Last year I went to BiSC (check the previous post if you don’t know what this. And no, this isn’t going to be another plea for me to get my ticket paid for. ALTHOUGH I’D REALLY LIKE IT IF I WON THAT CONTEST) and I admit- I did something for that trip I never thought I’d do.
And up until this second, I have never told anyone.
When I went to Vegas, I went with hair extensions.
And right now you are all- eye rolling and saying “girl, please. I thought you were going to give up something juicy like you got your lady parts groomed in the shape of a hashtag” but if you break it down- hashtagging yourself or hair extensions are both 100% awesome if you do it for yourself. I didn’t. I did it because I had this idea in my head that I would look so much more glamorous and ten thousand times more sophisticated.
The truth is, it was a disaster. What no one tells you about extensions is that they are a lot of work. And unless you are very artful with your updos- putting your hair up is pretty much just saying ‘hey! come check out the strip where the hair not belonging to me is sewn into my scalp!”. So I went to Vegas fully expecting to rock a gorgeous mane of flowing locks similar to a television shampoo model and I ended up with frizzy hair, that hung to my head like damp, dead golden cocker spaniel. And because the salon mentioned that I shouldn’t get my hair wet (unless I was showering), I forfeited any time in the pool. Instead, I sat on a lounge chair with my damp, synthetic mane clinging to my back while trying to avoid any possible head wind. You can imagine how glamorous I looked rocking the dead synthetic dog hairstyle and treating each gust of wind like it was the prelude to a nuclear attack.
The sad part is, the extensions didn’t even make my hair that much longer. It was more the idea of them. I thought I had pulled it off (despite my lack of pool time and my insistence to wear my hair down every day of the trip), until it was photo time one night and I caught Kelly gingerly ‘readjusting’ my hair. We never really spoke about it but her facial expression said ” THERE IS SOMETHING UP WITH YOUR HAIR AND I JUST MET YOU SO I DON’T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING. BUT THERE IS REALLY SOMETHING UP WITH YOUR HAIR.” (I love you, Kelly.)
The point of me sharing this deeply hidden secret is that I spent a lot of time on that amazing trip thinking about fake hair.
Just let that sentence sink in for a bit.
Here I was in Vegas, meeting ALL OF THE LOVELY PEOPLE and I was worried that my hair would come off with a hug or that my poor roommate would be forced to see the horror and tell tale sign of my extensions with the dreaded EXTENSION SHOW (I’m not even going to link you to a whole gallery of Britney extension shows. It’s too tragic for the internet). I can’t calculate on what I missed out on because I was focused on modeling luxurious model hair. I will tell you that if you are thinking about your own hair when you are excitedly hugging someone you’ve been dying to meet for the first time, chances are- you sort of screwed yourself.
So I’m off the extensions. I’m also off the friendships that look good on paper but require more work and effort than a 80 mile marathon. I’ve stopped giving reasons for my feelings- I do not need to validate how I feel by sharing examples or elaborating. I’m off giving a single damn about weight loss or weight gain. I have embraced my love for staying in on Saturday nights and no longer act like I’m uncool for relishing this time at home. I refuse to apologize for a single song on my ipod and I’m working on curbing my tendency to apologize for events out of my control. I will fully admit that being 30 years old is absolutely wonderful. And as much as I want to, I don’t remember to floss everyday. I am starting to like yoga but my favourite workout will always be dodgeball. I believe in equality and powerful women and still watch EVERY FRANCHISE OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES.
I’m off the idea that I need to try to become anything other than the best version of myself.
Which? In my old world of wearing fake hair to look glamorous to others, takes the pressure off.
Especially when I look in the mirror and am happy with the (extension free) version of me that I currently am.