Congratulations to Miranda and Sarahdotcom for each winning a copy of A Short History of Nearly Everything. Hurrah! Send me your addresses and when the MAIL STRIKE is over, you will get your packages!
Now. Tomorrow is my last official day with my class and let’s just face facts. I’m not mentally ready to let go of my little burritos. Nor am I capable of even writing about them. (Whoa. I just said ‘nor’? Who do I think I am, Charles Dickens?) I’m going to work hard to not cry tomorrow. My ugly cry sounds like a pair of tone deaf whales humping and children shouldn’t be put through that.
So instead of writing something drenched in sap and prompting “FOR THE LOVE OF RYAN REYNOLDS ABDOMINAL MUSCLES, GRAB A HOLD OF YOURSELF WOMAN” comments, I’m going to share a list of things I don’t care about. Because in a world where being labeled ‘careless’ is supposed to be an insult, there are just somethings that I really don’t give a damn about at all. Feel free to add your own ‘don’t cares’ in comments.
10 Things I Don’t Care About
1. 80% 96% 98% of all Facebook status updates
2. Anything related to vampires
3. LINDSAY LOHAN. OR HER DRINKING HABITS. OR HER ARRESTS. OR HER COURT APPEARANCES. OR THE FACT THAT EVERYTIME I WATCH PARENT TRAP, I’M TRANSPORTED TO A BETTER, HAPPIER PLACE. #DENNISQUAID4EVER
4. How many different grains are in my cereal
5. Movies involving Kevin James
6. Any meeting that occurs before 9am or after 3pm
7. Television shows about weight loss
8. Updates on the solidity of your kids last bowel movement (Sadly, this does not always relate solely to item #1 on the list)
9. Recipes that include more than 5 ingredients
10. That after my kids leave tomorrow, I’m totally going to bawl my face right off. This class has been with me during the hardest year of my life and each of them is absolutely brilliant. I will forever be thankful I got to be their third grade teacher.
CUE WHALE HUMPING SOUNDS.
Why do I get the feeling you’re the best teacher ever? :)
I don’t care about bitchy young mums – you can’t scare me. I know I’m in for some crazy of a whole new level, but your negativity means nothing to me!
I don’t care that these days I spend enough time in the kitchen to put Martha Stewart to shame.
I don’t care about people who don’t care about me! And I love that I mean it.
xo
Recipes with more than five ingredients are just overkill. I mean, really.
Aw, so sweet the bond you have with your students.
I would like to agree with numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, and 9. Except maybe I’d like to change 1 to “99.735%”.
Holy crap, I won?
Shut. Up. I’ve been all busy with my new job this week and haven’t read anyyy blogs. And then yours is the first I click to, and I won? HAPPIEST. THANK YOU. NO THANK YOU TO THE MAIL STRIKE. BUT THANK YOU!
I played Things I Don’t Care About on my tumblr a bit ago. I can’t even remember what I don’t care about, which is probably good, because that means I probably told the truth and truly don’t care.
I bet vampire-y things were on the list though. Don’t. Care. And golf, too. Don’t. Care.
Amen! I was just watching E! News and they had a segment on Lindsey Lohan and I was like- seriously, how is she still relevent? No one cares!
Also, you’re amazing and I’m sure your class will miss you just as much! :)
Your little burritos are so lucky to have had you as a teacher. As a side note, I’m trying to tell myself that I don’t care what certain people think, but that’s harder to swallow than it should be. Perhaps I need a list like yours.
Lindsay Lohan just needs to go away.
I hate Lindsay Lohan too. Every day I truck over to thesuperficial.com and wwtdd.com and there she is again and WHOGIVESAFUCK. She should have stopped after Mean Girls.
I also don’t care about any of the above…well except #10 because I don’t have any burrito-children to let go of.
Your students are going to remember what an awesome teacher you were to them! I’m trying not to care about television at all.
I think I’m with you for about 8/10 of those.
But I have to say, I’m on the HALEY MILLS 4 LIFE team. Original Parent Trap 4Eva
Amen, sister! Haley MILLS!
I have to say – I mostly just feel sorry that you have to listen to #8 at all.
(And I’m also pro Haley Mills.)
i am with you on all of those and the one to add, at least for me, is i just dont care about the monthly letter to the baby, call me heartless but i dont. its a nice sweet gesture but i think its been overdone…
aww. your little burritos- i love your term of endearment for them. they were one lucky class to have you as a teacher, you know that right? i hope today goes well; i will be thinking of you.
also, and i think this may be one of the only things we disagree on? but kevin james? you no like?! what? have you SEEN hitch? when he dances like an asshole? come on brandy. work with me here.
I’m with you on every single one except #7. Heavy? Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition? CAN’T. STOP. WATCHING.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I don’t care about singing shows – The Voice? American Idol? Not so much.
100% agreement on the post 3pm meeting. At least if it’s before 9am people have somewhere other than the meeting to be and they get to the point. On occasion.
I don’t care about the Housewives of anywhere.
I don’t care about reality tv in general.
I don’t care about people that don’t respect others.
I own a shitload of cookbooks but the one I prize the most is the 5 Ingredient Cookbook I bought in college. Amen.
i seriously agree with you on everything in this list. especially lindsay lohan, enough already. just toss her in the pile with heidi montag and and real housewife.
also, you are seriously the sweetest teacher ever. just bring a picture of ryan reynolds to look at when you think you’re going to cry and you’ll feel better. or just his abs. either one is fine.
One of my co-workers (who is a teacher at our org) was crying in the bathroom the other day. Someone asked her if she was okay and she was like, “NO! I am going to miss my students so much!” (It was the final day of classes.) She’s a dearheart, as are you.
I also don’t care about vampires but I do have a strange crush on Kevin James. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT.
I’m making a list on my own blog this week but I don’t care about…
Staying up past 11pm, even on weekends. (I like waking up early and not feeling like a zombie, thankyouverymuch.)
How bad carbs, cheese, or a combination of the two are for me. THEY’RE DELICIOUS.