That time I bought a fake ass from Bethenny Frankel

I just wanted a Pippa Middleton moment.

I’ve never had a note worthy ass. There is not a lot of junk in my trunk and I’ve been in awe of a great booty since Destiny’s Child first started singing about them. Magazines told me that with a personal trainer and a solid two hour (DAILY) work out, I could proudly have a rear to rival my favourite Kardashian. But I like free time and I don’t have a personal trainer and let’s get real- I’m a bit lazy. So I had gently told myself that living bootylicious-less in the world …READ MORE

Giuliana Rancic, Anger & My Clean Bathroom

Everything came to a point today when I told Giuliana Rancic that her tweet was dumb and she sounded shallow. Sure, I said it differently, but that’s what I was feeling when she told her 2,152,611 followers to compliment people today and then only gave examples that related to appearance.

I’m not sure why I even gave it a second thought but before I knew it- I was steaming about it. I promptly replied that it sounded like a great idea but complimenting someone on something besides their appearance might make it even better.  And then I thought about it …READ MORE

It doesn’t make sense but the good stuff usually doesn’t

I recently had a  rattlesnake of a woman kind and helpful lady tell me that ‘women wear lipstick, girls wear lip gloss‘ WHILE I WAS PUTTING ON LIP GLOSS. Needless to say, her views on FLAVORED lip gloss had her making the face people usually reserve for when they find an old dirty diaper in the backseat of their car. Thankfully, I’m so in love with this: I didn’t care what she said. I almost have an orgasm when I put it on my lips. Well, I’m sure a dude would love it if that happened but I’m just …READ MORE

It took three bloggers to finish this meme

I know. That title is such a hook. You are dying to read this aren’t you? The word ‘meme’ always gets the people flocking.

Let me tell you a little story. There’s that “letter” meme going around (that isn’t the story, stay with me, I promise this tale gets SCINTILLATING), Beth gave Matt the letter “D”. Then, I complained to Matt that I had nothing interesting to blog about (yes, these are the things I say in gchat conversations, doesn’t it make you want to find me so we can talk RIGHT NOW?), so Matt gave ME his letter. Because …READ MORE

2008: The one every blogger should must read

The last of the best/worst of 2008. The genius of this list is that it’s not really date specific, these Boo Boo’s will still drive me (and I suspect Nilsa, the lovely author of this list) bonkers in 2009. Enjoy and have a good weekend!

TOP 5 WORST BLOGGING BOO BOOS by Nilsa

1) Blogs Without Feeds or Partial Feeds. Seriously, this is still allowed? Because I do all my blog reading from my reader. So, if I can’t follow you there, in all likelihood, I’m not following you at all! Even throwing me a bone of a few lines …READ MORE

The one where I make fun of blog about Twilight

First of all, if you haven’t read the book and plan on reading the book, just ignore this post. Or, if you’ve read the book and feel so strongly about the book that you’ve already emailed me to lodge a complaint against the comments I’ve yet to make (but are definitely coming)  mocking this book?  Help keep us both sane and skip this post.

It’s quite possible to like something and still feel the strong, undesirable urge to make fun of it. That pretty much is the basis for my relationship with my brother- or why I’m still watching the …READ MORE

The road to hell is paved with incidents where I yell at the elderly

Today I yelled at an elderly saleswoman who looked as though if she could have clubbed me and hidden the body, she would have.

It started out simply enough. I wanted to return a book. Two days ago, my brother bought me “Obama Nation” by Jerome Corsi. I hadn’t really heard anything about it, but did a little research and found that he’s the same author who started the “swiftboat” movement against John Kerry. I also found that the book is filled with half truths and misrepresentations- including the idea that Obama might be doing cocaine as a senator, when …READ MORE

Tequila, Batman & Silk Dresses

I ate breakfast while watching the tide. I had lazy sleeps under a hut. I got over my life long fear of swimming and swam every night in the ocean while counting stars and satellites. I drank tequila and clapped along to the mariachi band. I walked down broken streets in a silk dress while it rained. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. More than once.

I discovered that girls are their own worst enemy. That too many women will allow judgment to ruin their holiday, insecurity to ruin their night. I burnt my nose so …READ MORE

if you’re lucky

It’s funny how this blogging thing can connect us to others in a way that we never really imagined. The people we meet, the friends we make, from all over the freaking world, it’s kind of amazing, right? I mean you go into blogging probably because you have an affinity for writing, you have something to say, you want to get your words out of your mind and out there, and something else happens as a really good side benny, if you’re lucky. Someone from somewhere far away (like Canada!) stumbles across your blog or you fall upon her’s first, …READ MORE

Finding myself by copying and pasting

This is my second attempt at this post.

My first one was long winded and filled with deep thoughts on traveling and exploring and (wait for it… ) finding yourself. I swear. It had so many mentions of the word “journey” it could have been a script for a reality television show. There may have even been some Mark Twain action going on (see? I told you. Long-winded. I have it on good authority that it’s impossible to write a post that involves Twain and have it NOT be long winded), but I had to delete it.

Why?

Because you …READ MORE