You know, I get it. Me giving marriage advice is like, Tara Reid giving tips on sobriety. Or Kanye West give lessons on modesty. Or Jenna Jameson talking about the virtues of virginity.
I think I just compared myself to a porn star.
Let’s just move along.
As many of you know, the always lovely Renee is getting married. What you may not know is that she’s been my secret idol since she she met Chelsea Clinton and I may or may not have volunteered my life (more than once) to getting her into public office (Renee, not Chelsea). She’s the kind of girl I’m insanely jealous of- she’s funny and thoughtful and honest. She goes to see Billy Joel in concert and she fully understands any of my tweets that reference the movie “Rudy”. Plus? She watches “The West Wing” and knows how damn hot Josh Lyman is.
So when I was asked if I wanted to participate in a ‘virtual shower’, of course I said yes. I decided that although I may not be married, I know plenty of very lovely people who are and decided to ask them to open their knowledge basket and share what they thought made marriages last. Here are some of my favourite (direct quotes) from people I know (and people I wish I did) giving marriage advice.
1. “Always be the first person to say sorry. Not only will you look like the bigger person, but it’s great to bring up the next time you fight. It’s automatic leverage!” (I think this person was kidding).
2. “Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty”- Kevin Bacon
3. “Make it easy for him to remember why he married you” -G-pop (which? Was sort of a rip-off of another piece of advice he once gave me)
4. “Have sex in your friends bathroom”- Jada Pinkett Smith (okay, she said it differently, but I like my version better).
5. ” Be kind.”
I am so, so happy for Miss Renee and can’t wait to hear all about her married life. I wish her nothing but the very best and plenty of #4. Congratulations on getting married lovely!
That Kevin Bacon knows what it’s all about.
Word.
Kevin Bacon is awesome. And for serious, being kind is probably one of the most important and difficult, yet most overlooked. It was probably the best piece of advice I was given before I got married.
I need to work on kindness. I would kill someone for an air conditioner unit right now.
Oh Brandy, this is amazing advice lol Perfectly said, as always.
If Poodlegoose has already supported kindness, I guess that leaves bathroom sex for me. I’m okay with that!
I’m never going to look at Jada and Will the same.
Kevin Bacon is the shiznit.
Yes I’m a white girl who just wrote “shiznit.”
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Awww I love these virtual showers!
Me too!!
Excellent advice….especially about the bathroom sex. Thanks for participating!
Thanks for including me!
Yay virtual showers! I had one of these when I got married and I was so touched. What a sweet post!
I remember that. Man, the internet is a lovely place.
Brandy, you know you’re a girl after my own heart. I’m pretty sure I want to move to Canada to frolic with you. Thank you for this hilarious and touching post. I need to step up my bathroom sex.
I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and Josh Lyman)
I was going to say ‘when you do have bathroom sex, think of me’ but that was just going to be too creepy. Extra points also for using the word ‘frolic’.
I hope she takes lots of Kevin Bacon’s advice!
Ohh lordy, me too.
Renee – you can have sex in my bathroom anytime!
Doni, you have won the best person in the world award for that comment.
what a nice tribute!
Wellllll she’s a nice girl! ;)
Hahah, I like Kevin Bacon’s advice. I think I’ve heard it before but it’s almost funnier to see it in print!
I know! That saucy Kevin. If he wasn’t married….
I definitely like #2 tips! HAHAHAA. Kevin Bacon is a genius.
And he’s hot.
My best friend and her boyfriend actually got kicked out of our friends house for having sex in the bathroom, LOL
Maxie, this comment troubled me and left me thinking long and hard about how I would feel about people having sex in my bathroom. And you know, I’m for it. Because if I’m having sex in my friends bathrooms (I haven’t, but I COULD ONE DAY), I want to be able to. It’s all about the golden rule, you know?
I think I’d be a little grossed out if one of my friends was having sex in my bathroom. Seriously. I mean, a restaurant’s, sure. But not at my house….. I may not know to CLEAN IT the next day!!
What if it was your best friend? And she hadn’t gotten laid in forever? And brought you muffins the next day to say sorry?
Is that Kevin Bacon dude married? Haha
Sigh. Yes, yes he is.
Josh Lyman… totally hot.
Agreed!
Great tips!
This post was awesome and I think it’s lovely that you compared yourself to Jenna Jaimeson!
Ha, sex in our friends’ bathrooms is our secret fetish. Just make sure there are no baby monitors in there.
Advice: When it comes to time, hobbies, friends, physical space and money make sure you have yours, mine and ours. This will eliminate most fights before they start.
You’re officially my hero for the beginning of this post. LOVE IT!
It has been such a joy going through the blogosphere and reading these posts for Renee. They make me smile!