Tell Me I’m Normal

1. When I go to Starbucks,  I become irrationally worried that I’m going to forget my order. I will spend the entire time stuck in the drive thru saying my order on repeat.  But attempting to say it casually as well, so I don’t come off as a *robot. (Because yes, that’s a serious concern I have- people mistaking me for a robot). “Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate, Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate. Why yes, it IS cold out today. Oh you like my hair? Thank you! What would I like? Oh that’s easy, Venti, non-fat, …READ MORE

if you’re lucky

It’s funny how this blogging thing can connect us to others in a way that we never really imagined. The people we meet, the friends we make, from all over the freaking world, it’s kind of amazing, right? I mean you go into blogging probably because you have an affinity for writing, you have something to say, you want to get your words out of your mind and out there, and something else happens as a really good side benny, if you’re lucky. Someone from somewhere far away (like Canada!) stumbles across your blog or you fall upon her’s first, …READ MORE

What I’ve learned from yet another conversation about Pamela Anderson

So as some of you may remember, my mother and I recently got into a debate about ‘who was beautiful‘. I was more of a Natalie Portman/Angelina Jolie fan and my mom was more of a fan of Pamela Anderson.

We’ve since continued the debate. But before I bring you the latest installment, let me just show you what sort of judgment my mom has.

This picture here:

that’s me on the first day of kindergarten. You can’t see it, but I’m actually wearing lace tights- to match my lace and yellow coat (also sadly, not featured). I went …READ MORE

34 Degrees, 4 Dresses & 1 Question

I’m one of those annoying people who is always cold. I treasure sweaters, collect wool socks and hog blankets without shame. But this week my world has changed.  I’ve spent this last few days laying on floor- marveling at the genius of fans, ice cubes and cold showers.  I’ve been too hot to sleep, to write, to read, to spend time outside on patios. Let’s re-read that last one, I’VE BEEN TO HOT TO SPEND TIME ON PATIOS. Clearly, you see I’ve been dealing with a heat issue.

And now tonight, I’m dealing with a dress issue. The no-date dilemma …READ MORE

I get low with strangers on the dance floor

Ten Things I’ve Done Since The School Year Has Ended & I’ve Become An Unemployed Rockstar

(aka A Brief Review of the last week which has prompted me to become a dancing fool- reminiscent of my tender youth, complete with a renewed appreciation for embarrassing drinks- such as the monkey’s lunch)

1. Marveled at how kind you all are. The comments and emails from my this post have blown me away. It was a horrible day and I wrote without honestly expecting the feedback I got, but each comment, email, phone call really made a difference. I may …READ MORE

Mother Nature needs a beat down

I’m alive.

There were a few times in the last five days that I thought I was going to die. A few times I wished I would just die, and once or twice where I actively went looking for things that would put me out of my misery but alas- I’m still standing.

Remember last Friday I was driving 10 hours to read Shakespeare at a wedding? Yeah. I did that. Then I danced like I was famous, got pictures taken in front of the elaborate wedding ice sculpture and won $50 in the hotel’s casino at 3am with one …READ MORE

Ointment and Pure Seduction

Hi. Remember this? Let’s begin!

Greta-a-Sketch asked “What was your first kiss like?”

My first kiss was… wet. And I think I saw stars. Not because it was overly romantic, but because I had no idea that you were supposed to breathe while kissing. I sort of.. held my breath. And then when my ears started to pound I let out this big GASP! And the boy looked all pleased with himself like his kissing technique (of darting his tongue all over my mouth) had left me breathless. Men.

She also asked, in addition to phalanges, what other words do …READ MORE

I suspect countless tablecloths were killed in the making of this dress

To better understand my current aversion to lace, let’s take a walk down humiliation avenue memory lane. This is an example of a typical outfit I would change into in order to play with the dog. I was in grade 1 when this was taken, but I should have been bumped up a few classes. Because anyone who can pull off a trifecta of lace (tights, dress and the oh so nonchalant ribbon in the hair) with the demure sophistication shown in this photo, clearly deserves a doctorate in FASHION AWESOMENESS.

What the buck is about

This past weekend I was re-acquainted with my old friend BUCK HUNTER (and yes, it needs to all be in caps. Sort of like OBAMA!). After my shopping adventure (that would result in me getting everything on my list in one short day because my legs may be short, but when it comes to maneuvering through a crowd, I’m like a fighter jet), I went back to my friends house, had a shower, blow dried my hair and immersed myself in another hidden pleasure (other than BUCK HUNTER)- the drinking game.

Before you ask- yes, I’m out of school and …READ MORE

Hello Harlequin, here I come!

I’ve waxed on and on about all the reasons I like teaching. It’s amazing to be there when they first discover how to make the color orange, understand Shakespeare, realize that a string of random letters can make a word. That’s the good stuff that stays with you and counters things like head lice outbreaks, unruly parents kids and lame pay. But there’s also another reason I love teaching. All the crap works of art kids give you. I try to throw as much as possible away because I do not have the room (or want) to have stacks of …READ MORE