So first of all, if you break out into hives when someone whispers the word “Kardashian”, this post is not for you. But here, look at my cute puppy before you go:
You want to see how adorable Macy is in her harness she wears because her walking speed is Mach 5? Okay! One more:
Now that you feel that you’ve swallowed a rainbow of happiness, you may leave.
Let’s just get it out in the open- I like Kim Kardashian. I think she’s a smart business woman and is ridiculously talented at knowing how to …READ MORE
(inspired by one of my *favourites)
I’m thinking of blaming Nike (because after my last globalization class, I like to blame them for everything that’s wrong with the world) or all the pastel colored chick lit books that line my shelves. Or maybe I should just blame Sarah Palin because really, I enjoy blaming her for everything.
More seriously (because really, anything is more serious than Sarah Palin), I think it might be a generational thing. The idea that being afraid of anything, admitting regrets or fears is a weakness. We worked so hard to become leaders and college grads …READ MORE
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Hello internet! So, it’s the last day of 2009, and I thought I’d lighten the mood.
A few weeks ago, the ‘hot awesome dude’ (aka: H.A.D) decided he wanted to share with the internet things I taught him in 2009. I was overjoyed with this idea. Of cooourse I wanted a list that showcased how life changing and awesome I am. Instead, he decided that he should cull allll the ridiculous things I said in 2009 and make them into a little list for him to re-read and giggle over like a school girl asked to prom. (He’s going to …READ MORE
Sometimes I wonder what the point of an ‘undo send’ option in gmail is if it only lasts like, 2.4 seconds. I mean, people don’t tend to regret emails they send that quickly. They usually wait longer- minutes go by before they realize that they sent something that although is 100% true, is also 100% cringe worthy and they would gladly gnaw off their limbs to be able to crawl through the internet and get back their email from the clutches of the receivers inbox. Not so they could never send an email- but just so they could re-word it …READ MORE
When I was in grade one, I had a reading partner named Claire. Claire and I would choose our favorite books and share a tired, orange beanbag at the back of the classroom. We would read each other the stories and if we tired of reading, we would make up our own versions, which would always include cotton candy and/or a magical unicorn named Rusty.
One day, while sitting with Claire, I farted. Claire first looked surprised, then she started to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she told me I was going to hell. God didn’t let …READ MORE
Before I begin this tale, I want to tell you why I’m reliving one of the worst mornings of my entire life. This particular morning beats the time I fake slept my way out of an awkward “hey, wake up! I think I love you” conversation with a charming but completely not for me man who was curled up beside me. It beats the morning I woke up in Barcelona after consuming enough vodka to sedate a large herd of bison. It beats the morning I woke up and realized I had a final university exam in two hours for …READ MORE
So first of all, thank you for all your well-wishes and crossed fingers/toes/internal organs regarding the job situation. It feels so nice to know that people all over the world (mostly the Mid-West US, but with a smattering of dedicated Russian subscribers who I suspect read solely for vodka references) are rooting for me. I will let you know how it goes. In fact, you will know if I get the job because I will probably write up some subtle post titled ” OMIGOD I GOT THE JOB WHHHHHHEEEEEEE!”, and if I don’t get the job, you won’t hear from …READ MORE
Today I yelled at an elderly saleswoman who looked as though if she could have clubbed me and hidden the body, she would have.
It started out simply enough. I wanted to return a book. Two days ago, my brother bought me “Obama Nation” by Jerome Corsi. I hadn’t really heard anything about it, but did a little research and found that he’s the same author who started the “swiftboat” movement against John Kerry. I also found that the book is filled with half truths and misrepresentations- including the idea that Obama might be doing cocaine as a senator, when …READ MORE