On writing, Churchill, beavers & “oh la la”

You know what the weird thing is? (Other than starting posts with a random question) It’s the fact that right now, my world is full of extremes. I’m either locking myself in the bathroom at work with the taps running so people can’t hear me cry or I’m stifling a laugh when one of my students comes to school with a stuffed rodent and proclaims to everyone “Get over here and touch my beaver! I’ve got the softest beaver in the wooooooooorld“. The downside of course, is that a second after you catch yourself smiling, you feel guilty. Like being depressed means YOU MUST BE SAD EVERY SECOND OF EVERYDAY- and I assure you, that’s almost the case. But for 7 seconds today it wasn’t. And I’ve been wrestling with that all evening. And will continue until it’s 4am and I realize I haven’t cleaned the bathroom yet.

(Keep reading, this post gets less boring. And it involves audience participation).

It’s also a battle to even decide to write something. I know HAD is reading this and like I said, I really dislike that he will get a continued update on my life, while I get an ulcer worrying about his- since he’s decided to cut me out like I’m a baby killer or jeggings manufacturer. I make jokes because it’s easier. The truth is, there is a physical pain that I feel worrying and never knowing what is going on. But, like everything else- I will figure out how to deal with it. THE POINT OF THIS RAMBLE, was to talk about how I miss writing. A lot, actually. And not just writing things where people feel the need to talk about how great you are so you don’t harm yourself, but writing of any kind. I miss thinking of the best way to describe my day, or finding the perfect word- or even creative writing. (Sidenote: If you haven’t checked this project out I was a part of, read it. Go now. This blog will wait).

Anyway. I’ve read a lot of books on happiness (and this was before I was actually unhappy. I’m just someone who likes reading books on anything and reading about happiness seemed like a smart thing to read about. Ditto all those “Survival Books”. You joke, but when the world is ending, I’m going to know how to dilute and drink my own urine and you won’t.) and the reoccurring message is that when you are sad, it’s good to think about others rather than yourself. Which makes sense because when I think about myself, all that comes to mind is “I’m sad. I’ve never been this sad. I’m never going to stop being sad. Rinse, lather, repeat“. Which? If you reeeeeally think about it, isn’t the positive self mantra that ensures an ulcer free existence.   So the point of this paragraph is (somewhere all my English teachers collectively began to weep), is that I want to write more.

So… I’ve decided that I’m going to write a letter every single day for the entire year. To everyone. And anyone. I’m really not one thousand percent sure what I hope to accomplish but I figure the following will at the very least occur:

1. I will improve my penmanship. Or should I say.. my penmanship. (For some reason, writing in italics makes me think fancy and end each sentence with ‘oh la la’. Or should I say… ‘oh la la‘ .. okay I will stop.).
2. I will become an expert stamp licker.
3. I will get to show off my favourite purple pen.
4. I will get to show off how poorly I spell without the use of spellcheck.

So this is where I need your help. I know I know (again, teachers are weeping at my excellent writing skillz), 365 people, but I thought it would be nice to open this up to the blogging world. I’ve already started on the 1st- I’m a stickler for rules and I have to say it felt kinda good being nice to others and not thinking of myself each second of the entire day. If you’d like a letter/note, email me your address. I’m not kidding. Sure, this may be a little.. ridiculous but this is cheaper than therapy (a joke that only works for people who aren’t in therapy, which I AM in… BUT STILL).  I’m working on getting outside of my head a little and I need a project until I find a support group for bloggers who need creative outlets. (NOT *ETSY). I need to write the letter more than you need the letter, so just send me your address to (brandyismagic@gmail.com).

The end
(I thought since I was trying to make my English teachers weep, I should end with that)

(But not really the end. Because I haven’t mentioned Churchill. And the fact that his quote “If you are going through hell, keep going“, was the only reason I got out of bed today. If he was alive, he’d be getting a letter).

(Also to the person who sent me a six paragraph email talking about why I deserved everything that’s going on… fuck you. And you don’t get a letter.)

*I’m not anti-Etsy (in fact, I have a lovely cowl from this shop that I adore). I’m anti- me-creating-etsy-products because my crafting ability is best showcased alongside my third grade class.

32 comments to On writing, Churchill, beavers & “oh la la”

  • I think this is an excellent idea. I imagine that several people will want your letter (I’m included in that) because not only will they give you an outlet but they get to step out of their own head and problems for awhile.

  • I think it’s terrible that someone thought you deserved this??? I can’t think of anyone who deserves this less than you!

    You are more than welcome to mail me, although we don’t know each other that well. I do like getting mail though. I’ll mail you my address, you can do so if you want. Hope you’re okay – as okay as you can be.

  • I love this idea! We don’t write letters enough anymore.

    That reminds me, I need to send my Grandma a letter. Getting the mail is the highlight of her day, I need to send her something.

  • Rachel

    Great idea – count me in….

  • nikkeedee2001

    I have missed your posts Brandy. I am sending you an e-hug and I will email you my address too. I am a good listener so I think I can be a good letter reader too.

  • Your idea is awesome. Just saying.

  • I’m so glad you’re writing again! YAY!

    Also? I love Etsy but I am not skilled enough in any sort of arts and crafts skills to actually, you know, do something. I just used some variation of hte word skills twice in one sentence. Fail. I would assume that my English teachers would be sad, but compared to the rest of my former classmates, I’m willing to bet they’d overlook the error on my part, because I was the only one who gave a shit in their classes.

  • I echo the statements – awesome idea!

  • i think this may be just the little diversion that you need. hey, anything is worth a shot, right? big big hugs to you, as always.

  • Loving this idea and loving the thought of you writing more again.
    Count me in! Details with my address on the way…
    Hey is Australia OK?

  • Awesome idea. Awesome.

    And that person? Asswipe. Seriously, who says stuff like that??

  • I’m totally in.

    Also, that anonymous person should be punched in the heart or something. Jerk.

  • What a great idea. I had a pen pal in the 4th grade. I was terrible at writing letters. I’m a procrastinator through and through.

  • aRbit

    Count me in. And while you send all of us nice letters, maybe you should send “anonymous jerk” a cursed voodoo doll instead.

  • jpryan06

    My favorite from Churchill and has kept me going when I’ve thought things I shouldn’t be thinking…

    “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing, great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

    And you’re licking stamps? Seriously people still lick stamps? Don’t they have sticker-stamps up there in Cannuckistan? Can’t you get a moose to lick them for you?

  • Katie

    Count me in as well. You don’t have to write that jerk a nice letter…you could send him/her a mean letter back or a bag of flaming poo!

  • jen

    That is a brilliant idea! and if your favorite purple pen runs out, i will send you my favorite purple pen…

  • Aw Brandy, how wonderful are you?? I love that you’re turning your focus to reaching out, that sounds like the perfect therapy. And thank you so much for the shout out! I love that you’re enjoying your cowl <3

  • A Super Girl

    I would love a letter…I need a new pen pal! E-mailing you now :-)

  • Yippee! Let’s be pen pals. I just started creating my own stationery so what a great way to get to use it. I’ll send you my address so long as I get yours. :)

  • This is good therapy indeed. Of course I will volunteer!

    And about that person who emailed you a six paragraph letter? How fucking sad of a person do you have to be to take the time and energy to hurt someone like that? I’ve received comments along those lines and even though I know those people are lonely, sad assholes, it still stings. BUT! It says so much more about them as a person that it ever will about you.

    Shine on my friend.

  • I’m really sorry about what’s happening in your life right now. When my mom had cancer, she did the same thing to her boyfriend: She broke up with him because she didn’t want him to have to deal with what she was going through. Even though my mom’s boyfriend wanted to be there for her, she felt like her illness was a huge burden in his life, so she let him go.

    Everyone is different, so everyone handles these kinds of situations differently. When one has a serious illness, one may easily ask/accept for the support of friends, family, and loved ones. However, it can also be hard for one to reach out to others in fear of feeling like a burden. That was my mom’s problem: She was so stubborn and self-less that she wanted to fight her cancer on her own and not inconvenience anyone else with what she was going through.

    I know it hurts that HAD cut you out of his life, but whatever you do, do not take it personally. He probably just doesn’t want you to feel obligated to deal with what he’s going through right now. I’m sure he still loves you and appreciates everything you’ve done for him.

    I think your letter idea is a great one. I’ll gladly send you my address.

    Also, if you ever find out who sent that anonymous email, let me know so I can punch him in the face.

  • How DO you dilute and drink your own urine??? Because I recently watched 127 Hours and I really want to know. James Franco made it look freakin’ unbearable.

    I’m emailing your my address now. Two emails in one day!

    P.S. Do you know how hard it is to be all New Year’s Self-Improve-y when every time you think about yourself, you’re reminded how sad you are? Voms.

  • what a fun idea, i love it. writing is so therapeutic for me but i do dread not having spell check, i’m quite horrible without it, haha.

  • I can’t believe someone sent you an email to say you deserved this. It seriously blows my mind.

    Just so you know I always read but never comment and I’ve been thinking about you lately. You are just lovely, even if you are a Colts fan.

  • ruby

    There is a super fun card waiting for my new pen pal! Great idea Brandylu! You are awesome to turn something hurtful into a way to reach out to other people and make someone else’s day.

  • ruby

    Oh and the jackwagon who sent you a nasty email? Not impressed. They suck.

  • Write me a letter! I don’t know if you have my right address, I’ll email you later (since I’m sure you have a billion requests, so I have some time).

    Love you Deej!

  • [...] (see #7), and I currently am wading in a 4-digit email inbox. And I couldn’t be happier. Keep volunteering! (Besides being a project for me to dig into as I sort through.. well, everything- it’s been [...]

  • I’m so sorry that you are having to go through this and that, to top it all off, some jackass sent you a note that said you deserved it. Who in their right mind would say that? No one deserves the pain of a broken heart. (Having been there myself, I know it sucks. And that saying it sucks does not do it justice AT ALL.

    I hope that things are looking a little brighter for you now. And that your students are still talking about beavers because we all need a little laugh every day, right?

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