I ate a bagel yesterday and now my stomach feels like there’s glass in it and invisible people are using it as a trampoline.
Gluten is such an asshole.
In other far cooler news- check out the project Peter and I are working on. In a word? Mind blowing.
Okay, ‘mind blowing’ is two words. Don’t blame me for my inability to count correctly. Blame this bastard bagel that is ruining my insides. I suspect my stomach feels how Amy Winehouse’s liver must feel. Angry and wanting to collapse on itself like a dying star.
The Secret Project will be …READ MORE
I’ve mentioned in the past that before I realized that a person could just randomly write stuff for the internet to read, I was big on mass emailing my every thought to everyone on my email list. This included my manifestos. That’s right. Every summer, I would write a summer manifesto detailing what exactly I wanted to accomplish that summer. And I did it without wearing a potato sack or complaining about capitalism.
I was re-reading one of them and decided it was too ridiculous brilliant to not share. So here (in part) is my Summer 2004 Manifesto. I’m …READ MORE
I suffer from self-inflicted and immense pressure to write something MEMORABLE! and THOUGHTFUL! and FUNNY! when it’s the first post of the new year. And after the excessive champagne and 7-11 hot dog consumption of this past holiday season, I don’t really have the ‘oomph’ in me to write something like that. I’m slowly learning that 7-11 meat products are not good for me. Or my soul. Knowing I had nothing interesting to say, I asked some of my all-time favourite bloggers to reflect on and write up their own best/worst lists of 2008.
So, throughout the month of January, …READ MORE
There are moments where I feel like I really am teaching. Surprisingly, they don’t happen often. Between the morning routines, the review, the paint spills, recess time, field trips, class presentations, if I catch a single glimpse of a child experiencing an ‘ah-ha!’ learning moment in a day, I feel lucky.
I got up this morning to teach one of my favorite groups of kids. A grade two class of eighteen very unique students who often make me laugh out loud. It was the block before lunch when one of my favorites came up to me and in a very …READ MORE
Someone tagged me for this but I didn’t keep track of who. So, if you were the lovely lady (or lad) who did- let me know and I will link to you and give you all the credit you deserve. Because of you the world will know exactly why I dislike snakes.
I’m not feeling 100% today, (check out the letter “R” for a better understanding of why) so I’m phoning it in with a meme. Let’s still be friends though okay? A. Attached or Single? Single. Because Josh Lyman won’t return my calls.
B. Best Friend? I feel …READ MORE
Don’t date boys named Teddy. Always buy the shoes. Be the first person to say sorry. Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Whitehorse is the capital of Yukon (a white horse= unicorn, sounds like Yukon). Frying an onion is the quickest way to make your kitchen smell like dinner.Keep your hand flat when you feed a horse. Bigger sunglasses are always better. Teddy Cannon will always be trouble. Moisturize. Count to ten before you say something you regret- and if you are still mad, count higher. Wear red. Give more than you want and you will get more than you need. When …READ MORE
10 minutes ago I got this email:
“I’ve never left a comment before but I read you all the time. I’m sorry you are feeling so shitty, I hope you feel better soon. I thought I would tell you though, you’ve lost my vote for funniest blog. Your last few blogs haven’t been funny at all!1! Sorry tho, you still should keep writing!!*hugs!*- alexis
And can I tell you something? I laughed out loud. So Alexis… wherever you are? Thank you. That was the best email I got all day.
Sooooooo it’s been a ________ week. (Insert whatever word you want in there, I have a situation that would fit). A happy week? Sure, I got a cupcake. A sad week? Yep, that works too. A busy week? Check. A strange week? That fits. A memorable week? Absolutely. Productive? Of course. Lazy? Ohhh yes. There were moments of sloth-like behavior that shocked even me.
With such a week of ups and downs, highs and lows, comes a few memorable lines uttered by yours truly. None of these little chestnuts were uttered before last week and I’m pretty sure I will …READ MORE
So Nablopomo has officially kicked off. I know this because suddenly my google reader is no longer my friend but instead an evil device created to remind me of everything I’m not reading.
I’ve decided that because I’m too lazy busy to participate, I should still give the universe a little something on this- the first day of November.
So it’s with much love I present you all with this. Me sharing this is a big deal. Huge. Remember how selfish I usually am? I found this video and thought of keeping it for myself, because it’s that good. …READ MORE
There is one thing that Mary Poppins Julie Andrews and Oprah have in common. They both have a love of sharing a few of their favourite things. Mary Julie did it in song (side-note: out of everything in the world… BROWN PAPER PACKAGES tied up with string makes her list of FAVOURITE THINGS?? WTF Mary Julie?! A brown paper parcel does it for you?? Something tells me Poppins Andrews was the kid in school who was easily amused by a ball of string, but I digress) and Oprah does it every year with her ‘favourite things show’, in which lucky …READ MORE