the Hitman” Hart poster and a half of bottle of Fanta.

I could have returned one copy, but that would require walking back into the *mall. And I’ve reached the point where I’d rather volunteer for someone to take a taser gun to my delicate lady parts then spend more time in a mall. So, this means I have an extra copy and I’m giving it away on the good ‘ol blog. Of course, I could have just skipped the last two paragraphs and just said ‘hey! I’m giving away Season Four of “The Office”, but then I coudn’t have made the taser joke.
the-office

To enter? Send me your first born, or a lock of Owen Wilson’s hair. OR just leave a comment linking to your favourite post ANY blogger has written this year. You have until Sunday, December 21st at 11:19pm EST. Man. I love the random rules. No wonder bloggers love hosting giveaways. I feel so drunk with power.

* And if you DO have to spend more time in the mall? I suggest watching this commercial. Watching the best athletes in the world compete is usually enough for me to muster up the energy to go wait in line at Best Buy.

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