1. I don’t drink smoothies. I mean, I WANT to drink them. Every person I know raves about them on the daily. But let’s face it. I’m lazy as hell. And smoothies involve peeling and chopping and slicing and giving a fuck. Smoothies are like, french braids or completed crosswords done in pen. You want to show off that you’ve completed it but there’s a level of effort involved that no one wants to talk about. I slice a lemon into my naglene and think I’m channeling Eric Ripert.
2. I skipped the Grammy Awards because I don’t need another …READ MORE
So first of all, if you break out into hives when someone whispers the word “Kardashian”, this post is not for you. But here, look at my cute puppy before you go:
You want to see how adorable Macy is in her harness she wears because her walking speed is Mach 5? Okay! One more:
Now that you feel that you’ve swallowed a rainbow of happiness, you may leave.
Let’s just get it out in the open- I like Kim Kardashian. I think she’s a smart business woman and is ridiculously talented at knowing how to …READ MORE
So let’s get to the most important part of this post first.
Am I the only one in love with Jeff and Jordan?
Okay, that took me over an hour to get that picture up there. Because I got sucked into spoiler websites and NOW I KNOW WHO WINS POV THIS WEEK. NOOOOOOOOOO. It’s like unwrapping your Christmas presents before Christmas. You WANT to know, but you don’t really want to know. Sigh. I need someone to take the internet away from me.
But back to my favourite people on television. These two are …READ MORE
Everything came to a point today when I told Giuliana Rancic that her tweet was dumb and she sounded shallow. Sure, I said it differently, but that’s what I was feeling when she told her 2,152,611 followers to compliment people today and then only gave examples that related to appearance.
I’m not sure why I even gave it a second thought but before I knew it- I was steaming about it. I promptly replied that it sounded like a great idea but complimenting someone on something besides their appearance might make it even better. And then I thought about it …READ MORE
Fact: I will be unable to tell people I’m going to a Taylor Swift concert this week without squealing like I’m a 14 year old girl. Which is perfect really, because that would make me fit into her actual demographic. (Related fact: This might be the cutest video ever. I’m only glad that I’m watching it at 28 years old instead of 14 years old because it would have just set unrealistic standards of what high school love is like. Not like now… now I watch The Notebook weekly to make sure my expectations are unreasonable.)
Fact: I should be …READ MORE
Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t written that book I sometimes talk about. Sometimes I wonder how come I don’t have time to practice juggling or learn how to speak French or find a few minutes to deep condition my hair. Then I realize, I spend my free time doing stuff like this:
That’s right. It’s a flow chart based on “The Hills”. That I created for a friend who acts like he doesn’t want to watch it but who I know SECRETLY DOES. I’m not going to lie, I hate myself a little for knowing so much …READ MORE
I got a few emails today asking where The Secret Project was. The truth is, submissions have slowed so I’m going to post once a month. I have to say, The Secret Project is such a treat for me to share. There were some secrets that made me cry, ones that made me laugh out loud, ones that broke my heart into eleventy thousand pieces- and there was one secret someone shared that was one that I kept too. And checking my inbox and finding that someone else had gone through something I had? Well, it was …READ MORE
1. 99.89% of the nicknames that have ever been bestowed upon me.
3. The Hills.
5. Coming home after a vacation.
6. Chick flicks.
8. Eating vegetables.
9. Christmas shopping.
11. Soul Decision.
12. Mud Puddles.
13. Getting Older.
14. Airplane Food.
15. Dr. Phil.
It’s taken me 27 years to fully accept this but I’m finally there. I never wanted to be current Meg Ryan (I like the size of my lips just fine), I always had hopes of being Meg Ryan of yesterday. You know, “When Harry Met Sally” Meg Ryan or even better “When You’ve Got Mail” Meg Ryan. When people see her in those movies they throw around words like ‘adorable’ and ‘endearing’ and who doesn’t want to be that? Plus she was the poster girl for how quirky could be sexy. And when you are 5″2, clumsy and don’t own …READ MORE