I know I’m not alone in feeling like Life is heavy these days.
I keep trying to find positives, to talk myself up into a good mood- then I feel regretful, as though by marvelling at the deliciousness of french toast or singing to a good song on the radio, I’m not showing enough reverence and respect to how the world currently stands.
To what has happened.
Which then makes me feel guiltier than before.
It’s a vicious cycle of feeling low, then building up to a good mood then feeling guilty about the good mood. Eventually I crawl into bed with some granola and a fervent wish to stop feeling. Period.
But eventually I run out of granola and I remember that no one ever grew stronger by lamenting on how weak they feel. Change doesn’t come by just voicing your wish for it. I remember that moving on doesn’t mean you aren’t showing respect- sometimes you have to get up off your knees, stop praying and start doing something. Like donating to causes that support the prevention of gun violence and that support those who struggle with mental health issues. Like taking time on a Sunday night be thankful for what still exists, however superficial it might seem.
Ten Things That Are Good
1. My family. As dysfunctional as we are, they are mine and I am theirs and together we would create a reality show that would make the Kardashians seem tame.
2. Any animal in a Halloween costume.
3. Coconut in any form. I like it in my shampoo, on my yogurt, in my chocolate, slathered on my legs. Is there anything better than this miracle food?
4. My job. As an elementary school teacher, I have the best job in the world and wouldn’t trade my career for anything. (Even if I got offered a full time gig as an
tequila ice cream taster). It’s immensely satisfying and my kids are the most brilliant, engaging and inspiring people I know. I cannot wait to go to work tomorrow.
5. Macy Beyonce Lyman (Also known as the best dog in the history of dogs. Also known as the sole reason I have an instagram account).
6. My friends. Whether I see you daily, weekly, once a month or once a year- I know the best people. The texts and phone calls and emails from my friends are always full of wit and charm, empathy and brilliance. I’m thankful every day for the people I know.
7. Quotes that keep me going. A few that I’ve repeated to myself lately:
- “What matters the most is how well you walk through fire.”- Charles Bukowski
- “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.”- Pema Chodron
- “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. What the world needs is people who have come alive.” -H Thurman
- “It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.”- Roy E Disney
8. The daily practice of saying three “I am” statements. This has changed me tremendously by altering the daily inner dialogue I have with myself. I’m learning to be less Regina George to myself and I couldn’t be more grateful.
9. Thai food. Especially Thai food that involves squid as long as you don’t tell me it’s squid when I’m eating it.
10. Homeland & Scandal. The two television shows that make me feel every feeling. Okay, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. WHATEVER.
What is good in your life right now?