1. If I ever audition for American Idol, I will focus on SONG CHOICE. And you know, not sucking as a singer. And for the record? I despise bikini girl. NOT because she wore a bikini to the first audition, but because she talks like a baby. If Randy wore a bikini, I would not hate him. If he talked like a baby? Yes, there would be hate. Baby talk is grounds for friendship termination. Baby talk. It’s no good. Lesson learned.
2. There are situations where it’s impossible to say the right thing. Where every possible word will be taken the wrong way, every sentence turns into an accusation, every topic change just to avoid what you don’t even know you are avoiding- is seen as an insult. And it’s exhausting. And yet, I keep thinking of how to fix it, because some things are worth a bruised ego. Lesson learned.
3. Why does my wine hangover always seem 100 times worse than any other type of hangover? I’m confident that I could drink enough vodka to fill a bathtub and still not feel as bad as I do after two glasses of a crisp white wine. I woke up yesterday morning and was convinced the only way I was ever going to feel better was if someone would drill into my brain to relieve the pressure. When you think power tools entering your skull is what is going to save you, there’s a serious problem. Wine is not my friend. Lesson learned.
4. Not having a bra on will always make things awkward. (Hey 7-11 cashier! Meet my headlights, and yes! You are right! It is cold outside). Ugh. I NEED TO MAKE BETTER CHOICES. Lesson learned.
5. Typing “Lesson learned” after each lesson is both annoying and redundant. Lesson learned.
In other news (I could so make it as a news anchor), I’ve gotten some emails asking people if they can still hand in secrets for “The Secret Project“. My answer? Why not? Rules are made to be broken, especially rules I created myself. How about try and hand them in by Friday? And because that last sentence felt really teacher-y, I’m going to end this post the way I ended all my writing assignments up until 3rd year university third grade: