It’s Monday, so you know the drill. Read past Monday (or Sunday!) posts in January, February, March and April to get caught up. Also remember to keep the secrets coming and let other people know about the project. Submissions have slowed a bit so I may start posting monthly instead of weekly.
1.I got an abortion last week. The guy hurt me badly, so I texted him to tell him I was pregnant and getting an abortion because I was more concerned about my own feelings than his, and he responded by saying, “Well it’s done now, cheers.” The reason I didn’t have the baby is because it was his child.
2 Sometimes I really dislike the fact that my husband is the only man who will ever see me naked. I mean, it sounds terrible, but part of me really wants someone else to appreciate it. Just for vanity’s sake, I guess.
3. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 21.
4. I had sex with my husbands best friend. It happened before my husband and I got together and he doesn’t know. And I hope he never finds out.
5. I told my fiance I loved baseball when we first started dating to impress him. He still thinks I like it but the truth is, I’d rather watch paint dry than watch a game.
6. I hate it when people I don’t like are nice to me because then it makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know how awful this makes me sound, that’s why it’s my secret.
7. I cried harder watching Grey’s Anatomy than I did at my aunts funeral.
8. I get up before my boyfriend so I can sneak on some make up before he sees me. He always thinks I’m going to the bathroom but I’m really throwing on some concealer!
9. When I eat oreo’s, I scrape all the icing off with my teeth and throw the cookies out. My wife says it’s such a waste and thinks it’s completely bizarre but oreo icing is goddamn delicious.
10. I hate all the popular blogs.
In other news, life has been crazy busy lately. Crazy- three hours of sleep- getting up six minutes before I’m going to work- all encompassing- never ending sort of crazy. This past weekend I went to one of my dearest friends bachelorette party. I had organized a city wide Amazing Race project for teams to compete in and later that night we went to a piano bar to dance until we sweated our mascara off celebrate. I’ve tried to think of how I could explain the night but I think this picture says more than I ever could.
Please note that I’m barefoot in a bar. Standing on a floor sticky with the residue of a drink called Tall Paul (but really should be called “dangerously delicious blueberry vodka, rum and ginger ale drink that will result in thinking I know how to rap. And send really long emails to people“- sorry about that). Also take note of the broken Mardi Gras beads and mask- party accessories. And my tiara- that had nothing to do with Mardi Gras but that I felt necessary to wear. And lastly, let’s note that it takes a special kind of drunk girl to take pictures of her feet. And an even more bizarre, sober girl to feel like the internet needs to see such pictures. I hope you had a weekend as memorable and lovely as mine.