Tell Me I’m Normal

1. When I go to Starbucks,  I become irrationally worried that I’m going to forget my order. I will spend the entire time stuck in the drive thru saying my order on repeat.  But attempting to say it casually as well, so I don’t come off as a *robot. (Because yes, that’s a serious concern I have- people mistaking me for a robot). “Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate, Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate. Why yes, it IS cold out today. Oh you like my hair? Thank you! What would I like? Oh that’s easy, Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate”.

2. Not only do I practice my order- I routinely practice conversations with people who will only end up saying ” That’s $4.04- have a nice day” to me. They do not compliment my hair.

3. Strangers not taking an intense interest in my appearance sometimes disappoints me.

4. If wearing a white shirt and eating spaghetti, I sometimes give myself a pep talk beforehand. Ie: ” I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.“. As in, I can eat a meal without it getting on my shirt. I’ve yet to achieve this goal. Is it just me or does the chance of food falling significantly increase if a) wearing white b) wearing your  favourite shirt or c) trying to impress someone?).

5. I will do a personality to quiz over and over until I get the result I want. And then I will act completely surprised that I got what I wanted. (Note: I never end up being labeled “someone who manipulates quizzes to get the desired result because they have an enormous ego”. Thankfully. That would be weeeeird.).

6. I think about the new Harry Potter movie everyday.

7.  I cannot have more than 20 emails in my inbox at once. Any more and I succumb to a nuclear meltdown and end up lying on the floor, breathing into a paper bag willing myself to rest my wary and exploding head. Emails have to be immediately responded to, archived or deleted. I have no idea when this habit started of being a 20 emails only freak- or why it’s 20 and not 30 or 50 (just typing 50 made me shudder), but it’s 20. On the plus side, if I tell someone “hey, your email? STILL IN MY INBOX!” it’s one of the biggest compliments I can give. Unfortunately people don’t know that I only keep 20 in there and consider me a tool for letting them know that I have kept their email. Sad face.

8. If people say they don’t like “The West Wing”, I just assume they are confusing it with another show. I really, honestly cannot comprehend someone not liking that show. Such an event is just… nope, I can’t stretch my brain around it.

9. Speaking of television, I miss the show “Felicity” in big and important ways that make my 28 year old self ashamed.

10. If someone hurts my feelings, I’m not a yeller. Or fighter, really. I just… stop talking. And I can’t look at them. I turn into a submissive, mumbling, avoider. But if someone hurts my friends feelings? I will stomp on you. And your soul. And your mamma.

11. I have yet to finish reading a beauty magazine and feel BETTER about myself, yet every month I wait dutifully for new magazines to come out so I can take them home, caress their pages and feel as though my life is incomplete because I don’t own a skirt that costs more than my car. And university education.

12. I have probably 40 pairs of earrings. 20 bottles of nail polish. The most complex set of hot rollers ever. And everyday I wear the same earrings, with clear nails and straight hair. (I blame my need to purchase these items directly on #11)

13. I can justify any purchase. Any purchase. I have a friend who calls me when she wants to buy something but can’t talk herself into it. 10 minutes with me and I will have her whipping out her wallet and getting it in two colors.

14. I don’t get the cupcake craze. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like cupcakes. (What’s not to like? Icing? Cake? Sprinkles? Sign me up!) But there’s this.. intensity around cupcakes that I don’t quite follow. If a cupcake is around, sure- **I’ll eat it, but I’d always rather have sour patch candy. DO NOT STONE ME.

15. Every. Single. Time. I hit “publish”, I have an irrational fear that no one will read my post. I’m not worried about comments, I just has this moment of panic where I think “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND NAMED RYAN REYNOLDS! WHAT IF NO ONE STUMBLES ON MY BLOG AND READS MY DEEP THOUGHTS REGARDING NON-FAT, NO WHIP HOT CHOCOLATE? WILL MY LIFE HAVE MEANING? HOW WILL I DEFINE MYSELF? WHERE WILL MY SOUL GO WHEN I DIE?”.

* I really wanted to say ‘cylon’ but was fully aware that only 3% of you would have got that reference.

** Or maybe I won’t eat it. Today I ran into a parent who I hadn’t seen in over a year. Her exact words to me “Oh, brandy! Hi there. I almost didn’t recognize you. You look so much… fuller”. FULLER. FULLER. Why, the hell would you use those words?! FULLER? Sigh. Between that and the beauty magazines, I’m feeling the size of a Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade float. When I’m wearing all the same clothes I wore last year. Ladies and gentlemen, just… let’s put it out there. NEVER use the word ‘FULLER’ to describe a girl. (Although H.A.D., bless his heart, continues to insist that ‘FULLER’ means ‘RADIANT’, we both know THAT’S NOT WHAT IT MEANS).

And yes, I’m sorry for all the CAPS ATTACK but it was necessary today.

102 comments to Tell Me I’m Normal

  • nic

    Fuller = Radiant. Love it!

    And yes, OF COURSE, you’re normal. But you’re also fancy….and kind…and funny…and a blogger who will always be read so don’t despair! :)

  • Yeah… “fuller”….not so much. Along with “husky” and “zaftig”, not on the list of things anyone (well female anyones) really want to be called.

    #4 = the reason I own no light coloured garments. My chest seems to demand feeding at every meal. ESPECIALLY if it will leave a stain before an important meeting.

    #10 – Yep, that’s totally me.

    #14 – I really dig cupcakes but was online the other day and found a cupcake shop that sells them for THREE DOLLARS APIECE (sorry, but $3 for A cupcake demands caps…) for $3, that cupcake had better subtract at least an inch from my waistline.

  • I’m totally going with H.A.D’s description. Surely she meant “fulfilled” rather than “fuller.”

  • you are totally normal. i would never be able to remember that coffee order. i always spill on my clothes that are not black or navy blue. all those other things too- i can definitely relate in one way or another.
    although i wouldn’t call myself normal, i like to say i am unique.

  • I do the exact same thing @ Starbucks. That place is intimidating, man. Because if you fuck it up, the barista corrects you as he calls the drink, and then gives you that LOOK. You know, the I am so superior than you because I know how to properly order a freaking coffee look?

    And cupcakes? I’m glad they’re in, but sorry I’m just not willing to spend $4 on one. A $4 cupcake better give me a full -body orgasm.

  • Erin

    My fear with spaghetti is not getting it on my white shirt because I never wear white for that reason. My fear is that it is almost guaranteed I will get it all over my face and glasses only to find it much much later after social interaction.
    I don’t get the cupcake crazy either. Now if it was a sour candy craze, I’d be all over that.
    I do the same thing with earrings and nail polish. I am trying to start wearing different earrings more often.

  • I’ve learned that I’m not a yeller unless my integrity is challenged. Then, it’s so on. Also? I have sour patch kids in my purse. I’ll share :)

  • Oh, you just put a smile on my face, missy!
    You write beautifully. I am so happy I discovered your blog.
    I am kind of scared of having a stutter attack in front of the guy/gal at the coffee shop.
    Not a big fan of cupcakes either. I think the obsession with cupcakes came with the crazy number of blogs that were born in the last few years. Suddenly everybody posts pictures of cupcakes, suddenly everybody loves them… Can’t understand that!

  • Maybe your hair is fuller? Perhaps you have been using those rollers in your sleep!

  • I am currently making my way through all of Felicity again. I love it. And there are people who don’t like The West Wing? That’s impossible. Hands down my favorite show. It’s like crack for the nerdy political scientist hiding inside me.

  • All these things sound completely normal to me. I definitely practice conversations with people, all. the. time. And sometimes I miss Felicity too!

  • Oh my gosh, we have the same Starbucks order. I’ve NEVER met someone else with my order. We are soulmates (not in a creepy way)

  • fuller?! did you say ‘you look so much more ugly, fucker’?! omg!

    and in response to #11 . . . the day will come when you will just laugh at these magazines and feel like you could give better advice, etc. i promise.

  • Number 6. Right there with ya.

  • So I pretty much do all of the above so of course you are normal! I may have even started attacking my gmail inbox after getting inspired (you are the third person to tell me about this archiving function. I must make use of it, along with labels. My inbox is OUT OF CONTROL.)

    And fuller? REALLY?

  • I totally rehearse my drive-thru orders in my head. And then I have to make sure I sound breezy. (You know, like Monica on Friends. “I’M BREEZY!”)

    Also, the thing I hate about cupcakes, is that you need to eat them very carefully or you end up mashing frosting all over your face. And that, my friend, is just not very graceful at all.

  • #4 I have a work skirt that I have spilled my lunch on, without fail, everyday that I have worn it to work.

    A button broke off it the other day, and I am considering not fixing it for this very reason.

  • I’m a fan of cupcakes. In fact that’s my new year’s resolution: eat more cupcakes. If it was just a basic cupcake, I wouldn’t be so into it. But I go for the unique ones… beautifully crafted treats… Pheobe’s here in Chicago is one of my favorite’s… AND only $2.50 regardless of however fancy or filled or whatever it is. I like the Key Lime and the Rootbeer Float. :) Oh! And the Bleeding Heart Raspberry from Halloween was awesome too. ooooohhhh.. I need a cupcake….

    Chicago also has a gourmet donut shop too. I’m interested in it.. but apparently it’s like $4… and that’s crazy.

  • I can’t confirm that you’re normal, but I can confirm that you’re just like me.

    1. Because I over-think my Starbucks order (skinny hazelnut latte), I sometimes confuse myself, stutter and order the first thing that my eyes alight on the menu. This is how I ended up with a peppermint white chocolate mocha, which I liked until my room-mate pointed out that it tasted like warm toothpaste. Which it did.
    2. I have been guilty of fighting with people in my head, then forgetting if the fight was real or not.
    4. It’s not just you.
    5. I believe that re-taking online IQ tests makes me smarter.
    7. If I can’t see an email in my preview display, I will never respond to it.
    8. Ditto.
    9. Ditto to the power of my 35 year old self.
    10 – 15 more of the same… except for cupcakes. I think you must be confusing cupcakes with some other delicious baked good, because who couldn’t love a cupcake?

  • I’ve never met a person who doesn’t love The West Wing. So I have to agree with you.

  • If I am in a restaurant and about to order, the menu must be open and my pointer must be touching what I want to order. God forbid I close the menu, my mind will go completely blank, and I will have to reopen the menu to order. Every. single. time.

  • Jen - tsk

    I think you were writing about me for numbers 1, 10 and 13!! Sometimes the most irrational things seem completely normal!!

  • I have the same fear that I will forget my Starbuck’s order, so I always repeat it to myself in line. I don’t go to Starbuck’s much anymore, but I was there over Christmas break and I didn’t think about my order at all until I was right at the register and I couldn’t remember it! I finally spit something out and then felt like an idiot (because somehow I associate ordering coffee at Starbucks with ease as being cool), which has only increased my fear.

  • I am always terrified that no one will read my blog posts. I would literally fill up with joy and die if I ever recieved more than 12 comments on any single post. Then I would hold myself to that standard and be all upset and emo if I ever got less.
    It’s terrible, because I am a terrible blogger.

    I have all 4 series of Felicity on DVD. Series 2-4 had to be shipped to me from America because they were never released in Australia.

  • I have considered purchasing Felicity on DVD just to rewatch it because it was such a FANTASTIC show. It may sink me lower into my “I’m not in college anymore” depression (I’m 28, I should be over it) but I think it would totally be worth it. They just don’t make shows like that anymore!

  • laura251

    I just think you should know that you have introduced the phrase “CAPS ATTACK” into my vocabulary. Feel special!

  • Based on my current new profession, I’m going to ignore #14. It’s thanks to this craze that I’ve been so successful.

    As for #11 – this is why I stopped subscribing to Cosmo & Glamour and all those girly mags and now currently subscribe to The Food Network magazine. I always feel better – and happy – after reading this!

  • SM

    Dammit. That last comment was me. Stupid WordPress.

  • I love Starbuck’s vanilla rooibos tea, but for the longest time I couldn’t prounce it. Last month I googled how to pronouce it before my Starbucks visit and practiced saying it all the way to the store. I ordered it like a pro, then the cashier “CORRECTED” the pronunciation by saying it completely wrong. I was like, “it’s actually pronouced “roy-boss,” but I wasn’t about to tell her that the only reason I knew taht was because I had googled and practiced it for the last 20 minutes.

    All that effort, and it wasn’t even appreciated!

  • I know you’re not a tool. :) And number 8, along with several others, but especially number 8, is why we are what we are (i.e. friends, buddies, blog friends, Internet-crossed BFFs, MFEO, whatever).

  • ohh fuller? that is just not nice, thats like when i ran into an old highschool teacher and he said “Hey…you look…healthy?”

  • I am exactly the same way about email. My work email inbox must only have things in progress or nothing in it, everything else is moved to a folder based on the email content or sender.
    Oh and if you ever decide to part with all that unused nail polish and earrings please send them my way…I am totally obsessed. Especially if the earrings are big!

  • you’re totally normal. or else we’re both abnormal together, because im right there with you on so many of these.
    god i miss felicity and BEN. scott speedman you really make a girl swoon.

  • I’m with you on the beauty magazines making you feel worse. Every time I put one down I’m filled with thoughts of “my hair is so embarrassing,” “why can’t I afford a Chanel minidress?”, and “my nail beds suck.”

    Also with you on cupcakes. I’d rather have cheesecake or creme brulee, if anything, for dessert.

  • #9 – hallelujah! i didn’t know anyone else felt this way too!!
    #10 – absolutely, me too. i can’t even make eye contact with someone who’s hurt my feelings
    #12 – i have every size curling iron, every set of hot rollers for anything you’d want to do. i probably curl my hair 3x a year these days.

    and there would be something wrong if the world didn’t read your posts… they’re just so liberating!

  • #7 – I am right there with you…all my emails have to be ‘read’ and I almost have a panic attack if my inbox page is full of ones that haven’t been opened. I am also neurotic at responding back, immediately, like my life depended on it or system break down! LOL! Then I delete it. No better closure than having it off the ‘list’!

  • Ben

    I’m meh about cupcakes. I’d rather have cookies. Dozens and dozens of cookies.

  • Fuller? really? Wow.
    And I’m right there with you in 14 and 15.
    People keep asking me if I’m doing cupcakes for the wedding. I keep telling them that under no circumstances will those bastards be in attendance. Stupid little cakes. I’ve never really been a fan. They’re too big to eat in one bite and two small to really use a fork so I never know what to do and end up dropping peices everywhere or looking like a complete fat kid shoving cake into my face.
    Down with cupcakes.

  • dear sweet baby jesus, I hope Brandy is normal, because I don’t want to think of the what ifs. Felicity, owning beauty products & magazines you’ll never use, fudging personality quizzes, defending a friend but not yourself, 20 emails in your email account (mine is less, but that’s not the issue.) and I love your posts, I read them all even if I don’t comment all the time.

  • I identify with many of these. I don’t get the cupcake craze either. They are good but I prefer cake. The frosting is more evenly distributed. Why are there not more cake by the slice stores? I freak out about emails too. Currently I have 38 unread messages in my inbox and I am going a little crazy.

    Thank you for posting this list. Oh by the way, about the pep talk and starbucks thing. I give myself pep talks and walk myself through conversations and orders ALL THE TIME.

    We are normal. right?

  • I’ve been watching all The West Wing episodes with my boyfriend who is as obsessed with the show as you are. So far I love it! :)
    He was a little weirded out that I knew who Josh Lyman was, but I knew who he was because of your blog! LOL!

  • I agree with… most of these, actually. Heh.

    My dad didn’t want to watch The West Wing, but I made him start, and now he has watched the whole thing AND informed me that he would like the theme music played at his funeral, please.

  • Staci

    I’m 45 and can totally relate to much of what you’ve written (cupcakes, “fuller”, too many beauty accessories, etc.). Please don’t let this make you feel old, because I still feel like I’m 30. The main thing I wanted to say is that “hallelujah!” someone else over the age of 11 loves Sour Patch candy. Again, I’m 45, and I’d take it over a cupcake any day of the year.

    Write on — we’ll keep reading!

    S~

  • Staci

    P.S. If you saw my Inbox, you’d have convulsions. I’ve got to do something about it, but I’m afraid of it.

  • JP

    If they didn’t get the Cylon reference than… well there’s no saving them.

  • I’m not sure if it is “normal” but I am right there with you on the email inbox thing. I operate my inbox like a to-do list. I get anxious if I have unread emails or too many in the inbox at one time. Everything is responded to, deleted, or filed away. I’m a compulsive organizer though.

  • good grief, you’re funny! thanks for the laugh!

    Em

  • Amy

    I totally repeat my Starbucks order in my head over and over again so I sound totally cool and like I’ve been there a billion times.

    Venti, Caramel Frapp Light, No Whip :) yum!

  • FULLER? That B**ch! How rude!!!

  • I agree with H.A.D. completely. If people “accidentally” call me fat, it equals fluffy. And if they say something eloquent like, “what a bitch”…they actually mean “she’s so awesome”. The point is, self justification works and normal is overrated.

    Sidebar: #10 makes every other point not matter. When you’re that loyal of a friend? Do what you want!

  • sarahdotcom

    I’m gonna find you a “Which BB2/Allstars houseguest are you?” quiz and you won’t even have to do it more than once to determine you are Will.

    Also, I’m with HAD. It would be waaack for someone to describe you and NOT use the word radiant. So yeah, Mrs. Mother Lady was probably just using some weird parent terminology that we (thankfully) do not yet understand. Or she’s jealous. Cause Lord KNOWS jealousy really messes with your vocab.

  • I think it is absolutely possible that I have even more earrings than you do. I sometimes buy five new pairs at once. And I hate how disorganized they are all in one box. It takes forever to find two matching ones.

    P.S. I would have gotten the cylon reference. ;)

  • #3 – HA! this is so me especially if I’m having a good hair day and managed to put together a cute outfit.

    Ditto on #4, #8, #13.

  • #10? TOTALLY me.

    will you like me less if i tell you that i have never seen an episode of the west wing in my life? i feel like between you and nicole forever obsessing about it… i should probably work on this.

  • I’m a fan of the inbox! I cannot let e-mail go unanswered either, and honestly sometimes with the amount of e-mails that I send that go unanswered, I feel like I have a bit of a sickness. I’m glad that I’m not the only one!

  • #4- so true.
    #5- doesn’t everyone do that? ;)
    #6- i *heart* harry potter. umm, i think i even have a house badge on my FB profile. i’m 26. weird? meh..
    #7- ditto. sour patch kids>cupcakes, anyday

  • I don’t think I’ve ever come across a post who’s tags were longer than the actual text…this one came close though! Hehe!

    When I post something, I worry about comments too. It doesn’t help that I’ve been combining my various blogs and I realized that in two years my readership has been slashed in half. Considering I didn’t have a huge amount of readers to begin with-that’s really depressing.

  • I overthink ANY order, and love having imaginary conversations with strangers.

  • I have conversations with people in my head ALL THE TIME. And who doesn’t practice their order in the Starbucks line. They practically invented a new language.

    I never read fashion magazines any more, but I still have a drawer full of makeup and a jewelry box full of jewelry and at least FOUR curling irons, two sets of hot rollers, two sets of spongy rollers, and my CHI (my prized possession). I rarely wear makeup. I rarely bother to fix my hair. I NEVER curl my hair.

  • NTE

    I don’t know about normal, but you’re an awful lot like me.

  • Kristen

    I repeat things over and over so I can remember them. One time I was with a friend and he asked me to remember something for him and I started repeating it over and over out loud and he could hear me and he kind of looked at me funny, but when he needed to know what it was I totally remembered. And I practice conversations with people in my head.

  • 3 – so with you on that!!!

    7 – if you saw my inbox in work, you would have a fit!

  • You are totally normal. Harry Potter is something that should be thought about everyday. West Wing and Felicity were both brilliant. But…cupcakes are really good.

  • I have the same email problem. this morning they were pouring in my inbox at work and I was panicing like crazy.

  • i can’t have more than 25 emails in my inbox, i throw everything into folders, i get freaked out if there are too many, haha. and as for the west wing, i may not love it or have seen every episode but whenever it’s on repeats or matt throws on episodes i am always intrigued, it’s hard not to be.

  • You are fuller of life!

    Or…something.

    Number 11? My mom didn’t let us get beauty magazines when I was in high school.

    I hid a few, but mostly – I think she was really, really smart and helped me avoid any (MORE) body image issues.

    Thank you, Mom.

    And I tried your drink! Today! Except I’m pretty sure they thought I meant a white chocolate mocha because I’m feeling suspiciously caffeinated.

    And! Last thing – you OBVIOUSLY have a rapt audience here. So stop worrying, silly! I’m pretty sure you could make just about anything eloquent or hilarious.

    Dude! You’re the female, blogging version of Barack Obama.

  • You’re normal. Or at least you qualify under my definition of normal.

    Also, “fuller” is up there with people asking you if you’re “tired” or “stressed”. JUST TELL ME I LOOK LIKE DEATH WARMED UP AND BE DONE WITH IT!!!

  • I hate the Starbucks ordering thing, ever since I read that people who order with lots of variables are high maintenance. So what if I want a “venti non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte, no whip, with an extra shot of espresso?” Thank God they just started calling it the Skinny Vanilla Latte. I can show my face again.

  • I gotta say, you’re one of my favorite bloggers. My day always gets a little bit brighter when I check your blog and see a new post!

  • Brandy, I just found your blog over the last month and I love it. So don’t worry no one will read your thoughts! (I am, however, convinced no one reads mine, haha.)
    I also miss Felicity, practice Starbucks (skinny decaf Cinnamon Dolce Latte – the term “skinnny” as opposed to “fat free, sugar free” has been helpful!), and obsessively await the next Harry Potter installment.
    You’re normal. And awesome. :-)

  • I, too, can justify any purchase, which is not a good thing. Do they have a Justifiers Anonymous group we can join?

  • I ALWAYS get nervous ordering at Starbucks and repeat my order in my head. Even though I almost always get a tall skim nonfat latte.

  • If all those items classify you as abnormal, then know that you surely aren’t alone. I related to each one of those items.

    I’m a cupcake fan. I mean I don’t really love cake, but the idea that I could virtually taste a different cake in such a small portion just floors me. And by floors me, I do mean turns me into a puddle of goo.

    Is it sad that I’m a part of the 3% that knows what “cylon” refers to?

    I loved your list and I feel as if I should follow it. Maybe it stems from the fact that I love lists. Yeah, I’m gonna go with that.

  • Hey Brandy!

    I was just on Liz’s blog and went to donate… each time I click on next it brings up the page to fill your details in again… blank though.

    Thought I’d let you know, in case you wanna test it out. Would love to donate.

  • Kim

    I am with you on so many of these…especially the white shirt/spaghetti one. I’m notorious for dropping things on myself. I’ve ruined many a good shirt that way.

  • ummm. amazing.
    1. i can’t drink a beer without spilling on myself. it’s impossible. srsly.
    2. i REALLY miss felicity, and I blogged about missing it last week, and people didn’t care…wtf
    3. i too, get kinda pissed when no one notices me in public…oh vanity
    4. i too, own 459749 bottles of polish and 95874985 earrings, and i rotate between 4 colors of polish, and three pair of earrings.
    5. i can also justify EVERY.SINGLE.PURCHASE. it’s sick really.

  • I feel like more than 3% of us would’ve got the cylon remark

    We all know that fuller = radiant, I thought that was common knowledge? Or maybe you were emaciated before? We your readers believe the best of you.

  • Hello, first time commenter, sorta long time lurker.

    I have always rehearsed my order before I order things to eat or drink and the habit has gotten SO MUCH WORSE since I moved to a country where I don’t speak the language. Even though ordering things is probably the easiest thing to do in Lithuania, I always find myself when I walk up to the kiosk for cigarettes (this happens daily) thinking “prashom cigarechiu, prashom cigarechiu….”

    It’s silly, and I am so glad that someone else does the same :)

  • trinity2

    Yeah, you have 80+ comments and you worry about #15 ?? Gimmie a break….

  • THE WEST WING is the greatest most wonderful show ever created. And Josh Lyman is my true love. Also, I too, used to lack understanding for the love of the cupcake but then I moved to DC and went to stores that sell ONLY cupcakes. These are not normal cupcakes like from a box or made in bulk in someone’s kitchen. These cupcakes are gourmet and taste like nothing you’ve ever had before! The icings are elegant and delicious, the cakes so succulent and exotic… ok I’ll stop. But the BEST part about them is that you just buy one… and then there is no massive guilt from eating half a cake (or the whole cake…).

    PS I don’t know you but XOXO

  • Starbucks is a troubling experience. It’s like they purposefully set out to make their menu has difficult to understand and remember as possible. There are so many combinations and “Starbucks Slang” to learn, it’s almost impossible not to forget your order!

  • HAHAHA. This is the funniest thing I have read since I can relate to almost all of these.

    1 and 2 – I always have to practice my order. And I always order the same thing. A tall, non-fat, vanilla latte (iced if it is summer). I have ordered the same thing for the last 4 years, and yet I am still petrified that I will screw it up.

    4 – I’m not capable of eating anything without getting it on myself. My boyfriend has tried to bib me before…. and that’s not some kinky sexual thing.

    12 – I am guilty of impulse purchases. I wear my hair straight every day, only paint my nails on special occasions (mostly because I bite my nails and there’s no point in painting ripped little nubs) and yet last month I spent $300 on nail polishes, manicure tools, and 3 pairs of fake eyelashes from Sephora. Let me reiterate that… 3 pairs of fake eyelashes. This then segues perfectly into # 13

    13 – Well I clearly needed 3 DIFFERENT pairs of fake eyelashes because they are all different thicknesses and lengths. And I completely need 3 nail polishes in variations of dark purple. What if I’m in a “Lincoln Park after Dark” mood and I DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT COLOR!? Don’t even ask me about the Victoria’s Secret Semi-Annual Sale Debacle.

    And lastly, a man once told me that I reminded him of a combination of Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Ritchie with the figure of Britney Spears (This was 2007… her head shaving days). I think this man must have hated me, because those were the cruelest words I’ve heard to this day.

  • I read your posts. They’re awesome.

    SO ARE CAPS.

  • [...] Some people get 80+ comments actually WORRY when they hit the publish button that no one will read her posts. Well, I read, Brandy, so don’t you worry your pretty head about it any.more. [...]

  • Your blog is amazing. I just wanted to say.

  • You are totally normal. I hope. ^_^

  • My work email inbox never rises above twenty for the exact reasons you described. I’m a bit more…flexible on my home email inbox, wherein “flexible” mostly means “too preoccupied to deal with it directly.”

    While I am beyond psyched for the next Harry Potter cinematic installment, I’m currently obsessing over the first Percy Jackson movie, which comes out February 13th. I fell in love with the series (young adult by Rick Riordan; it’s like HP but with Greek Mythology and heroes/demigods instead of magic/witches…), and cannot wait! to see the movie.

  • sid

    Ha. I miss Felicity too. I think about that show quite often.

  • You are so funny ;) Thanks for the giggles

  • Unfortunately, in this world, that IS normal. The fear of being rejected or judged has become an everyday worry for many of the people on this planet. Just let the fears go, do everything for what you like and want, and it’s going to be ok ;)
    At least on the internet, on faceless and nameless and mostly copyrightless (and moneyless :( ) blogs, we have become equal and can say and do what we wish and what we really have inside.

  • OMG do I ever FEEL YOU on the whole emails thing! I am a non-stop reading, responding, flagging, archiving, deleting machine. Especially with my work emails. My goal at the end of the day is to have 5 or less emails just sitting in my inbox. And that’s usually because those are ones that I just haven’t found the time to get back to. My boss always asks me to check her email for her when she’s traveling and she routinely has 1,000+ emails in there. And I? Always feel a melt-down coming on. Seriously, HER email stresses ME out.

  • 1. And 2. At the starbucks by work, the lady gets mad at me for not ordering the same thing every day. At the drive thru starbucks on my way home, generally after night classes, the guy insist on asking me at least 5 questions. Does he really care how my day was or does he really need to know where I work?
    7. My inbox at work has 429 items, most of which came this week and need some sort of response. I would like to duck and cover so they can all disappear.
    15. I’m pretty sure no one reads my blog expect one of my friends.

  • I can’t make phone calls to anyone without rehearsing what I’ll say first. It doesn’t matter who it is – a friend or a business or a doctor’s office. I just have to practice. And yet still, I end up sounding all awkward and goofy anyway.

  • OMG, we’re cosmic twins. Seriously. Please pass the Sour Patch Kids?

  • Totally normal. And I definitely would have got the cylon reference. Whats up with that show being so amazing and me just now discovering it? AND IT ONLY HAS FOUR SEASONS.

    Thoughts on the new Caprica show on SyFy?

  • I am SO with you on #12. I love accessories, beauty products and even clothes. But, I will also attempt to find the PERFECT piece of jewellery, shirt or whatever and then want to wear it daily. I have no idea where this comes from as I don’t read magazines.

    I’d say I’m worse off than you.

    (P.S. I’m fairly certain everyone agrees with #15. It’s the blog life, no?)

  • Totally #7. I can’t have even 20 though. I like it completely empty. And so when a friend sends a loooong email, I keep there it my inbox to hound myself to reply and the only reason I reply is to make the inbox back to 0. Added benefit: it makes me great at keeping in touch with people!

  • Ooh I’m #100! Something must be good about that.

    #4 – I have this issue w/ any pasta and red sauce or more often when I eat pho. Because pho is delicious.. and I have to have sri racha and plum sauce all over it. And inevitably, I’m always wearing white.

    #8 and #9 – Yes to both, fully agree. Also, I feel #8 when talking about Studio 60 and I’m sad it didn’t stay on for longer. It was like West Wing for me – but you know, for actors. Also Felicity just got a little weird near the end for me.. still have fond memories. Like what DID happen to Scott Speedman? Dude.. he was so pretty. Someone needs to get that boy a better agent. He could be up there w/ Ryan Reynolds. Well, maybe anyway.. close second.

  • Um, swap “spaghetti” with “sushi” in #4 and you totally have me.
    Soy Sauce: 97
    White t-shirt: 0

  • Ben Nattress

    I too do not understand people who don’t like The West Wing.
    I have all 7 season on dvd. When i reach the end of season 7, I put disk 1 of season 1 in my computer and start again.
    My friends think this is weird.

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