Originally done here
2. If a student tells you he just ‘had a wet fart’ but after is walking around like a bow legged cowboy, send him down to the bathroom immediately.
3. Don’t trust people who don’t love “Party in the USA”.
4. If the kissing ain’t right, keep the legs tight.
5. Sometimes, the only thing that will be able to cure your sadness is McDonalds french fries. And on those days, no one will judge you from dumping out the bag after to look for bonus fries that fell to the bottom.
Mmmm… bonus fries.
6. You are more than the numbers on the scale, the dollars in your bank account, the list of contacts in your phone. The numbers in your life are not a definition of who you are. They are, just numbers in your life.
7. Never eat a banana in front of someone you don’t plan on having sex with.
8. When you go for lunch with your mom? Pick up the damn tab. You lived rent free in her womb for nine months. The least you can do is spring for her Cobb salad. Am I right or AM I RIGHT?
9. He’s your ex-boyfriend for a reason.
10. Cheating during drinking jenga is never worth the loss of dignity that you will face when you inevitably get caught. Because seriously? It’s JENGA!
* Yes, I know these are peonies (my favourite). But I have strong feelings about carnations and feel they are the underappreciated bloom of the flower community. Carnation Nation! Booyah!