Lately I’ve become one of those people who routinely is up at 4:30am laying in bed attempting to use a soothing voice to tell myself to go the fuck to sleep. And when that doesn’t put me into a deep slumber, I make lists in my head- things I should do, things I want to do, things I wish I would have done, supplies I need to buy at Wal-mart for the projects I started thinking about at 2am.
(Sidenote: I’ve never been a regular Wal-Mart shopper, but it opens earlier than anywhere else (8 am) so I have found myself on more than one occasion in the last few weeks, standing outside Wal-Mart at 7:58am avoiding eye contact with everyone else who is standing there too because eye contact means we are recognizing that WE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO WAIT AT THE DOOR TO GET INTO WAL-MART.)
A recent 4 am project was all about re-organizing the pantry. I didn’t take a before picture (I had not realized at the time my life was going to take a turn into crazyville where my biggest accomplishments would be occurring in the middle of the night) but here is the after:
Now you might be looking at that thinking ‘wow! She got organized, well done’, but please don’t. Let’s take a closer look at what happens when you are organizing at 4 am…
Oh look! I’ve bought a fancy container with a button push top to hold crackers. That looks reasonable and an excellent way to keep crackers fresh. But wait… this isn’t regular organizing, this is 4 AM ORGANIZING… so reasonable organizing turns into….
This.
Because CLEARLY I wasn’t going to be able to figure out what those things in the clear container were without a label. A label that had to be typed. And then put on scrapbooking paper. And then was laminated. (Which required a joyride to the school at 5 am).
If this was only about crackers I could handle my crazy. But alas, a week ago I attacked the spice cupboard. Which resulted in this: 
Do I even need to explain how useless a list that says “various spices” multiple times is? It’s like naming some of the files in your filing cabinet “FILES”. Relatedly, WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY SPICES?
My neighbour has a new puppy and has been taking it out to pee at all hours of the night. A few times I’ve scared her as I’ve been carrying garbage outside at 5 am after a sweaty night of organizing. I was paranoid she thought my home was a meth lab, or at the very least I was carrying human limbs out in garbage bags in the middle of the night. So a few evenings later when she commented about my strange hours, I told her I was struggling with sleep.
She dropped the dog leash and walked over to me and asked, “Can I pray for you?”.
I don’t find myself praying often, and the only time I find myself in a church is for a wedding, funeral or when I’m backpacking Europe. But she said it so… intently and with such grace, I of course told her she could. I assumed that she was going to go inside since we were standing on the lawn, her in a bathrobe that was playing a dangerous game of show and tell with the wind and I was holding a bag full garbage. But she grabbed my hands, closed her eyes and spoke.
I honestly can’t even recall what she said. At first I felt really uncomfortable, the garbage bag had landed on my foot and mosquitoes were dancing on my bare legs. But something told me it would be wrong to let go of her hands to swat away bugs or kick off the garbage. After I let myself accept that my legs were going to be a buffet for the mosquitoes and that she was just going to have to ignore my sweat hands, I let myself stand there on the front lawn in the dark, holding hands with the neighbour in the bathrobe.
She finished her prayer, hugged me, scooped up her dog and went inside. I’m not a religious person and I’m not sure if I ever will be. But the last few days I’ve been thinking about those moments on the lawn and how much they have meant to me. I think its the whole idea of how brave she was to openly share her faith that has moved me and the fact that she was so sincere in dedicating those moments to me- someone she hardly knows.
She asked me yesterday if I was up organizing all night again. I told her the truth- that I hadn’t organized a single thing since our time on the lawn. She smiled and went inside.
I didn’t tell her that I was up until 4 am thinking of how nice it felt to have someone pray for me.
This was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you for sharing.
At the risk of sounding delustional, I found this post quite comforting :)
You have a wonderful neighbor :)
The power of prayer is an amazing thing. It really is. Hope you get some sleep soon!
All of this makes me love you even more than I already did (especially the crackers label). And honestly, I didn’t think that was possible.
I, too, hope sleep finds you soon. I’ve had those battles with insomnia and they are NOT fun.
It’s funny, because I haven’t been to church in 10 years and yet I still find prayer (both the act and being prayed for) insanely comforting.
That’s lovely. I think that even if you’re not religious, the sentiment that lady showed towards you is quite beautiful :)
Honestly, I’ve gotten crazy with my label maker at the weirdest times. Once I spent an entire weekend – we’re talking probably 20+ hours – organising my home office. I was a maniac. Forget socialising or doing normal weekend things, I was on a mission! I think I spent $400 on organisational/stationery supplies too…it’s a worry.
i’ve struggle with issues of prayer, in the opposite direction as your story. i don’t pray much at all, but i know that when certain people in my life are going through something tough, it is comforting for them to hear that people have them in their prayers (beyond just their thoughts). but i feel like a fraud if i say you are in my prayers. i still haven’t worked that out.
related to not sleeping – i know your problems are deeper than mine have been, but have you thought of writing down those lists you are making in your mind? i’ve found it immensely helpful when i can’t fall asleep to write down all that i am thinking. half the time it is too messy to read again (maybe that is the point) and i never go back to it anyway, but it just helps me get stuff off my mind.
I hardly ever pray for myself but I do make a point to pray for others when I hear times are rough.
I used to have insomnia to the point where I was deciding if I should drink that day or take ambien. I decided to get rid of the then bf instead. Made sleeping a lot easier
This post made me smile – at your crazy organizing (which I found not so much crazy as AWESOME…please come to California and organize my life, thanks.) and at the image of your neighbor praying for you in a bathrobe. So lovely that random acts of kindness still exist.
that’s some serious organizing lady! would you like to come to boston and help me out? we can have girly sleepovers and we can reward ourselves with wine, big brother, and ryan reynolds.
that’s an interesting story about your neighbor. i do happen to be the praying type, even if i don’t do so regularly in a church, i do so pretty regularly in my own way. i can’t say that i wouldn’t have been a little taken aback if someone random came up to me and asked “can i pray for you,” but it seemed like she was sincere and not all trying to push her faith on you, more just practicing her own faith but kind of wanted to involve you in it. which, i guess bottom line, i’m glad that you found comforting and it’s brought you a little peace. i can’t say i’m positive it would do the same for me…
sorry- i just re-read my comment and i hope it didn’t come off as sounding judgemental. i do truly feel happy that you found comfort in this woman’s gesture. i don’t know why it is that i’m viewing it with a little more cynical mind… but maybe it’s just a chance for me to notice that i need not view things negatively that can be taken positively.
What a beautiful moment. Not necessarily because it involved prayer but more (for me) that it brought to strangers to an open, healing place. I love when that happens.
You don’t have 24-hour Walmarts? Pity.
Also, that was very sweet of her. Aww.
Stories like this make me have faith in the goodness of humanity again. Thanks for sharing.
That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Are you sure you’re not pregnant? You are displaying signs of crazy.
Amazing faith :)
I really do smile when I see your name lit up in my reader which means there is a post.
And here in Texas we have 24 hour Wal Marts.
That was very nice of that lady to offer up a sincere hope that you get rest. Especially if she didn’t know you that well. I like those kinds of people that have a quiet faith and not bang you over the head with it.
The labeling is a bit whackadoo but I certainly understand doing some whackadoo things myself. :)
Hope your sleep gets better.
one. the various spices thing cracked me up. that is some intense organization.
two. i’ve been having insomnia issues lately and seriously i should start organizing then, i mean might as well do something productive.
and three. like you said, i love that your neighbor was so open to simply pray for you right there and share her feelings and belief without a horrible connotation associated with it if that makes any sense.
Just found your blog through your “10 reasons not going to 10 year reunion” post. I have that post too and it’s caused a mountain of drama. Anyway, I loved this post… you are slightly nuts… not just organizing, but typing, decorating and LAMINATING?! Haha! But I love that your neighbor prayed for you. You can always find comfort in the most unexplained and unexpected places… dont’cha think?
I’ve strayed so far from religion. At this point, I’m a Jew by food, partaking in corned beef and bagels (not together of course) but never once saying a prayer or visiting the chapel. And yet, I look fondly upon those who embrace the presence of a God, the power of a prayer. Not the crazies who shove it down your throat or spew words of hate. But it’s hard to scowl at your neighbor, a woman who merely believes there’s a fix and offered to help make it happen. That’s the beautiful side of religion. Sadly, it’s rarely the side I’ve experienced. Nice, post.
ha thanks for this girl :)
What I would give for you to have a cluttered pantry, Brandy. No amount of frantic organization is going to help your mind heal – and I know – I’ve been there, not too long ago. That moment with your neighbour, that is a moment and a memory that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Moments like that are what makes life real. I love your neighbour for that.