August 19th, 2012 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 98% of me thinks this is funny, and now you might know everything, beauty can get ugly, confession of the day, don't hate me for this, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., let's still be friends?, something I won't forget, this might be why I'm single, what the hell I just wanted a Pippa Middleton moment.
I’ve never had a note worthy ass. There is not a lot of junk in my trunk and I’ve been in awe of a great booty since Destiny’s Child first started singing about them. Magazines told me that with a personal trainer and a solid two hour (DAILY) work out, I could proudly have a rear to rival my favourite Kardashian. But I like free time and I don’t have a personal trainer and let’s get real- I’m a bit lazy. So I had gently told myself that living bootylicious-less in the world …READ MORE
August 6th, 2012 in advice, and now you might know everything, confession of the day, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), it's okay- you can skim this one, just do what i say, lists, school, soapbox, the J.O.B., the title says it all, when I go all Dr. Phil on you I’m a teacher.
I spend one thousand, three hundred and twenty three hours a year with kids.
I have taught every grade from two to eight. I don’t have a doctorate and I’ve never written a book but I do feel like when it comes to working with kids, I have some insight. I’m sure there’s a secret teacher handbook sitting on some shelf somewhere that says “DO NOT TELL PEOPLE OUR SECRETS”, but I think there are certain things that parents should know. And would make the world run ten thousand times better.
Secret #1: Of course we have …READ MORE
February 5th, 2012 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 98% of me thinks this is funny, and now you might know everything, beauty can get ugly, can you tell I've been reading NO FEAR t-shirts?, i should be a P.S.A., I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., let's still be friends?, mindful happiness, pretty hair makes me happier, self improvement, the less i worry the happier i am, when i say it anyway Last year I went to BiSC (check the previous post if you don’t know what this. And no, this isn’t going to be another plea for me to get my ticket paid for. ALTHOUGH I’D REALLY LIKE IT IF I WON THAT CONTEST) and I admit- I did something for that trip I never thought I’d do.
And up until this second, I have never told anyone.
When I went to Vegas, I went with hair extensions.
And right now you are all- eye rolling and saying “girl, please. I thought you were going to give up something juicy like …READ MORE
August 13th, 2011 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, i love fragment sentences, I need this on a t-shirt, i wrote this just for the picture, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., karma is going to get you, lists, picture therapy, proof i attract crazy, top 10, what i found when i went looking, when i say it anyway A few months ago, I wrote a post called “How To Not Be A Shitty Person“. People enjoyed it. In fact, I got a lot of thank you emails from people who decided to passively aggressively pass it on to the shitty people in their life. Basically, it was a situation where everyone ended up winning. Because winning feels good, I decided to do a follow up.
How To Not Be Bat Shit Crazy (or “b.s.c.”) Alternatively Titled: How To Be Someone People Don’t Dodge In The Hallway At Work
1. Vampires aren’t real so stop asking your husband to bite …READ MORE
May 30th, 2011 in a possible regret, adventure, because "guilt" is a dirty word, fingers crossed this works, games we play, i like scotch & table dancing, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, just say yes, lists, pretty hair makes me happier, self improvement, tequila consequences, the less i worry the happier i am
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So one of my friends emailed me this and it pretty much consumed me with reckless, uninhibited glee. Sort of like how you would feel if you were perched in Hawaii, taking a bath in chocolate sauce, listening to your favourite song after finding the Hope diamond in your sock drawer, when Ryan Reynolds comes in and offers to paint your nails. Shirtless.
As much as I adore lists- I’ve never been a “Life List” girl. My wants- my over the top suddenly I can’t die happy unless this happens, ultimate guide to unparalleled joy wants, change pretty regularly. If life …READ MORE
April 18th, 2011 in AGGRESSIVE eye rolling makes me mad, anger and I have sat down for tea, because I can't do report cards 24/7, confession of the day, don't hate me for this, famous people make for good gossip, i am slowly going crazy, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's ironic because I'm Canadian, my passive aggressiveness is devastating, sometimes i get violent, when i say it anyway Everything came to a point today when I told Giuliana Rancic that her tweet was dumb and she sounded shallow. Sure, I said it differently, but that’s what I was feeling when she told her 2,152,611 followers to compliment people today and then only gave examples that related to appearance.
I’m not sure why I even gave it a second thought but before I knew it- I was steaming about it. I promptly replied that it sounded like a great idea but complimenting someone on something besides their appearance might make it even better. And then I thought about it …READ MORE
March 31st, 2011 in advice, books i'm not writing, I don't know what day it is, i love fragment sentences, i should be a P.S.A., I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's always easier to say it than do it, it's ironic because I'm Canadian, lists, oh look! i have opinions., self improvement, the title says it all, the world according to me Let’s be clear. I didn’t come up with this list while quoting Gandhi and emptying out the entire contents of my bank account to give to a third world nation. I actually started this list to remind myself how I want to try and live. I easily get caught up in bad habits- and thought tattooing “STOP SWEARING LOUDLY WHILE SHAKING YOUR FIST AT BAD DRIVERS” to my forehead was extreme and a bit too long for my tiny forehead. So I wrote a list to remind myself of how to behave like a normal human being. Some people create …READ MORE
He meant “dishwasher”. We clarified when he brought it up to my desk for me to check.
See, the thing is, teaching 3 grade is the best. The kids are independent, they get your jokes (well most of them unless you try to tell something that doesn’t involve the words “knock knock”), yet they still want hugs and draw you pictures of flowers and a sun wearing sunglasses and tell you that you are the prettiest person in the world. (It would be wrong to argue with them).
So every so often we skip learning cursive (because daily cursive practice …READ MORE
January 3rd, 2011 in a possible regret, because "guilt" is a dirty word, fingers crossed this works, help, I like annoying people by talking about how much i like comic sans, i love fragment sentences, i might be addicted to tags, i need to spend more time on spelling, I sound drunk but I assure you I am not, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, love harder, quote of the day, self improvement, swimming in a sea of self pity, the title says it all, today has been crummy, when i ask you to do things for me, you're skimming this one You know what the weird thing is? (Other than starting posts with a random question) It’s the fact that right now, my world is full of extremes. I’m either locking myself in the bathroom at work with the taps running so people can’t hear me cry or I’m stifling a laugh when one of my students comes to school with a stuffed rodent and proclaims to everyone “Get over here and touch my beaver! I’ve got the softest beaver in the wooooooooorld“. The downside of course, is that a second after you catch yourself smiling, you feel guilty. Like being …READ MORE
June 6th, 2010 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, a possible regret, because "guilt" is a dirty word, confession of the day, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, I want to make Jim Halpert a mix tape, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., let's still be friends?, lists, music, right on my sleeve, soapbox, the Ex files, the one that nobody reads because of the title, when i say it anyway I know exactly when it happened.
My first year of university, I started dating this guy. A music guy. Who actually got watery eyed when he searched through my CD collection and found Now 4. And not only did he find that particular CD extremely and personally offensive, he found dozens more like it. In fact, he didn’t find a single CD to approve of in the mix of boy bands and mainstream pop.
Instead of defending my choices, I meekly listened as he raved about all the new, hip and obscure bands I had never heard of- that were …READ MORE
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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