10 Reasons Why I’m Not A Famous Blogger

You  know, you’ve done it too. You find yourself with 10 minutes to spare, click ‘bookmarks’ and scroll down to a famous blogger you have bookmarked. I’m not talking famous in your world blogger, the kind that your particular blogger group, seems to have crowned homecoming king or queen, I’m talking about famous to the ENTIRE world blogger. The kind of blogger who has one name- and everybody knows it. You scroll down to their too hip for more than one syllable name, and click- waiting for that feeling of envy and happiness to rise up inside you, like it does whenever you read something so good you are angry at yourself for not thinking to write it first.

And you find yourself asking, “is that it?”.

Granted, every blogger- famous or not, has posts that they feel ‘meh’ about when they hit publish. Not every post is going to hit your g-spot when you are writing it- or your audiences when they read it. Sometimes you write to say what you have to say- and do so plainly, without transition sentences or similes or even a hint of a humor to win over the crowd. But I can’t help but notice that some of the famous to the whole world bloggers, seem to write just like you or I- (and so many of you write better than people who have book deals, this fuels a rage in me that cannot be quelled) and yet they are getting free flickr accounts appliances and book deals and 1.2 million followers on twitter.

Which sucks.

So, I decided that it has to be more than writing that makes a blogger famous. I’ve delved deep into the murky underworld of blogging and have come up with my top 10 reasons Why I’m not a famous blogger.

1.  I do not have a child who is adorable and let’s me dress her/him in etsy finds and take roughly 943054375648329576 pictures of her/him. Or a zany pet that teaches me life lessons on the regular.

2. For the longest time, I thought ‘bloggies‘ were like groupies. So I was confused when people talked about they wanted a ‘ bloggy’, I mean… sure, I get it. Everyone wants a following but it just seemed like a weird word. Later in life, I found out that a ‘bloggy’ is the name of prestigious blogging award.

3. I say things like “Which sucks.” And think that’s a valuable and articulate thought worth sharing with the universe.

4.  I take pictures like this (scroll down to see the masterpiece). There will never be an award winning photo on my blog. Ever. Although, let’s face it. Those shoes are so adorable they should win an award.

5. No one has changed my name into a verb (unlike Dooce).

6. I don’t cook. At all. I will never have a website that showcases pictures of the homemade mac n’ cheese I just whipped up with 129 rare ingredients. (This also won’t happen because of #4. Seriously though, The Pioneer Woman needs a new bloggie… bloggy? The woman can take a picture. Seriously, she could take a photo of a piece of celery smeared in dog poop and could make it look appetizing. THAT, my friends, is what we call a gift and deserves an award).

7. The idea of changing my masthead yearly monthly, makes me break out in hives.

8.  I do not have the ability to make all my current favourite things look pretty and organized like Whoorl (I’d also cut off all my limbs for her hair. Sure, I’d lack the arms to brush it, but it would be so alluring- people would volunteer for the honors).

9.  I don’t get google wave, I’m not hooked up to Brizzly, I haven’t purchased an iphone and I cross my fingers everytime I send a picture to twitter because there’s a 93% chance I didn’t send it correctly.

10. I write lists about why I’m not famous instead of complaining about the 4,593 comments I received for my last post.

Would you want to be a famous blogger?
Awesome pluses  to consider: Free stuff, getting paid to blog, a wider audience to ask for advice on topics that stump your brain.

Debbie Downers to consider: No privacy, wider audience = more negative feedback, pressure to write often, random strangers feeling like they have the right to tell you they hate your haircut.

58 comments to 10 Reasons Why I’m Not A Famous Blogger

  • Ben

    I hate that some bloggers make $40,000/month. That’s obscene. Especially when you’re exactly right, it’s pretty much just luck of the draw. They’re not much different from you and I.

    That being said, I get creeped out when I don’t control the message so having thousands of other bloggers talking about you would give me the heevey jeevies. Heeby jeebies? Beebee meebees?

    I’m sure the $40k/month takes the edge off that though.

  • A

    I am all about remaining a nobody blogger.

    If I were a famous blogger there would be no way that I could get away with writing about my family like I do. And they are the best (okay – only) material I have.

  • ha! you’re famous to me!
    i love reading you and i can be your “bloggy” following, haha

  • I don’t like the idea of being a properly famous blogger at all. I can’t imagine how it would effect your family, and honestly the mommy bloggers who post pictures of their kids all over the place? I kind of worry for their children? When does that end?

    I like having blog friends without the stalkers, pressure to keep going Above All Else, and obligation to tweet everything that goes on in my life. I like that blogging is opt in for me, not “if I stop, no one will hire me because I’ll attract too much weird press”.

    I’m also not famous because I call things lame constantly.

  • i totally read that as “getting LAID to blog” instead of “paid.”
    oops?
    the answer is still NO.

  • Tim

    Do you know how to draw cumstains on pictures of celebrites? I heard that can make you famous.

  • teabelly

    Heh, I am so glad I’m not the only one who’s thought that about famous bloggers. I have tried adding some to my reader and just get bored, they don’t speak to me at all. And I know (ie read) much more interesting and entertaining bloggers who aren’t well known in internetland. Not sure how it works. Maybe some of them are just because they’ve been doing it for so long?

    The downsides for me outweigh the pluses I think. Seems like more effort than it’s worth.

  • J

    I have low expectations. I’d be happy with a small circle of bloggers that I know well and who know me well and we enjoy commenting on each other’s blogs.

    I would hate to be a “famous” blogger although I might deal with it for 40K.

  • “Which sucks.” is perfectly fine prose to me.

    Yes, I’d love to be famous for the perks alone. However, every time I write a post I believe it will probably be my last, so maybe I don’t need that additional pressure?

  • I don’t like to be popular. I’ve already stated this in my blog recently, but I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I like being an introverted homebody. Plus, I’m super critical about myself, so if someone said something negative, I’d probably close the blog down in a heart-beat. I’m too sensitive, I guess. I really liked this post, because really… I get it.

  • Been there, had that thought. About a few in particular. But the Bloggess almost never fails to crack me up and I could never be her because I’m too stable and not on enough drugs.

    Instead I just write what I want, when I want, and try not to get too caught up in whether or not anyone is reading it.

  • Wait a minute… who gets paid $40K a month to blog? How does that work? Sign me up! I have no need for fame, but a big bag of money… I could find a use for that.

    But cereally folks, why do you blog? I’m blogging to try to solve a problem (getting rid of my head monkeys, who keep flinging poo in my brain). It seems to be working so far. But blogging to be famous seems… weird. If that’s your kick, go for it, I suppose….

  • Ha! Well atleast something made you famous!

  • HAHA! Loved this post. I want to be a verb, too! Don’t Julie Q that post… love it.

  • the ridiculous $40K a month is the ultimate draw, but to be perfectly honest, I’m too damn lazy to even think about getting famous.

    And being famous would suck nuts…but like everyone before me has said, $40K wouldn’t.

  • Um, I am going to say that I’m in the minority here. I LOVE teaching, but I love blogging. Getting paid for my words and stories and random crap? SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN.

  • Well, you are famous to me, so I’m biased. But no, I don’t think I’ve ever gunned for that. Either because it never occurred to me or because I’m lazy, or a combination of the two. Although when I see people getting book deals writing solely about the snack they had on a random Tuesday in March, I do have to wonder.

    All that said, a lot of the “famous” bloggers have inspired me to write better, take better pictures, and appreciate the good parts of the Internet community even more than I already do.

  • It’d be cool to be considered a “cool blogger” that people bookmark and hang to my every word, but I kinda like keeping it small, that way i can be real and not have to worry about pleasing my thousands of readers (if i was famous, that is).

  • As always, you are so right. Cool free stuff would be awesome. But feeling like you have to cater to certain people or groups, or censor yourself, not so cool. You end up paying for that free stuff in way or another.

    You are awesome. You make my days a little brighter. You are indeed like . . . mmmmagic. :)

  • I’d say 22 comments (so far) is pretty famous in my world. But I agree and I like your list.

  • Your famous to meee!
    And I am famous by association.
    Therefore, I am the Nicole Richie to your Paris Hilton.
    Or K-Fed to your Britney.
    Or something.

    And where do I sign up to write on the internet for 40 g a month? Seriously? Is that even legal?

  • Dude. You’re pretty fucking famous in my eyes.

    Booyah.

    I have to say, it’s more fun dropping f bombs on your blog because its so girly.. with all the lavender and what not. It makes me feel like more of a badass… and I realize I’ve turned this whole comment into ME but I dont care. Whatever.

  • I would hate to be a famous blogger. Only because I couldn’t handle the pressure of constantly having to be witty.

  • I just don’t think I could deal with the hate that comes your way when you’re a famous blogger. I’m a weakling. Also, re: your “which sucks” comment, I say things like, “It was interesting”; yeah, lot of substance there. I wouldn’t mind getting paid for my writing, though. I am definitely not above that!

  • i think you’re one of the most famous 20 something bloggers if that counts :)

    but yeah i think i wouldn’t mind be sorts kinda famous. not dooce famous but i wouldn’t mind having her picture taking and design skills, same with pioneer woman.

  • Kendall

    I deal with enough idiots in real life to want to leave myself open to them online. I’m quite happy with my small readership, thank you. Notability is VASTLY overrated.

    Although I must admit to agreeing on the Pioneer Woman front.

  • If you’re NOT famous, then I’m super not famous. Which MIGHT make me a Super Hero….

  • Rachel

    Just to reiterate what everyone above me said – if I have 10 extra minutes, I check your blog. And yes… the red polka dot shoes are the cutest ever.

    That’s all.

  • There are very few blogs I make sure to read on a regular basis…yours is one..

  • Melissa

    Um. You’re famous to me, first of all.
    And I think it’s funny that in your “Debbie Downers” section, you’ve included “random strangers feeling like they have the right to tell you they hate your haircut”.. MALLARD! Proof you’re famous. :) Who would’ve thought she’d be good for something?

  • Kez

    Haha great post. My ego would like me to be a famous blogger, but the free and easy part of me wouldn’t want it to become a job or chore.
    I do it for fun!

  • I think we should turn our names into verbs immediately. What would you want yours to mean??

  • Esz

    Great post! Loved it. I know I shall never become a famous blogger…art blogs are not the ones that get freebies or invites to fashion shows….the only famous art blogger I know is Igor & Andre and he is famous because he paints pictures of glamourous fashion models which pretty much puts him in the fashion blog category and thus he gets all the fancy pants invites etc.

    I guess its about whether you blog for a release of some sort or because you want the money. As with most creative pursuits, once you are doing it solely for the money, it changes the creative aspect entirely.

  • laura251

    You’re funnier than them and are far superior at using run on sentences in an amusing manner. Screw the etsy creations, your relatability makes you famous in my eyes. (I don’t think ‘relatability’ is even a word. Hence, I’m not famous).

  • “And you find yourself asking, “is that it?”.”

    I know exactly what you mean.

    Anyway, while I’m not entirely anonymous – as in I use my name, photos, people in real life know I have a blog – the fame thing would just be a way for people who dislike me to know more about my weaknesses. And I would HATE that.

  • I freaking love your lack of prose. If I wanted to read poetry, I’d buy a book. (And I do.) But, the thought of someone editing their posts to perfection irks me just a little. Anyone that has asked me about my blogging gets the same answer: it’s like my journal, but I happen to type faster than I write. Plus, there’s all that voyeurism that makes me feel a little less embarrassed on a daily basis.

    $40K a month is a pretty good incentive to write every day. I try and I used to be able to do that no problem, but lately… well I’m slacking. Big time. It’s a lot of pressure to feel like you’ve “earned” that much monthly. How exactly is that possible with just maintaining a blog?

    The point that I’ve been attempting to get to is that I like the non-famous, hidden treasures I find. I like developing a relationaship with (some) bloggers. Fame generally ends that kind of behaviour.

  • I don’t read many of the super bloggers because I like to believe that blogging is a community. There are so many comments on the blogs and so little interaction (unless it’s a rant about someone who left comments they didn’t like) that I don’t feel like it’s a blog. It’s more like a masturbatory web site.

  • Who invented that “change your header every month” shit anyway? Is there a list of things famous bloggers have to do? Listen people, LET’S HAVE A LITTLE STABILITY HERE, OKAY?

    Really and truly I think “meduim” is the best place to be in the blogosphere. 1.) The hate comments are kept to a minimum 2.) Sometimes people you offer free things to give away to people you like (not the 10,000 crazies who follow you because they might win a Kitchenaid mixer) and 3.) You still get love from a good group of people who follow your blog because they like you, not because you’re famous.

  • I think that a lot of it is luck, just like musicians who “make it.” The photography and design skills are huge pluses in the blog world, neither of which I have even close to mastering.

  • I just did a post about this a few weeks ago! I was getting all frustrated with not getting a whole lot of traffic so I wrote a post about why I’m not a famous blogger either :)

    http://fuchsiag.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/who-really-likes-being-stuck-in-traffic-anyway/

    I do like your blog though – I’ll be reading from now on, so you’re a little bit more famous :)

  • lisa

    I couldn’t put up with the hate comments. I can’t believe the things that people say about Dooce and Pioneer Woman. Oh Lord, and that stupid “Poop on Peeps” blog. There’s a whole blog just to shit on them! WTF??? What kind of person does that????

    I loved Pioneer Woman’s photography at first, but it’s driving me a bit crazy lately. I love her, but her instructional shots could use a little less of the wide aperture “artsy” touch to them. Food shots with only a tiny bit clear makes me sad; if I can’t eat the food, or really see the food, it’s just a mean tease! ;-)

  • BS

    No fucking way.

    [I just drop f-bombs because it's fun, nothing to do with your lavender-ness.]

    I’m not half as anonymous as I’d like to be as a blogger and with fame comes private investigators and stuff. Also, probably hate mail.

  • I’d LOVE to be an (in)famous blogger. Whenever I make it to one of my bloggy heroes blogrolls I still get all starry-eyed.

    But I lack the adorable childrens, interesting job, fantastic cooking skillz and writing style to be anything but a small-time blogger. I’m trying to learn to be ok with that.

    The day I have 50 readers of my blog, I will be in 7th Heaven!

  • The summer of 2007, I ventured to Chicago for BlogHer. Halfway through a seminar talking about how to boost your readership, I walked out. First off, the woman speaking has a cooking blog and gets something like a million hits a week. I neither cook nor know how to write a recipe. And second, the room was bursting at the seams with bloggers eager to learn the secret (me included, who was cramped in a corner on the floor, far from an outlet and the screen displaying a colorful powerpoint). Suddenly I felt like I was part of a cult. I walked out because I realized that blog fame doesn’t have a formula. The best you can do is be true to yourself and hopefully the rest will follow.

    PS: I see Dooce the same way I see Perrier and running, two things I for which I will never understand the appeal. But you, my dear, I can’t get enough of.

  • Nah, not interested in being a famous blogger because that would mean I would have to wear sunglasses and speak publicly… neither of those things are talents of mine.

    You run a good blog and that’s all one can ask.

  • nic

    Sometimes I think so. I think, yeah, that’d be awesome to be one of THOSE bloggers. The thing is, I don’t think that’s the type of thing you just set out to be, you know? And I think what I really want is to know that people like me for what I write because to me that IS me. I don’t know how a person can ever really know something like that on a blog. Is it number of comments? Is it referrals? Is it page views? Does it mean you have to be a One-Name-Blogger? I don’t really know. Something about the idea of it though makes me not want to push for more than my writing brings on its own.

  • Reasons you’re famous in my world:

    1. Your posts are insanely good/funny/thought-provoking 100% of the time. No, I’m not even kidding. Every single post that I’ve read around here has totally inspired me.

    2. You excel at witty banter, and because of that you are my imaginary BFF.

    3. You are too legit to quit. (Actually, I don’t know why I wrote that just now. It sounded good in my head.)

    4. You have so many readers that adore you and would probably wear a t-shirt that said “It’s like, I’m…mmmagic!” on it. HEY! Good idea for an etsy shop! Mua-ha. Do it.

    5. You’re one of those people who totally made my heart twirl around I realized you actually read my blog. I found your blog through The Lisa Show (she doesn’t blog anymore, meanie) and I remember finding you and being immediately intimidated by your greatness.

    So…yeah. You don’t need a book deal. Or amazing photos of celery smeared in dog poop. You’re still one of my favorites EVER! It’s truuuue!

    (I should win a bloggy for longest-comment-in-all-of-humanity. Amen.)

  • PS: I went back and read Tim’s comment (#6) and totally giggled. Because it is totally hilarious. And totally accurate. But mostly because I want to punch Perez Hilton in the face.

  • Oh my god, you have 50 comments on a post about not being a famous blogger. FIFTY! You are totally famous. Or semi-famous, at least. I don’t know what makes a blogger famous but FIFTY! Anyway, hi. I have stumbled upon your blog for the first time and I like it! I’m Canadian, too. Peace out, homedizzle.

  • Haha you crack me up! I feel the same way about my blog… I keep asking myself WHY AM I NOT FAMOUS YET!

  • dufmanno

    You passed the 50 comment mark so you just flew into the upper stratosphere as far as I’m concerned. Am I allowed to award you a “Bloggy” or does someone with an esteemed title need to do it?

  • Would it help you feel famous if I told you that when I read this post, I totally didn’t scan.

  • dazey2

    i love this post. i have frequently fantasized about being a famous blogger, myself… at least famous enough to be known throughout my city. -And some of my friends are that well known, blog-wise, which I guess still gives me hope. Yet sometimes I’m glad I’m not that famous, because then I’m pretty sure I’d feel the pressure to write a fantastic post every day. No thanks. Sometimes I can’t help but write something that very few people care about, like how I needed a new coffee table in my apartment.

  • This is hysterical! I just found your blog through a post on another blog. Very funny! :)

Leave a Reply

  

  

  

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>