One of the absolute best parts of teaching young kids is that you are there for all those quotes and stories that come out unfiltered. Young kids don’t always put the words in the right order, they don’t care what others think and they are never politically correct. Which makes conversations with them one of the highlights of my job. So whenever we had downtime, whether it was eating at lunchtime or riding on a fluorescent orange school bus coming back from a field trip, I always liked to ask my third grade class questions. About love and books and reality television.
Recently while coming back from a field trip where we went hiking, one of my students asked me why I asked so many questions. My answer is the same no matter who asks it- I just like talking to people who are funny and thoughtful and kids are always both. That seemed to satisfy the group. We drove on a few more miles before the same student turned to me and said ”So basically kids are better than adults?”. I nodded yes. He turned around and rode the rest of the way home with a happy smile on his face. I did the same.
Here are just some (!) of the most memorable quotes and quips I heard in my classroom this year…. (and thank you to everyone who suggested I start keep track of these-typing them as they said them while trying to stifle my giggles made for a fun way to spend a few minutes of class time).
On Facebook
“My mom talks to me all the time unless she’s on Facebook. That’s a whole other story.”
On perfume
“I’m never going to wear perfume. I like my aromas.”
On handwriting
“God, this feels good!”
On vacations
“They are good until I get carsick every time. Last time my mom made me puke in a rubber boot.”
On math
“I’m bored. This is too easy. Let’s talk about angebra. ”
On reading
“Every minute I do this I feel closer to being smarter.”
On learning about whales
“Basically, human babies are made of whale blubber”
On mental health
“Mental health probably means you take your brain for a walk when you get upset. Like you go on a brain vacation.”
On Lady Gaga
“Basically…. I don’t know for sure what it is, I think a girl but my sister has her cd.”
On koi fish
“This gold-fish looks like grandma! It’s got little whiskers like my grandma. We call her Whiskers sometimes and my mom gets angry.”
On hockey
“I will cheer for the team that wins the Stanley Cup.”
On sign language
“I don’t think blind people would find sign language really good to learn unless you were like, so smart you were in university when you were 25.”
On explaining what “Fox trot” means
“It’s a dance where you go around and get to yell to your friends as loud as you want.”
On lunch time
“Sometimes it feels like we all we do is learn and then finally it’s lunch time and my brain stops learning and my mouth starts.”
On their parents hobbies
“My dad just plays Halo and my mom talks to her friend Jen on the phone about my dad only playing Halo.”
On farting
“I’m so glad you don’t make us hold it in like how I have to do at church. That kills.”
On the Mona Lisa painting I have in the room
“I think she’s famous because no matter where I stand in the room, she’s looking at me. She’s fake but her eyes are real.”
On me killing our class sunflowers
“It’s okay, you are good at other things. Like making handwriting J’s and not scribbling.”
On the rainbow color order
“I wonder who decided Red got to be first? Probably God. Or his teacher.”
On talking about what they are reading
“Sometimes I tell people. sometimes I keep it private. I don’t have many secrets except the ones in my book bin.”
On being smart
“Being smart is basically one of the best things I have in life.”
On spelling tests
“There’s not enough brain fuel in the world to get me to spell ‘especially’ correctly.”
On the internet
“I think the best way to explain it is that it’s everything in the world rolled into one thing.”
On explaining “Survivor”
“It’s a show about these people who go away for a year and don’t get any new clothes and they have to eat only just about nothing, probably dirt and sometimes they do obstacles and they have friends and people who don’t have friends or don’t do any work have to go home when they have their fire gone. Also, if they win they get a necklace or a trophy but if they lose usually they are surprised.”
On saying “basically” all the time
“Basically, – wait. Okay. So the word just means that I know what I’m talking about. And that you should probably listen because I got my answer from a real place, like a book or something and it’s not made up in my mind or probably not in a dream. Basically it means I know things. Basically.”
This made me laugh and cry. Kids rule.
I love it! :) kids really do say the darndest things, ha! When I was in college we had this big piece of paper that was at the end of our wing and anytime someone said something ridiculous it was promptly written up. Endless hours of laughs reliving those childlike slips of the tongue!
Hahahahaha. I love kids! Their honesty and fresh perspective on the world is just so endearing!
I can’t wait to have a kid of my own to laugh at…I mean, with :)
This made me smile a lot. Kids think so practically. It all makes sense!! Love it. Thanks missus x x
I 100% agree that kids are better than adults. Like, the highlight of my year last year was one of my students pretending he was dust by rolling around in the sand and whispering “dust, dust, dust” or that he was a Greek god/dess by yelling “do this, do that! do this, do that!” in different voices :) I do have first graders (6ish), so sometimes, there’s not always an explanation in leading others to where we are at the present moment. I love it.
Basically, I love this post!
Super presh! And, not going to lie, when I think about whales, I also lose my mind a little bit.
“I think the best way to explain it is that it’s everything in the world rolled into one thing.”
THIS JUST BLEW MY MIND. Best description ever. Kids teach us so much!
awesome :)
I miss working with kids!!!
I love kids. So off the wall and completely serious about it.
Hahahaha, kids are hilarious! This was great!
“On the Internet” is perfectly accurate!
This just made me laugh right out loud on a morning when I very much needed to do so. Kids kick ass.
And seriously, the internet thing is the best explanation of the internet EVER.
This is fantastic. I really love the mental health description.
Amazing. Sometimes kids are pretty awesome.
Oh kids. Hahahhaa. :)
I’m laughing out loud at my desk right now. Kids are so funny.
OH MY GOSH. That is pure gold, my friend. The best:
“Basically, human babies are made of whale blubber.”
I love kids. They are my actual favorite.
This is wonderful!
So cute. I used to work at a preschool, and I always loved hearing what they came up with. Such a great idea writing them all down!
I just shared these with many of my co-workers for a mid-day pick-me-up. So funny!
this seriously just made my day. so much cuteness.
This makes me eleventy billion times more excited to start my job in August.
While being a camp counselor at a nature center, a 3rd grader once said to me, “Miss Lovely, have you seen the movie ‘It’s Hot’?”
“No,” I replied.
“What do you mean you haven’t seen it, ’cause you IN IT.”
Terrible pick up line or a way of explaining it was really hot outside? You decide.
Dear Whale Kid,
I get you.
They make me lose my mind every time I see them.
Also, they make me break out in hot sweats and start to shake.
And can we just submit the internet definition to Webster’s already? I mean, BRILLIANT.
Those are so sweet! And I think the explanation for “basically” is 100% correct for how most people seem to use it.
Ha! Priceless. I like my aromas too,…most days anyway.
Goodness. This makes me miss being a summer camp counselor. Like crazy.
Brandy! This is quintessential third grade stuff. I taught third for eight years and it’s my favorite. Please continue to post these next year! Have a great summer!
Hahhahahha there is no better humour than kid humour. They are sooo smart!!! I like kids better than adults too :)
<3 Belly B
That last one killed me. I say basically all the time when I start to explain things. Too funny. “Basically it means I know things. Basically.”
Dying, kids are so hilarious.
[...] grade teacher and she’s been recording every awesome thing her student say over the last year. Let’s enjoy a few, shall we? On vacations “They are good until I get carsick every time. Last time my mom made me [...]