A few weeks ago, I was spending my free time putting together a list of reading strategies for a bulletin board to help kids comprehend what they are reading. (And yes, this is what teachers do in their free time. So before you start going all “JULY AND AUGUST HOLIDAYS” on me, I’m just going to stop you right here and tell you to suck it.) One of the strategies that most experts agree on, is that a student needs to be able to recognize relationships in writing and understand what these relationships mean. As seen here. Please note how professional I am, doing my serious teacher work on my comfy bed:
Students who are able to connect people, understand their relationships while reading, tend to do better seeing the big picture- what the story is ultimately about. They tend to be better at predicting what will happen next in the story, explaining what already happened and distilling the main points of the tale when sharing with others.
Blah, Blah, Blah.
So what this really got me thinking about was, how do I define my relationships. Because seriously, it’s important that I always bring it back to me.
I have friends. I’m lucky enough to have the very best of friends. Friends who make me laugh and go to Harry Potter world with me and stay in hotel rooms with me and watch SYTYCD marathons with me when the entire world has gotten comfortable resting it’s heavy mass on my shoulders. Friends who call just because, text funny stories, email just to wish me a good day. Yes, I have very good friends.
And of course, I have H.A.D. . The charmingest of charming fellows who manages to calm me down after Colts games (SERIOUSLY THOUGH? WTF WAS THAT TODAY?), makes me laugh like no one else and routinely tells me I’m gorgeous and lovely, brilliant and better than Salma Hayek (which we both know is a lie, but I pretend it’s true). He’s truly, truly great and I wish everyone could have a dude who is as kind as he is. I’d keep going, but I’m pretty sure I can hear some of you gagging on all my swooniness. (Or are getting cavities with all my sweetness).
I know couples who routinely call their partner their best friend. I know couples who are glad they are in a couple, love the person they are with, but call friends outside their coupled relationship their best friend. Which got me thinking- do you have a best friend? Or are you someone who has a group of close friends? Is your spouse/partner your best friend or do you look outside your relationship and find yourself best friends with someone else? Is it too sixth grade to think that you can only have one best friend or do you have different kinds of best friends? Is it just me or does routinely typing ‘best friend’ make me sound like I’m 12 years old?
Maybe once we grow up we are supposed to stop talking about best friends. Maybe that’s why I feel silly asking about it. Or maybe, once we grow up the idea of “best friend” changes and it’s harder to articulate how we feel, what makes a best friend or how we feel about the one (or ones) we have. Or maybe, if you are lucky, you’ve never stopped to think about something like this, because you are too busy polishing your BFF necklace you are still wearing from the friend you’ve had since the sixth grade.
I hope for you, it’s the last one.
*Thank you Laurie. When I mentioned on twitter that I was thinking about blogging again but felt like I was going to become the Brett Farve of blogging, Laurie sweetly suggested it could be thought of as being the Jay-Z of blogging. And we all know Jay-Z has more swagger than Brett. And well, he has grammy’s and Beyonce and a freaking yacht. Which promptly made me re-evalulate my life and if Jay-Z could come out of retirement, marry the girl who helped create the greatest roadrtrip CD ever (that would be “SURVIVOR” in case you were curious) and have hit songs, why couldn’t I come out of my blogcoma and once again share random thoughts with people? Indeed.
I think I have different types of best friends. I have a girl best friend and a work best friend, a best friend from home, etc. But I know that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, no matter what I’ve done, Noah is my true best friend and he always will be.
I have rather strange relationships with people I think…I don’t have that many that are super close – ones that I can email random shit to or just call up whenever I feel like it.
I have a great friend who lives in London who I email and we catch up when she comes to Australia. She was the only person in the group of friends I had with my ex who stuck around after the break-up.
There is my friend in Tassie who I met at Uni and would be the person I’ve been close to the longest. But distance tempers that relationship too.
I have the inappropriate work friend (who you may know about Brandy!)…
and then there is my boyfriend who is the closest of all because I see him every day. Being a bit of a loner, it’s him that I hang out with most so you would say he is my best friend. He’s quite a loner too and doesn’t have anyone really close to him in this country. So we’re okay just on our own most of the time.
I’ve never really been that close to people growing up – so getting past the acquaintance stage is always difficult. And its harder to make friends as an adult because so many people have long established groups already.
And I dont have a ‘group’ and my partner doesn’t either.
Wooo what a ramble. I could analyse this shit forever hehe
Mmm. Happy to have your musings back.
Glad you’ve decided to pull a Jay-z, I’m a huge fan of him- and you! Welcome back!!
1) Welcome out of the coma.
2) I like to think I have several best friends at this point in life.
3) I also like to think the person I’ve chosen as my partner/spouse would be one of those best friends, probably eventually THE best friend, and it’s likely I saw this potential from the beginning.
4: xoxo
I think there’s different types of best friends. I have my partner who is my best friend and provides me consistent support in everything. But I also have my female best friend who listens to my female musing but also enjoys going out to do crazy stuff with me. Then I have another female best friend who I can talk to about daily life issues re: relationships, budgeting, & work problems.
Regardless, I’m happy you’re back!! I enjoy your posts!
I have lots of different types of friends, but as I get older, I realize that a “Friend” is someone who I can always count on. If I can’t count of them, they’re just an acquaintance.
Who may or may not always have a fridge full of beer. Hence our relationship.
I do not have a best friend. Some years in high school I’d have one girl or another that I was “best friends” with, but the reality is that I almost never hung out with kids outside of school. I’ve never been one of those people who has a solid, big group of friends. While I wish I had one, I’m almost 34 and it seems everyone who I’d consider is a perspective best friend is already snatched up by someone else, and they don’t need me as a best friend. While there are some people who have a significant other and consider that person their best friend, I don’t have that either. So I guess I am my own best friend.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by dorian young, Rose Little. Rose Little said: A question about relationships (aka: I'm pulling a *Jay-Z aka …: Students who are able to connect people, unders… http://bit.ly/9C1xU2 [...]
Long ago, I realized that we can have more than one best friend. Yes, Hubby is my best friend. So is my BFF from high school. So is Dingo from As I was Saying. I go to each of them for different things. Hubby, ultimately ends up hearing ALL of it, but he may not be the FIRST person I turn to for everything.
P.S. I hate that we have to teach that. Most of US don’t “understand relationships” until MUCH later in life.
My boy is my partner, my roomate and the greatest love I have ever known, so naturally friendship is one the of most important elements of our relationship. If we broke up, I would miss my best friend.
But then there’s OG…
And Teryn…
At the end of the day though, the person I feel weird going a day without talking to, the person who knows what I am thinking by just looking at me, the person who without question will be my maid of honor one day is the best friend I made in 6th grade. (Actually, it was more like end of 6th grade, because naturally preteen girls are catty bitches and we had to hate each other before we could love each other)
I am oh so happy you’re making a comeback : )
This post made me smile and giggle and I’m pretty sure I’ve got a couple cavities now. :)
I’ve been in DC this last week and I’ve realize how many great friends I have. I didn’t expect to get that many bear hugs. I still have my childhood bffs but I’m also making more. It takes time though. I think as an adult friendships are not made as quickly. It takes work and so many times its easier to just stay home or snuggle up with the boyfriend who is a pretty awesome BFF too.
It’s not silly to write about. I think it’s complicated and I could talk about it for hours. In fact, I’m going to go blog about friendships right now.
I have a fiancé *and* a best friend. I consider myself to be unbelievably lucky to have two people in my life that I’m so close to.
I suppose at this point I consider my fiance to be my best friend. I haven’t had a female best friend in many years, but I have many girl friends from various points in my life. I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I had to pick a maid of honor because I didn’t have that class “best friend.” So I ended up just choosing a good girl friend who I thought could do the job. I love having a lot of friends in diverse circles, but I kind of miss high school because I had a really good core group back then. Now I have so many groups and individual friends – I am still getting used to it.
[...] *Post inspired by my wonderful friends and the lovely Brandy. [...]
For some reason, I haven’t chosen very good friends in the past (or just lots that moved away), and I am very sad to admit that I’m not still friends with those I was friends with back in the day. My husband is my best friend hands down. I have other very good friends, but because of the hurt that I’ve endured in the past, I find him simply enough to be with and talk with and go to and snuggle with. He is my consistent when the rest of my “best friends” have long gone.
My husband is my best friend, but my maid of honor and friend from college is also my best friend. I am brutally honest with both of them, but definitely talk about different things. I think it’s possible to have more than one.
I didnt appreciate being called Beyonce on Twitter this morning.
I just dont have those kind of curves.
I don’t have just one best friend…I’ve had friends since childhood, best friends from college, work, blogging, etc. I think that having a variety of friends is really important; relying on one friend or relationship to meet too many needs can be really unhealthy, at least in my opinion.
I have best friends from every stage of my life, so I guess I’m one of those “small circle of close friends” people. Those are the people who “get” me. The ones I feel refreshed and revived and more myself after we spend time together. Unfortunately none of them live close and all of them have busy, exciting lives.
Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m rotating the friendship pots around a rickety stove. This week I’ll reconnect with this one, then that one, then the other. Stir stir stir. Email, write, call.
As far as who I spend my days with though? Hands down, The Boy. He’s my friend, and my husband and partner, but he’s not a soul-sister best friend.
Mostly because of the penis.
So glad to have you back in bloggy world!
I have a small circle of friends that I can call upon when I need someone. They support me and listen to me, and that’s all that a girl can ask for. But now that we have all graduated, I find that the ones who continue to keep in touch are the ones that are really worth keeping around. I would have to echo Shaba’s words: “This week I’ll reconnect with this one, then that one, then the other. Stir stir stir. Email, write, call.”
But my best friend is definitely my boyfriend. And it’s not to be all mushy-gushy, lovey-dovey. He’s the one who listens without judging, offers advice without being arrogant, and makes me laugh until my face turns red and I fall out of my chair. You can’t argue with that.
Hey glad your back :) this post made me think and inspired me to write my own on this topic I linked back here of course too x x
Yes. Please be the Jay-Z of blogging… not the Brett Favre. (He’s bad news. And made my life – personally – sad for two summers as he waffled over whether or not to go back to the NFL…)
Welcome back, lovely!
99 Problems eh?
The Man is indeed my best friend, shit happens I want to tell him.
I do have few very close friends and they all have different roles, there are the people I call when I need a pep talk. The people I call when I want to rage… and then there are the drinking buddies. Suppose it doesn’t matter when you call them. Friends are friends.