January 28th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, and now you might know everything, are you there God? It's me- ripping off Judy Blume, confession of the day, friends, heaven, i can't believe i said that, i should be a P.S.A., introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it makes sense to me, it's okay- you can skim this one, karma is going to get you, life lesson, seriously, the george, thinking, today i am not funny, when i say it anyway, youth When I was in grade one, I had a reading partner named Claire. Claire and I would choose our favorite books and share a tired, orange beanbag at the back of the classroom. We would read each other the stories and if we tired of reading, we would make up our own versions, which would always include cotton candy and/or a magical unicorn named Rusty.
One day, while sitting with Claire, I farted. Claire first looked surprised, then she started to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she told me I was going to hell. God didn’t let …READ MORE
August 10th, 2008 in adventure, Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, don't hate me for this, friends, happiness, heaven, hello universe? I love you, i love fragment sentences, i wish i was water, it happened this week, it was a dance dance revolution, something I won't forget, travel, what i found when i went looking I ate breakfast while watching the tide. I had lazy sleeps under a hut. I got over my life long fear of swimming and swam every night in the ocean while counting stars and satellites. I drank tequila and clapped along to the mariachi band. I walked down broken streets in a silk dress while it rained. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. More than once.
I discovered that girls are their own worst enemy. That too many women will allow judgment to ruin their holiday, insecurity to ruin their night. I burnt my nose so …READ MORE
March 5th, 2008 in Bill Schneider wears a lot of funny hats, celiacs, confession of the day, disappointment, don't hate me for this, heaven, i complain because I care, i hate it when i blog about blogging, i know too much about magnets, i love fragment sentences, I should be sleeping, I've fallen into a funk and I can't get up, is it weird this makes me cry?, lists, politics, pretty hair makes me happier, school, secrets, seriously, Slyvia Path has nothing on me, swimming in a sea of self pity, the george, the J.O.B., today i am not funny, when i say it anyway, when it doesn't go my way, who needs a self help book?, work I never wanted to be that blogger who has a google reader number that’s closer to a thousand than zero, but here I am.
I never wanted to be the daughter who would avoid her fathers calls, but here I am.
I never wanted to be a teacher who uses stickers as bribes when she’s at the end of her rope and thinking of tying a noose, but here I am.
I never wanted to be the person who started off every sentence ” I’m so exhausted I can’t…”, but here I am.
I never wanted to be person who …READ MORE
November 1st, 2007 in advice, blogs, genius, happiness, heaven, just do what i say, love or something like it, men, testing egans brain, the world according to me, tip of the day, what the hell So Nablopomo has officially kicked off. I know this because suddenly my google reader is no longer my friend but instead an evil device created to remind me of everything I’m not reading.
Seriously.
I’ve decided that because I’m too lazy busy to participate, I should still give the universe a little something on this- the first day of November.
So it’s with much love I present you all with this. Me sharing this is a big deal. Huge. Remember how selfish I usually am? I found this video and thought of keeping it for myself, because it’s that good. …READ MORE
In heaven there will be applesauce, high top sneakers and duvets. You won’t need to give explanations, or apologies or change for a dollar. There will be no alarm clocks or tube socks or allergies to gluten. Friendships and milk will never sour with age. You will never lose the reciept, your sanity, or a bet with your brother. Stamps will be free. You won’t have the same argument, with the same person, in the same way for years on end. In fact- you won’t argue at all.
Oh, and green gummy bears? They will fall from the sky like …READ MORE
I stamped my boarding pass into heaven this past holiday season with my open mind and willingness to have coffee with people formerly known as people formerly known as “the devils worker bees”. It ended up being a Grand Canyon of a mistake. The wrong kind of regret. However, the effort put into it was something to be admired (and rewarded with a shiny medal of courage and restraint) and I took comfort in knowing that such mistakes do not happen a third time. No God, however cruel, would allow a trifecta of mistakes of this magnitude to occur- that …READ MORE
|
quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
|
