Do you ever go to write something and then go read your archives and find a post you already wrote that is pretty much identical to what you were going to write?
And you are both elated (hello link love, let’s just save mamma some typing!) and deflated (I was way funnier two years ago)?
And then you realize you just called yourself ‘mamma’ and you wonder what it says about you when you admit to yourself that you like it?
Saturday is the *birthday. TWENTY EIGHT. I’m sure I’m supposed to be feeling all sorts of things …READ MORE
I ate a bagel yesterday and now my stomach feels like there’s glass in it and invisible people are using it as a trampoline.
Gluten is such an asshole.
In other far cooler news- check out the project Peter and I are working on. In a word? Mind blowing.
Okay, ‘mind blowing’ is two words. Don’t blame me for my inability to count correctly. Blame this bastard bagel that is ruining my insides. I suspect my stomach feels how Amy Winehouse’s liver must feel. Angry and wanting to collapse on itself like a dying star.
The Secret Project will be …READ MORE
Sometimes I think about writing a book. Not a thoughtful novel filled with witty characters with irritatingly unique names like March or Shark or Journey. Not a thin book of essays detailing the true bizarre greatness of my family, an ode to Sedaris genius in less than 200 pages. Not even an easy page turner about single girls who wear expensive shoes and find love only after they’ve publicly humiliated themselves or spent time in a Thai prison. No, I think about writing an instruction manual. For life.
It would start off like this:
Chapter 1: BE KIND This chapter …READ MORE
Yesterday I got the most fascinating email. It was from a girl, who had a secret and just wanted to tell someone. So, she emailed and told me. She didn’t write a long post in email, nor did she explain her secret- she just said it. And then said that she was a regular reader (but never commented) and felt like she could tell me. So she did.
That’s one of the things that fascinates (yes, ‘fascinates‘ is the word of the day) me about blogging. The ease at which people are willing to share things they normally wouldn’t share. …READ MORE
So, many of you know Lisa who is a) a gem b) the founder of 20SB. You know she’s a big deal because she’s first name only- Lisa. She’s the new Dooce. Trust. Anyway, Lisa let me in on this fun idea called Blog Carnival where you get a topic and write on it and then they get shared. And this months topic involved Presents! And a list! Two of my favourite things (Also? The day that there’s a topic that involves presents, lists AND Josh Lyman, I may pee my pants with excitement. Internet, you have been warned), so …READ MORE
Everyone has them. The movie you must see, the song you must hear, the book you must read, the city you must visit. When I talk about my ‘musts’ I’m almost fanatical, my feelings are so strong on each of them. My list of ‘musts’ don’t necessarily mean they are my favorite. They are just what has stood out, became memorable and left me with something that I think others might find valuable. So, I give you a few of my ‘musts’, and hope that you will tell me a few of yours
Must read book: The Confederacy of Dunces …READ MORE
I write to you today with a heavy heart. We used to be so close! Remember that time you introduced me to Scramble and my loved ones had to send out a search party? What fun! I loved that game. You were witty with all your superlatives (three votes for being caught wearing a bunny costume for no reason? Go me!), and I loved that I could play Scrabulous any time I wanted (even with Beth who continues to destroy me).
You let me stalk all those people I went to highschool with- you know the ones you …READ MORE
I’ve appointed myself an expert on all things summer. Why? Because I feel like appointing myself something and I have a lot of opinions today.
- if I can see your vagina, your shorts are too short. For real.
- Sunscreen- wear it. If I look at you and can’t help but wince in sympathy pains- I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Even the prettiest summer dress, or most fantastic personality can’t distract someone from a lobster burn. Repeat after me, “baby oil is not my friend”.
- Perhaps skip the long sleeved silk shirt. Silk showcases sweat …READ MORE
January has been a hell-ish month. I’m not kidding. If there was a way to convey how much I’ve hated this month I would. But the best I have is my 13 year old self telling January it can just suck it. Suck it hard.
And now I’m giggling like a 13 year old. Because I said ‘suck’ and ‘hard’ in the same sentence.
But let’s get back to January.
I’m not saying ALL Januaries are awful. Just this past one. I would do a recap of all the horrible and awful and stressful things that happened this month (many …READ MORE