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I got a few emails today asking where The Secret Project was. The truth is, submissions have slowed so I’m going to post once a month. I have to say, The Secret Project is such a treat for me to share. There were some secrets that made me cry, ones that made me laugh out loud, ones that broke my heart into eleventy thousand pieces- and there was one secret someone shared that was one that I kept too. And checking my inbox and finding that someone else had gone through something I had? Well, it was like the universe whispering to me ‘you’ll be okay’.
That’s as deep as I’m going to get after last nights vodka consumption. (Shhh.. can you hear that? Listen closely and you can hear my liver putting itself up for adoption).
Though I sprinkled in a few of my secrets throughout entries, I thought I would come clean and share a few of my secrets that I’ve never thought worthy of their own blog post, confessions that flutter in my brain late at night when I’m recounting what kind of life I lead, secrets that may sound silly but are the very quirks that define me as quickly and matter of factly as my DNA. Prepare to be underwhelmed.
1. I don’t condone stealing, however after leaving a particularly stressful job at a college where I was underpaid, overwhelmed and frustrated- I quit. And then went back the next day and wheeled out my favourite office chair like it was a personal prop I had forgot to pack up, put it in the back of my truck and drove away. And yes, I know there is a particularly hot spot in Hell reserved for people who steal office equipment. With that said, my spine is currently in heaven, so it’s a trade off I’m willing to make.
2. Sometimes re-reading old posts break my heart because they remind me of things I no longer have.
3. I have paid money to own songs sung by Miley Cyrus.
4. I have a horribly morbid habit of imaging how sad I will be when people die. Not family members or friends but famous people. If I can’t sleep I will lay in bed rating how sad I would be if a particular celebrity were to die. All time highest sad rating? Jack Nicholson. I just know when he dies I’m going to be devastated beyond repair. I’m not even a huge Jack fan but he just seems like such a character. Plus, once he goes- who is going to sit in the front row at the Oscars and creepily stare at the under 25 year old starlets?
5. I like cheese on my popcorn. When I was in high school, I used to babysit these two girls who LOVED shredded cheese on their popcorn everyday after school. I tried it and was hooked. I casually mentioned it a few times and my friends looked horrified- like I said I liked to sprinkle the blood of dead baby seals on my guilty pleasure snack, so I began to feel ashamed and hid this secret like it was a cocaine habit I was iffy on wanting to break.
And now I’m going to go twirl in my chair I pilfered and maybe go watch a movie starring Jack. Or maybe just talk my liver into staying with me just for a little bit longer.
Actually the cheese over the popcorn sounds DELISH!
But this may be due to the fact that I will put cheese or eat cheese with practically anything. It’s just too good not to.
We should be best friends forever.
I sprinkle grated parmesean cheese on my popcorn TOO!!!!!!!
Go to the store. Now. And buy Smartfoods Cheddar Popcorn. Now. It’s on the “chips and crackers” aisle. Now!!
Yes! I feel less crazy. I want to send all my high school friends here so they can read this. Cheese with popcorn is not the craziest thing in the entire world VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheese popcorn is the best! Who are these people who think it’s gross? They don’t know what they’re missing.
I’m thinking I should have titled this post “Cheese on Popcorn lovers unite”. I feel all warm and fuzzy knowing we are all in this together.
It’s definitely delicious! We have kettle corn here, and I love it with that dried up powdery cheese. It’s like Cheetos, but healthier…right?? I’ve done the same about celebs, except mine is Robert Redford. All I have to do is think about him in The Great Gatsby and I might get a little misty eyed.
Robert Redford is my #2! Especially when I start thinking about old Robert Redford- saving the planet Robert Redford. Ohh he is a great man.
Mmm, I love grated cheddar cheese on my popcorn. My boyfriend initially thought I was crazy, but he’s now addicted too.
I’m glad we have another convert. We should just take over the world.
I’ve never tried cheese on popcorn, but I can’t imagine it’d be in any way bad. In my head I’m conjuring up popcorn style nachos. Cheese, salsa, sour cream, maybe a little guacamole.
As for #4, I’ve recently ended up with a habit whereby whenever I hear a song by Luther Vandross I’m quietly upset and consider how much worse off the world is without him. I didn’t even used to be that big of a fan!
I’m pretty sure guacamole makes everything better. And now I’m going to feel the same way when ever I hear the Luth. (Was he ever called that? “The Luth”? I think I’m just making stuff up now…)
Um cheese on popcorn sounds DELICIOUS. I’m definitely going to try it.
I knew you would get it.
I love cheese popcorn! Your friends are crazy.
I’m sending them here to read this.
Now I’m curious about which of the post secrets were yours.
Peter, I must retain a veil of mystery.
I have paid money to own songs by Michael Bolton (HE REMINDS ME OF MY CHILDHOOD, OKAY? My Mom listened to him a lot) and various American Idol contestants.
Ohhh American Idol contestants! I get that. David Cook singing Mariah Carey.. yeah. I may own that.
What kind of cheese? I bet you could sprinkle cheese on those dead baby seals and it would make them delicious.
Well, I prefer shredded cheddar. But apparently Parmesan is quite good too. And I apparently can’t spell Parmesan without the help of spell check. FAIL
As always, brilliant. I love that you stole an office chair, if I lived near you I would have been in the back of the truck helping you load it up. Sometimes there are just things you can justify after being a disgruntled employee for so long.
Awww! That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard. Someone should turn your comment into a hallmark card. I know other people have stolen office supplies and equipment and it’s nice to know we have support.
This is the first time I’ve read your blog and I can’t decide whether to point at laugh at you paying for Miley Cyrus songs (to be fair, I’ve never even HEARD one, so I have no idea what they’re like) or to bow down to you because people have been making fun of me for eating popcorn with nacho cheese (at the movie theater) for my entire life (since high school). But it’s so good. Parmesan cheese is also tasty. I’ve never tried shredded cheddar, but that sounds like a good plan.
Yeah the Miley thing is sort of ridiculous but I figure if I can admit to stealing office equipment, I should own up to paying 99 cents to hear “the climb”. Also? I’m glad you are on board with the cheese and popcorn. I’m going to have to try some new cheese options.
sometimes, re-reading old posts do the exact same to me
but somehow it’s really cathartic
I get that. It’s really strange (and sometimes awesome) to have such an exact marker of your life- what you were doing this time last year, two years ago… I think the only time it really bugs is when I read posts about having a teaching job. Possibly because I do not have one now. Le Sigh.
There are certain jobs that just owe you some office equipment upon your departure.
Agreed. People should tell you this in university. It’s really something everyone should know.
The blood of baby seals is delicious on ANYTHING. Try it on popcorn and then wash it down with a beer. Divine!
I knew if anyone would make a crack about the blood of seals it would be you. Also, I appreciate that you ended your comment with the word ‘divine’. I’m going to start saying that more!
Cheese on popcorn is the best!
Yeah!!
Cheese on popcorn sounds perfectly normal to me. Maybe it’s an American thing?
Maybe that explains it. You all seem to be on board yet no one around me appreciates it. Man. I definitely need dual citizenship.
That’s AWESOME that you pilfered your chair. You deserved it! After teaching, I brought home all of my teaching supplies (stationary and such), some of which I bought, some were the schools. I felt good taking it all. I then donated it all to charity because that felt even BETTER!
Wow. You are a nicer person than me. I definitely didn’t donate my chair to charity. I love it too much. But you know, I can only imagine how good it felt to do that!
i sometimes imagine funerals too, it’s awful! and i can’t help it. but i know the day keanu reeves dies, i won’t talk to anyone, i’ll be too sad.
Ohhh man. I get that. Or for some reason.. Kelly Ripa. I don’t even watch Regis and Kelly but I just think when she dies I will be ridiculous, on the floor, no will to live, sort of sad.
you are awesome…I am picturing you wheel that chair out!!!
I wish I had been a blogger then. I would have written the greatest ode to my chair. I really do feel like I rescued it from a toxic work environment.
[...] then reading yesterday got me thinking. I have some secrets I wouldn’t mind owning up to. Some secrets some people [...]
I was going to comment about Miley Cyrus sounding like a boy but then I scroll down and realize you are responding to comments?
This makes me happy.
We will see how long this lasts. I give it a week.
#4 made me laugh out loud. At first I thought, “awe, I hate it when I do that” but then I saw you were talking about celebrities. Classic!
So impressed with the chair stealing. i’ve only ever managed stationary…
Oh and in honour of this, I’ve tagged you as Awe-summ. Feel free to check it out.
I LOVE Miley Cyrus. My nanagirl and I sing her music to videos on my laptop. Our favorite is The Climb. We went to see Hannah Montana together, too, and I thought it was really cute.
I like your secrets project, and thought about posting some of my secrets there, but just couldn’t do it.
It’s ok, I too have paid ridiculous amounts of money for tunes by Miley Cyrus and Hillary Duff and yeah, maybe even The Jonas Bros. Please don’t tell anyone.
How funny! I do the talking on my mobile to avoid sales people too…It’s not my fault though. They can be sooo annoying :roll:
Your chair story made me laugh out loud. I could just picture you wheeling it out to your truck -whistling innocently :)
And you’re totally right about Jack. Who would “sit in the front row at the Oscars and creepily stare at the under 25 year old starlets” indeed?
Ps. My new to-do: Try sprinkling cheese over my popcorn -sounds delish!