I just wanted a Pippa Middleton moment.
I’ve never had a note worthy ass. There is not a lot of junk in my trunk and I’ve been in awe of a great booty since Destiny’s Child first started singing about them. Magazines told me that with a personal trainer and a solid two hour (DAILY) work out, I could proudly have a rear to rival my favourite Kardashian. But I like free time and I don’t have a personal trainer and let’s get real- I’m a bit lazy. So I had gently told myself that living bootylicious-less in the world …READ MORE
I’m a teacher.
I spend one thousand, three hundred and twenty three hours a year with kids.
I have taught every grade from two to eight. I don’t have a doctorate and I’ve never written a book but I do feel like when it comes to working with kids, I have some insight. I’m sure there’s a secret teacher handbook sitting on some shelf somewhere that says “DO NOT TELL PEOPLE OUR SECRETS”, but I think there are certain things that parents should know. And would make the world run ten thousand times better.
Secret #1: Of course we have …READ MORE
Growing up, I was friends with two really interesting twins. While I was rocking a mushroom cut and Club Monaco sweatshirt, these two girls were shaving their heads and wearing lots of mesh, camo and elaborate necklaces with snake charms. While my mom gave me tylenol for a headache, their mom practiced Reiki and ancient herbal medicines to curb body pains. My home was a standard homage Pottery Barn, their house was a collection of Star Wars collectibles, exotic pets and crystals the size of pre-schoolers. Sleepovers were an exercise in restraint as I practiced acting nonchalant as they fed …READ MORE
Last year I went to BiSC (check the previous post if you don’t know what this. And no, this isn’t going to be another plea for me to get my ticket paid for. ALTHOUGH I’D REALLY LIKE IT IF I WON THAT CONTEST) and I admit- I did something for that trip I never thought I’d do.
And up until this second, I have never told anyone.
When I went to Vegas, I went with hair extensions.
And right now you are all- eye rolling and saying “girl, please. I thought you were going to give up something juicy like …READ MORE
(inspired by one of my *favourites)
I’m thinking of blaming Nike (because after my last globalization class, I like to blame them for everything that’s wrong with the world) or all the pastel colored chick lit books that line my shelves. Or maybe I should just blame Sarah Palin because really, I enjoy blaming her for everything.
More seriously (because really, anything is more serious than Sarah Palin), I think it might be a generational thing. The idea that being afraid of anything, admitting regrets or fears is a weakness. We worked so hard to become leaders and college grads …READ MORE
I have a blog?
What wonderful news!
Seriously though, the last month has been a whirlwind of pie baking and sleepovers and dress freakouts and pictures posed while modeling 1 am lush flush. There’s been swimming in clear water, fighting grasshoppers and napping under trees. There’s been last minute speech meltdowns and celebratory high fives. There’s been gasps over the dress, sighs over the kiss and a successful mission to recapture a flower girl gone rogue.
Originally, my plan was to try and keep life sane while preparing to watch my best friend get married- though eventually through …READ MORE
Let’s just start out by saying this. I’m not 100% percent bitter, only about 83%. And not at all moms. Just 31% of them. But a title called “Why I’m 83% Bitter at 31% of Moms” gave my math phobic self severe heart palpitations.
One of my favourite bloggers once said “everyone has something”, a statement referring to the idea that each person is going through their own battle- a notion that has really hit home with me in the last few months. Bloggers with children are no exception. I read a lot of blogs of women in their 30′s and …READ MORE
I was thinking tonight about how I don’t know how to swim. I’ve always felt like this was a handicap, something that prevented me from living a life of glamorous weekend getaways, cuddling with Phelps abs (not his face, just his abs), fully appreciating the cuteness that is showcased every spring in the swimwear section of J.Crew. I’ve always seen it as a horrible flaw- yet one I’m too scared to overcome.
I’ve never experienced cancer like I am right now. I’ve never had a family member or friend get diagnosed, I’ve never felt engulfed like I do now. Submerged …READ MORE
I know. I knoooooooooow. We are only 12 days into the new year and already I’m going to bust my enlightened self all on your ass. But you know, I’ve had entire years where the total learning experiences has culminated in learning: 1. The darker the liquor the more likely you are going to want to stab yourself the next morning 2. When your stack of jeans is almost taller of you, it’s time to stop buying 3. Using your student loan to buy jeans will result in you wanting to stab yourself for 5 years after you graduate.
All …READ MORE