At the beginning of the year I always tell my kids a story of me in university. The story of how after busting my ass, I got 17% on my midterm and my professor scrawled “Great Improvement!” on my paper because it was. Math was foreign to me and that 17% was like a solid A in my math deficient mind and a huge improvement from the secure 6% I had got on my last assignment where my poor professor had taken to just writing smiley faces beside my work. I whooped it up after class, passing that midterm around like I had received a gold medal in “Equations that Make Sense To Nobody”. Reveling in my failure didn’t cause me to give up or rest on my laurels knowing I had firmly secured a solid D- in the class but changing my perspective DID encourage me to enjoy the class more and it took a ridiculous amount of stress off myself.
Failing does not equal failure.
I remind my students of this before every quiz. Before each test, their pencils are put to the side and I ask them very gravely if this spelling test is going to decide their fate. Will they be held back if they do not get 100% on Spelling List #14? Will their hair fall out if they forget how to spell a word? If they forget a silent letter, should we begin preparing our zombie shelters? After we stop talking about the possibility of a zombie attack, the students are ready. We’ve taken the fear out of failing and there’s nothing left for them to worry about.
Failing means you tried.
The class rule is though- fail big. Don’t fail by copying others. Don’t fail by not trying. Don’t fail by never starting. Don’t fail by squishing an idea into your head that does not feel right. Fail by being smarter than technology. For having ideas we can’t figure out how to assemble yet. Fail by asking a question that you don’t know the answer to and will spend an afternoon trying to research. Fail hugely. Make your failures the kind that we talk about after. Not in the “Can you believe she did that?” tone saved for your elderly relatives when your sister shows up to Thanksgiving dinner with a piercing, but in the awe inspired voice soaked in admiration and excitement.
Because when you fail, you remind others to try.
I’ve been working on making my failures bigger. Adults tend to want to minimize their failures- to smooth them out with bright words and clever distractions. We want to get it the first try, to live a boring life of right answers and calm seas. But I’ve discovered that I- like my students, am happier when I fail. Because when you take bigger risks? The fail may be bigger but so is the reward when you DO get it right. Which is how I ended up with $1500 in new classroom resources for next year. And how I got my full time teaching contract. And how for the first time in four years, I’m sleeping without sleeping pills. My failures- my ability to embrace a failure as my first attempt at success rather than a reason to quit, become a nun and shun myself from society is making a huge difference in my life.
Your homework assignment is to find something to fail big at. Make it an enormous fail, worthy of adoration. Let yourself be so secure in your own genius that you are willing to put yourself out there and try something bigger. Avoid calm seas and clever distractions. There will be no zombie attack if you propose a new idea, tackle a new sport, make a declaration that’s lived only inside yourself and you fail. I promise.
Now grab your pencil.
Your test has started.
I’ll be writing about this on my blog at some point, cause it’s awesome.
Thank you! Let me know when you do!
Fail big. I LOVE it. I needed to hear that, thanks!
You’re welcome! xo
I LOVE THIS. Thanks for the reminder!
I love it too! Thanks, lady!
As someone who falls under the category of ‘would rather not try than fail,’ I found this incredibly inspiring. I hear/read lots of advice about how failure can be fun, failure is a step to success, etc., but none of that really spoke to me like this did. Thank you.
This comment means a lot. I definitely hear a lot about failure too- about ‘leaping’ but it never really resonated with me. I’m glad you found this post helpful!
This is glorious for several reasons:
1. I often have to remind my students. They still freak out, though. After student teaching, I vow to make it a part of my daily regimen.
2. I have a very similar math story from my first year in college.
3. I needed this today.
Thanks, btw!
Math is such a bastard, isn’t?! Glad your students are getting some solid advice! xo
I have been living by this for a while. I think you mentioned it once before and i took it to heart. Today i took a big risk and proposed a new toolkit idea to my boss’ boss and he loved it! I was so proud of myself for trying and not being afraid of what his reaction would be.
Yay!! Congratulations on taking that risk. Your boss’ boss is lucky to have you!
I love this so, so much. The first day of class, I always write on the board, “NO JUDGE ZONE.” Even though the majority of my students are 18-20 yrs old, we follow the same mantra. I was told in my improv class to not be afraid to fail brilliantly, as it’s a safe space for taking big chances. I try to instill the same in my public speaking course. Most of the time, they play it safe… but last semester I had a student dress up as Dora the Explorer and give a tribute to her monkey, Boots.
She got the highest grade.
I needed to hear this today as I have been shirking risks of late and choosing to remain in the safe (and boring) zone that I am in currently. Thank you! And as a previous teacher, you make me miss the classroom! I used to teach 8th grade Social Studies and every once in awhile I become overwhelmed with how much I miss it. I’m still connected to education though not as much as I would like, hence one of the risks I’ve been avoiding…
I love this, and almost (not quite, but almost) wish I would be in the classroom next year just to use this, as I am currently having parent meeting after parent meeting with students who are failing for not trying at all, for giving up and saying “I’m just not good at this, so why should I try?” Its so upsetting and frustrating. Its great that your students are learning this early!!
I love this and so needed to read this. I wish you were my child’s teacher. The students that have you for a teacher are incredibly lucky to have someone that pushes them and supports them in such a great way. Good for you.
AWESOME!
Hello! I just picked up your blog on my RSS feed and I look forward to catching up on some “back issues”… so far so great!
I love this and you.
Thank you. This is perfect. Hey, here’s an idea for you : come to Jordan and teach my kids! You really know what you’re doing.
I’ve been blurking for about a year or so around here. This made me stand up on my desk and say “OH CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN!”
Epic. Moment. Clap.
You are a rock star. Thank you for being such an incredible inspiration and for being a teacher. The world needs more teachers like you.
Yes! It’s all a matter of perspective (and attitude!). Loved this.
P.S. New reader! Hi!
I really wish I had you as a teacher when I was going through school. This attitude would have seriously changed my life. It won’t be as simple to implement this mindset now, but I’m certainly going to try.
[...] Loved this post from Brandy about making your failures epic. [...]
This is the sort of post I really need to read right now, so thanks Brandy!
THIS.
LOVE this post! We at NO Excuses Radio LOVE and encourage failing big…because every failure brings you closer to a massive win!
Loved this post Brandy! I loveeee that you gave me a homework assignment too!
[...] making your failures epic. Failing does not equal failure. I remind my students of this before every quiz. Before each test, [...]
[...] Loved this post from Brandy about making your failures epic. [...]
You are a truly great writer Brandy. I took a risk a few weeks ago and let the crazy in love thoughts that I’d been thinking for months come tumbling out of my mouth and those three little words affected my relationship in a completely non-desirable way. The ensuing weeks were uncomfortable and my (now ex) boyfriend decided, in the kindest way that someone can make such a decision, that he couldn’t be in a relationship if he wasn’t 100%, however I don’t regret saying how I felt. I know I was true to myself, even though a great big chunk of me feels as though I’ve completely and utterly failed. This post makes me feel that at least I failed spectacularly, in a way that got someboday else and myself contemplating what we really want.
I have been reading your blog for quite awhile. Sorry for not commenting :)
This post really struck a chord with me because it’s a huge issue for me.
But, my son is in grade 2 and he’s dealing with some major anxiety issues. It’s heartbreaking. (and I’m so unequipped as a mother! I had him young. I’m still learning. Geez).
We were away on vacation and he was struggling so much and all I could think of was this post.
So, I found a room us a computer (hard – when were staying in a colonial town that celebrates doing everything 1700′s style), and we read this together. And we decided to stop being so incredibly worried about life – and just figure it all out.
So. thank you. You have no idea how much we both needed to hear this. And I wanted you to know it’s resonated with me since you posted it!
Totally awesome!Can I put this on my wall? Show it it to all my (four) kids?
‘Failing is not failure’- divine thought:)Thanks:)
[...] Make Your Failures Epic: a good reason to try things you might not win at, and try them wholeheartedly. [...]