So like every other human alive, I dig free stuff. I also dig books. So when I got an email a few months ago from this woman offering me a free book if I reviewed it, I said yes. Absolutely. And if you lived closer lady? I would want to buy you dinner for your troubles.
See how thoughtful I am?
Anyway, the day my book arrived- “You lost him at hello“, I did a little happy dance. This is exactly the kind of book I’d never have bought, but would be secretly curious about. (Sidenote: Any authors out there? If you have the third and fourth books in a series about teenagers and vampires? Feel free to send them my way because I’ve yet to pick them up). I hate to say this, but three pages in and my happy dance had morphed into a painful headache, complete with random eye twitching and excessive sighing.
Let me explain.
“A saleswoman’s secrets to closing the deal with any guy you want” is the tagline on the cover of “You Lost Him at Hello”, by Jess McCann. In theory, Jess- a successful businesswoman, says all the right things- a girl needs to be confident, needs to have interests, needs to take care of her appearance, but each of these points is underlined with the notion- if you DO follow these guidelines, you will get a man. Which is the part that I guess I struggle to accept.
For example, Jess writes that women should view themselves as “a cable TV package”. And guys like variety, so if you are only into celebrity gossip, not many guys are going to pick up on that. If you have a broader range of interests however, it’s more likely that you are going to find a guy who has more of the same ‘stations’ as you. So you will have more in common, and thus be more likely to fall in love.
Sounds pretty harmless right? I guess. But I couldn’t help but think while reading “why not just say, ‘you should learn about different things because it will just make you a more interesting person?”. The way that it’s written, the focus routinely comes back to the idea that if you act a certain way, say certain words, then guys will be helpless for your charms. And maybe that’s a good thing, and maybe that’s what people like, but it just seems sort of manipulative to me. There’s a definite ‘us against them’ type of mentality I noticed in the book. As though my gender needs to ‘keep the ball in our court’ as long as possible, and by doing so, we will weaken men and have them surrender to our charms and saucy “icebreakers”. At times I felt like this was “The Rules” with a business angle.
There’s pages devoted on how a girl should leave early on dates to keep a guy wanting more, which Jess calls “ending on the height of impulse” . And I suppose this makes sense- leave a guy wanting more, but I’ve never been a girl who could leave when the date was most fun. Perhaps this is why I’m single? And if it is, I have to say I’m sort of okay with that. I’d rather stay late, have fun, and be single, then leave early and get the guy.
I will say this- the book is an easy read. Jess has a likeable personality and a writing style that makes you feel less like you are reading a book on how to date and more like you are chatting with one of your uber successful, dating-focused girlfriends.
And although I can’t say that I would follow many of the suggestions listed by Jess, they did cause me to think of how I act towards men and I suppose any type of reflection that comes with how I deal with the male species is a good thing. (And causes me to drink heavily. Just kidding. Sort of. Speaking of, any good holiday drink recipes anyone wants to share?!).
Overall, I could see how this book would benefit some people, but just not someone like me. Call me old fashioned, but I’d rather stay out as late as I can if I’m having a good time, kiss on the first date if I feel like it, and occasionally wear sweatpants while running errands instead of thinking every time I leave the house I should be dressed up in case today is the day I could meet ‘the one’.
Which, of course is why I don’t buy books on how to ‘close the deal’ when it comes to men. Which of course, might explain why I’m single and I’m fairly confident Jess Mc Cann isn’t.
Am I the only one who doesn’t have a list of dating rules? What “rules” do you follow?
ALSO: Season 4 Office Winner… (thanks randomizer.org) was #16, The Dutchess of Kickball! Congratulations lady! Email me your address to claim your prize.