May 6th, 2012 in 30something, and now you might know everything, family, i love fragment sentences, I should be sleeping, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it makes sense to me, life lesson, lists, this is where I grew up, this one might be my favourite Growing up, I was friends with two really interesting twins. While I was rocking a mushroom cut and Club Monaco sweatshirt, these two girls were shaving their heads and wearing lots of mesh, camo and elaborate necklaces with snake charms. While my mom gave me tylenol for a headache, their mom practiced Reiki and ancient herbal medicines to curb body pains. My home was a standard homage Pottery Barn, their house was a collection of Star Wars collectibles, exotic pets and crystals the size of pre-schoolers. Sleepovers were an exercise in restraint as I practiced acting nonchalant as they fed …READ MORE
August 13th, 2011 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, i love fragment sentences, I need this on a t-shirt, i wrote this just for the picture, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., karma is going to get you, lists, picture therapy, proof i attract crazy, top 10, what i found when i went looking, when i say it anyway A few months ago, I wrote a post called “How To Not Be A Shitty Person“. People enjoyed it. In fact, I got a lot of thank you emails from people who decided to passively aggressively pass it on to the shitty people in their life. Basically, it was a situation where everyone ended up winning. Because winning feels good, I decided to do a follow up.
How To Not Be Bat Shit Crazy (or “b.s.c.”) Alternatively Titled: How To Be Someone People Don’t Dodge In The Hallway At Work
1. Vampires aren’t real so stop asking your husband to bite …READ MORE
March 31st, 2011 in advice, books i'm not writing, I don't know what day it is, i love fragment sentences, i should be a P.S.A., I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's always easier to say it than do it, it's ironic because I'm Canadian, lists, oh look! i have opinions., self improvement, the title says it all, the world according to me Let’s be clear. I didn’t come up with this list while quoting Gandhi and emptying out the entire contents of my bank account to give to a third world nation. I actually started this list to remind myself how I want to try and live. I easily get caught up in bad habits- and thought tattooing “STOP SWEARING LOUDLY WHILE SHAKING YOUR FIST AT BAD DRIVERS” to my forehead was extreme and a bit too long for my tiny forehead. So I wrote a list to remind myself of how to behave like a normal human being. Some people create …READ MORE
March 27th, 2011 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 20something, happiness, hello universe? I love you, I like annoying people by talking about how much i like comic sans, i love fragment sentences, i should be a cheerleader, i should be a P.S.A., I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it makes sense to me, it's almost like a meme, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, life lesson, love harder, right on my sleeve, the world according to me, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, you're skimming this one The best part about telling the internet everything about your life is that when you decide to pull a Yoda and drop down some knowledge bombs people can’t be all like ‘what the hell? what does this girl know?” because well, we know that some stuff has gone down.
Not that tragic events or celebratory moments automatically give someone a free stamp in the passport of Life- but I do find that when life kicks you squarely in the ladyparts or the universe gives you an unexpected high-five, a person tends to do a bit more reflection. Sure, it usually …READ MORE
It’s Tuesday right now.
Of course, you are reading this on a Wednesday. Or, if you are like me (and hate google reader), you are reading this 2 months from now on a lovely March day while preparing your liver for St. Patricks Day and stomach assaulting *Irish carbombs.
Either way. I’m writing this yesterday. (That sentence makes little sense but also blew my mind.)
So, the reason why I’m writing this a day before and using the romantic ability to plan a later publish date is on the day you read this I’m going to be in the hospital. …READ MORE
January 3rd, 2011 in a possible regret, because "guilt" is a dirty word, fingers crossed this works, help, I like annoying people by talking about how much i like comic sans, i love fragment sentences, i might be addicted to tags, i need to spend more time on spelling, I sound drunk but I assure you I am not, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, love harder, quote of the day, self improvement, swimming in a sea of self pity, the title says it all, today has been crummy, when i ask you to do things for me, you're skimming this one You know what the weird thing is? (Other than starting posts with a random question) It’s the fact that right now, my world is full of extremes. I’m either locking myself in the bathroom at work with the taps running so people can’t hear me cry or I’m stifling a laugh when one of my students comes to school with a stuffed rodent and proclaims to everyone “Get over here and touch my beaver! I’ve got the softest beaver in the wooooooooorld“. The downside of course, is that a second after you catch yourself smiling, you feel guilty. Like being …READ MORE
October 22nd, 2009 in advice, because I can't do report cards 24/7, blogs, brookem is awesome!, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, earning my dork badge, i know- we all LOVE him, i love fragment sentences, i may write about the west wing forever, i think my sweetness gave you a cavity, i wrote this just for the picture, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it makes sense to me, people i like, the last line is my favourite, the title says it all, the world according to me, top 10, you're skimming this one I was feeling listy. It was either this or “Ten Swear Words I Said Today Before 9 am“- I really was going to go with that one but three of them made me blush, that’s why I’m going with this. And before anyone complains, yes- I feel that blogging for almost three years (*holey cheese!) makes me a certified expert on blogging even if I a) don’t own my own domain b) have yet to make single dollar off my blog (but I have got a lot of free stuff?) c) have a nervous breakdown every time I try and …READ MORE
September 22nd, 2009 in and no you can't say world peace, hello universe? I love you, here is my heart, i love fragment sentences, i need to spend more time on spelling, i second that emotion, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it happened this week, it makes sense to me, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, life lesson, other people say it better, question of the day, school, so sappy it hurts, the J.O.B., what i found when i went looking, you're skimming this one I don’t do maxi dresses (I’m too short) and I’m not really in love with granola (blame the granola binge of ’06), but the way I talk to my class sometimes, I’m sure I’m labeled the ‘hippie teacher’. We talk about feelings and goals and quotes that inspire us. We talk about why we are learning and how we are learning it and what we can do with the knowledge we are gaining. We sometimes talk about how what we learn in school just isn’t for school, it’s for life- that every piece of information we gather is to help …READ MORE
August 13th, 2009 in advice, Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, Dairy products make the world a better place, hello universe? I love you, i can't believe i have a football tag, i love fragment sentences, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, it makes sense to me, it's almost like a meme, life lesson, lists, man I'm such a girl, no i haven't gotten laid, oh look! i have opinions., other people say it better, self improvement, seriously, soapbox, the less i worry the happier i am, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the title says it all, the world according to me, top 10 (picture by me)
1. Flowers will never fix everything, but they sure as hell can’t hurt. (Unless they are my favourite flower- peonies and then let’s face it, they can fix everything).
2. When you are wrong, admit it. When you are sorry, say it. When you are in love, declare it.
3. Sometimes it just won’t go your way. And in those moments, it’s perfectly acceptable to stay in your pajamas, eat a lot of string cheese and watch Regis and Kelly (and secretly hate Kelly for being utterly perfect so early in the morning. Her arms! …READ MORE
August 11th, 2009 in AHHHHHHHHHHH!, and now you might know everything, confession of the day, hello universe? I love you, i love fragment sentences, it happened this week, let's not talk about how long this took, school, seriously, teaching, the title says it all, who's the boss now?, work I have a job.
An honest to goodness teaching job.
This year.
In a school.
Where I will go to the same classroom everyday and teach grade four students about reading and writing and how to not write run on sentences like this one.
I have a job.
(Also? If you want to make a difference and gain huge karma points- go here and see how you can help!)
Thank you so much for your kind words and emails everyone!
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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Writing to you from yesterday
It’s Tuesday right now.
Of course, you are reading this on a Wednesday. Or, if you are like me (and hate google reader), you are reading this 2 months from now on a lovely March day while preparing your liver for St. Patricks Day and stomach assaulting *Irish carbombs.
Either way. I’m writing this yesterday. (That sentence makes little sense but also blew my mind.)
So, the reason why I’m writing this a day before and using the romantic ability to plan a later publish date is on the day you read this I’m going to be in the hospital. …READ MORE