February 5th, 2013 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 30something, 98% of me thinks this is funny, adventure, and then i cried, and then i laughed out loud, i should be a P.S.A., introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it's a long one (twss), it's not you it's me, men, no i haven't gotten laid, single girl stories, something I won't forget, these are the things that happen to me, this one might be my favourite, what the hell I went through a phase in my early teens when I was obsessed with jury selection (I mean, who DIDN’T have that phase?) and read every book possible on the topic. This was after the OJ Simpson case and I was convinced that the right jury would have REALIZED WHAT EVERYONE ELSE ALREADY KNEW. I became an expert on how to spot liars, identify psychopaths and establish who wants to wants to chop off your head and use it as a soup bowl so I was convinced I would be up for online dating.
I mean, isn’t that what it …READ MORE
November 12th, 2009 in and now you might know everything, because "guilt" is a dirty word, confession of the day, disappointment, here is my heart, i should be a P.S.A., i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, I've fallen into a funk and I can't get up, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it happened this week, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's not you it's me, life lesson, overwhelmed doesn't even begin..., right on my sleeve, something I won't forget, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the world according to me, this one is about you, when i say it anyway They didn’t tell you how fun blogging could be. How excited you would be when you got your first comment, when you saw your name on someone’s blogroll, when you plucked out a handful of words from the vast English language to make sentence you were proud to write. A sentence that you would re-read because you loved it so much, a sentence that would ring in your head and roll off your tongue like poetry. No, they didn’t tell you that.
They didn’t tell you about the community. My word, the community. The people you would meet, the friends …READ MORE
September 29th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, a possible regret, are you there God? It's me- ripping off Judy Blume, because "guilt" is a dirty word, confession of the day, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, i know- we all LOVE him, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it's not you it's me, it's okay- you can skim this one, Josh Lyman needs his own tag, lists, man I'm such a girl, oh dear, overwhelmed doesn't even begin..., pretty hair makes me happier, proof i attract crazy, things I don't say outloud, today has been crummy, when i ask you to do things for me, when i say it anyway, when it doesn't go my way, you're skimming this one I have a healthy ego. I regularly am delighted by my talents (like knowing all the words to this song – just for you Ben), nod in agreement when people tell me I’m great (I assure you, this is a little more adorable and far less annoying than I just made it sound), and marvel at my genius. But people? I’ve got faults. Heaps of them. Truckloads of them. So many that you could stack them up, climb on top of them and touch the moon with your fingertips.
See? I wasn’t kidding.
September has been an amazing month but …READ MORE
September 7th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, and now you might know everything, are you there God? It's me- ripping off Judy Blume, confession of the day, earning my dork badge, i complain because I care, it happened this week, it's not you it's me, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, lists, overwhelmed doesn't even begin..., school, the J.O.B., the one that nobody reads because of the title, these are the things that happen to me, you're skimming this one I was going to start this post as though I was dead and writing to you from the great beyond. But it was high on the creep factor and low on the funny (much like a guy I made many bad choices with). But I felt like I need to make some reference to death since I’ve started getting emails with- “ARE YOU DEAD?”. Which has caused to reflect on the fact that hey, I’m not dead. So I should write something to show that I AM alive, even if I’ve spent every waking moment of the last two weeks …READ MORE
June 17th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 20something, competition makes me crazy, confession of the day, i should be a P.S.A., i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, it makes sense to me, it's not you it's me, lists, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the title says it all, the world according to me, this is where I grew up, top 10, Wednesday nights make me frisky, when i say it anyway 1. I don’t need to spend a Saturday night hanging out with people who saw me during my “Mondetta Sweatshirt = Formal Wear” phase.
2. I still haven’t gotten over the fact that in the sixth grade my arch enemy told people I bought boys deodorant.
3. Umm… reunions are for catching up with people and finding out what they are doing with their lives. That’s what Facebook is for now. And I don’t have to make small talk while stalking. Win!
4. I saw my tenth grade crush the other day and he’s losing all his hair. Oh! And …READ MORE
January 12th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, advice, i love fragment sentences, i post dated this mofo!, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it's not you it's me, life lesson, men, my passive aggressiveness is devastating, note on a non-scandal, question of the day, relationships, right on my sleeve, self improvement, single girl stories, the less i worry the happier i am, the world according to me, things I don't say outloud, this is what happens when you listen to a sad song, vague is vogue, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, you're skimming this one One of my best friends from high school once told me her parents didn’t fight. Ever. They didn’t raise their voices, they didn’t gesture wildly, no one ever lost their temper. Not once did someone throw a dish or drop the f-bomb. Now, I didn’t grow up in the middle of a war zone but I had grown up with parents who argued occasionally- I thought everybody had. So naturally, I thought her ‘no fighting’ declaration was a lie. And the next time I was over, I asked her mom to tell me the truth.
Because the term ‘mind your …READ MORE
December 21st, 2008 in books, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's not you it's me, men, oh look! i have opinions., relationships, single girl stories, so egan will LOVE this, the less i worry the happier i am, things I don't say outloud, this might be why I'm single, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, you're skimming this one So like every other human alive, I dig free stuff. I also dig books. So when I got an email a few months ago from this woman offering me a free book if I reviewed it, I said yes. Absolutely. And if you lived closer lady? I would want to buy you dinner for your troubles.
See how thoughtful I am?
Anyway, the day my book arrived- “You lost him at hello“, I did a little happy dance. This is exactly the kind of book I’d never have bought, but would be secretly curious about. (Sidenote: Any authors out there? …READ MORE
November 24th, 2008 in About the last line? I'm kidding. I promise, confession of the day, i post dated this mofo!, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it's not you it's me, question of the day, sigh. i've made a tag for THE HILLS., the sex tag, the title says it all, thinking, this might be why I'm single, when i ask you to do things for me In the last few weeks I’ve had multiple conversations with people all of whom are in ‘friends with benefits’ situations. Which? Always intrigues me, the way Alaskan cruises or tightrope walking intrigues me- I think they appear fun but I don’t think they are for me.
There’s a gene I think I lack. The “I’m cool with exchanging bodily fluids without caring enough to date you” gene. Don’t get me wrong- I’ve done the walk of shame, I’ve made very many bad choices and have enjoyed every single one. But repeatedly going back to the same person, liking them enough …READ MORE
November 18th, 2008 in a possible regret, books, don't hate me for this, earning my dork badge, i complain because I care, i know- we all LOVE him, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's not you it's me, let's still be friends?, sigh. i've made a tag for THE HILLS., so egan will LOVE this, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the title says it all, what i found when i went looking, when i say it anyway First of all, if you haven’t read the book and plan on reading the book, just ignore this post. Or, if you’ve read the book and feel so strongly about the book that you’ve already emailed me to lodge a complaint against the comments I’ve yet to make (but are definitely coming) mocking this book? Help keep us both sane and skip this post.
It’s quite possible to like something and still feel the strong, undesirable urge to make fun of it. That pretty much is the basis for my relationship with my brother- or why I’m still watching the …READ MORE
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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