For reasons I will never be able to articulate, I seem to swing violently between being 100% confident in my life and my choices and the direction I’m going- to the other extreme, 100% puddle on the kitchen floor, all emo with mascara stains on my cheeks feeling like I have yet to make a right choice and my life is doomed for failure before I hit thirty. There’s no in between, no grey area, no room to stretch- to accept that some choices might have been successes while others were failures. I paint everything with the same brush: it’s …READ MORE
I’m a simple girl. I like jeans and flip flops and ponytails. I like chicken and potatoes and saying what you mean and beer. Oh, how I adore beer.
I didn’t grow up a beer lover. In fact, I once avoided beer like it was the guy who’s ten years older than everyone else at the grad party. Then, I met Trout, went to Europe where beer was cheaper than a hooker who’s late paying rent, came back poor and realized that 4 beers could do what took 9 *monkeys lunches to do. Meaning, four beers could provide me with …READ MORE
November 2006- Start my blog. On a whim. Because I’m killing time before going on a date. My first post talks about how bloggers are pretentious (no really, it does) and how I’m scared no one is going to read my blog. And then, because I’m afraid no one WILL read my blog, I attach my blog url to my email so every “real life” friend will have access to it. (I later refer to this “Blogging Mistake #1“).
November 2006- December 2006= No one reads my blog and I do not understand why. Doesn’t the internet know I exist?
I’m searching to find the laugh inside me right now. After writing yesterdays post where I started off discussing my WORST MORNING EVER, I awoke this morning with the smell of dog vomit in my nostrils.
I’m dog sitting right now and it would appear that my 4 legged sidekick is fighting some sort of gastrointestinal bug. Because the entire house that I’m living in while I watch this dog, was covered with both vomit and diarrhea at 4 am this morning. COVERED. As in, there was so much expelled waste everywhere, I have to assume she didn’t do this on …READ MORE
I was sorting through a bin of apple pears (if you have not had one, you have not lived) trying to find the best ones to put in my already bulging bag, when I heard…
” Just go over there, don’t be shy- she’ll know who you are”
I looked around and didn’t see anyone I knew so I continued choosing pears. I touched them all, running my eyes over their golden skin for bruises, running my fingers along their surface for soft spots. I put two more in my bag, stretching the plastic around their bulging bodies, when I …READ MORE
So, I’m nominated for an award! A big one. One with a prize. A $250 Visa gift card. And I thought about playing it cool, not saying anything and having conversations that went like this:
Person who notices I’m up for an award: BRANDY! You are up for a chance to win $250!
Me: Oh what? Oh yes, I noticed. It would be nice to win for sure, but I’m really trying to focus on what to do about growing tensions in the Middle East. Monetary gifts and prizes mean nothing to me. The greatest reward in life is teaching …READ MORE
I could write about how I’m not looking forward to Friday. If I was feeling very brave, I could confess how I almost canceled the job because I’m worried the whole thing will depress the funk into me. I could write about how my fall clothes are feeling a little too tight, my finances are a little shaky or about how I haven’t had a good hair day in weeks. I could rant about how everything on my sidebar keeps disappearing and I don’t know where it goes. I could write about how it still bothers me that my dad …READ MORE
“You know, I’ve been criticized for saying he inspires me. To hell with my critics” – Chris Matthews
All the rest is here. And it’s brilliant.
Update: PALIN???? That’s ridiculous.
I’m walking the fine line between being 27 years old and feeling like I’m 7 years old.
It’s my 27th birthday on Friday and it’s circled on my calendar= 27 years old
- with pink crayon= 7 years old
I’m finding it hard to get excited for my birthday this year= 27 years old
- but I keep telling people about it= 7 years old
I’ve asked for an old school pink bike, complete with basket = 7 years old
I’m thinking of getting warranty for it= 27 years old
I jumped up and down when I overheard my mom …READ MORE
I ate breakfast while watching the tide. I had lazy sleeps under a hut. I got over my life long fear of swimming and swam every night in the ocean while counting stars and satellites. I drank tequila and clapped along to the mariachi band. I walked down broken streets in a silk dress while it rained. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. More than once.
I discovered that girls are their own worst enemy. That too many women will allow judgment to ruin their holiday, insecurity to ruin their night. I burnt my nose so …READ MORE