August 13th, 2011 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, i love fragment sentences, I need this on a t-shirt, i wrote this just for the picture, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., karma is going to get you, lists, picture therapy, proof i attract crazy, top 10, what i found when i went looking, when i say it anyway A few months ago, I wrote a post called “How To Not Be A Shitty Person“. People enjoyed it. In fact, I got a lot of thank you emails from people who decided to passively aggressively pass it on to the shitty people in their life. Basically, it was a situation where everyone ended up winning. Because winning feels good, I decided to do a follow up.
How To Not Be Bat Shit Crazy (or “b.s.c.”) Alternatively Titled: How To Be Someone People Don’t Dodge In The Hallway At Work
1. Vampires aren’t real so stop asking your husband to bite …READ MORE
July 6th, 2011 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, H.A.D gets his own tag- that's love, i like cupcakes more than gluten, it's almost like a meme, karma is going to get you, life lesson, lists, love harder, proof i attract crazy, something I won't forget, thank you Eleni, the Ex files, wedding season is kicking my ass I’m fairly certain someone (me) once said “When life gives you WTF moments, figure out how to turn them into FTW celebrations.” Which is only mildly less annoying than the phrase involving lemons and lemonade. Or the one your aunt always repeats involving lemons and tequila which she repeats so often you’d think she thought of it rather than reading it on a forward that she’s sent you roughly 34,595 times.
But phrases like that are around for reason (and not just to be complied into lists that your relatives forward you from now until eternity), they make sense. And when I …READ MORE
Congratulations to Miranda and Sarahdotcom for each winning a copy of A Short History of Nearly Everything. Hurrah! Send me your addresses and when the MAIL STRIKE is over, you will get your packages!
Now. Tomorrow is my last official day with my class and let’s just face facts. I’m not mentally ready to let go of my little burritos. Nor am I capable of even writing about them. (Whoa. I just said ‘nor’? Who do I think I am, Charles Dickens?) I’m going to work hard to not cry tomorrow. My ugly cry sounds like a pair of tone deaf whales …READ MORE
June 19th, 2011 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, because I can't do report cards 24/7, brookem is awesome!, earning my dork badge, i wrote this just for the picture, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, it's a long one (twss), lists, mindful happiness, people i like, pretty hair makes me happier, self improvement, teaching, top 10 Yes to big ideas. Not to marriage proposals. So just… get that thought of the way. (If you listen quietly, you can hear my mom weeping).
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about saying Yes. I wrote about branching out and creating a list of 10 liberating and slightly irresponsible choices and using the month of June to jump into the deep scary end of the ocean of living. Here is the list and what I’ve done so far…
1. Instead of skipping out on the bill (which was suggested in the original list- which? Is too …READ MORE
May 30th, 2011 in a possible regret, adventure, because "guilt" is a dirty word, fingers crossed this works, games we play, i like scotch & table dancing, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, just say yes, lists, pretty hair makes me happier, self improvement, tequila consequences, the less i worry the happier i am
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So one of my friends emailed me this and it pretty much consumed me with reckless, uninhibited glee. Sort of like how you would feel if you were perched in Hawaii, taking a bath in chocolate sauce, listening to your favourite song after finding the Hope diamond in your sock drawer, when Ryan Reynolds comes in and offers to paint your nails. Shirtless.
As much as I adore lists- I’ve never been a “Life List” girl. My wants- my over the top suddenly I can’t die happy unless this happens, ultimate guide to unparalleled joy wants, change pretty regularly. If life …READ MORE
By the time I was a teenager, I was fully immersed in a world of Clinque lipgloss and Tribe perfume. Thankfully, my mom realized I was hooked and took me to rehab an Estee Lauder expert who explained that lipliner should not be black and blush? Should not be seen as a fuchsia tiger stripe running across my face.
Thanks, mom.
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The downside to this addiction is that I’m pretty much solely responsible for Sephora existing. I’ve at least paid for the owner’s yacht a few times over with my addiction to “mascara research”. So I’ve …READ MORE
April 10th, 2011 in AHHHHHHHHHHH!, and then i laughed out loud, Blogroll, confession of the day, i wrote this just for the picture, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, lists, oh look! i have opinions., quote of the day, who needs a self help book? (via)
1. I love the above image and the message it gives. Because seriously, who hasn’t been there? The second the choice is given to someone else, or you know a coin- you gain the clarity you need to realize what you wanted all along. High-five, Universe. And yes, that’s as deep as I’m going to get on Sunday morning.
2. Stomach bug + vacation time = FINALLY WATCHING “ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT”. I KNOW. I KNOW. It’s like, someone just introduced me to what humor is. I just finished the first season and am alternating between thinking I …READ MORE
April 6th, 2011 in About the last line? I'm kidding. I promise, aren't you?, because I can't do report cards 24/7, conversation of the day, earning my dork badge, i might be addicted to tags, i should be a cheerleader, lists, thank you Eleni, the last line is my favourite, this makes me sound dumber than i am, top 10, what i found when i went looking I was on the phone with a friend recently and mentioned Twitter. My friend (who lives an almost technology free existence) started asking questions. TOO MANY QUESTIONS.
Her: “Soo, explain to me how you decide what is worthy of writing about on twitter?”
Me: “Um.. if it’s a thought in my head.”
Her: ” So it’s just random thoughts?”
Me: “Well you make it sound unimportant!”
Her: “Have you ever talked about your lunch?”
Me: “Irrelevant!”
Her: “So that’s a yes.”
Me: “Twitter changes lives. It finds dogs and people. AND STARTS REVOLUTIONS. JUST LEAVE TWITTER ALONE.”
Her: “You are …READ MORE
March 31st, 2011 in advice, books i'm not writing, I don't know what day it is, i love fragment sentences, i should be a P.S.A., I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's always easier to say it than do it, it's ironic because I'm Canadian, lists, oh look! i have opinions., self improvement, the title says it all, the world according to me Let’s be clear. I didn’t come up with this list while quoting Gandhi and emptying out the entire contents of my bank account to give to a third world nation. I actually started this list to remind myself how I want to try and live. I easily get caught up in bad habits- and thought tattooing “STOP SWEARING LOUDLY WHILE SHAKING YOUR FIST AT BAD DRIVERS” to my forehead was extreme and a bit too long for my tiny forehead. So I wrote a list to remind myself of how to behave like a normal human being. Some people create …READ MORE
1. You speak in code.
2. Your twitter account links to your blog, which links to your tumblr account which links to your flickr account.
3. You are surprised when someone asks how you are doing. Don’t they read your blog?
4. You’ve ever wrote a post titled “Things Every Blogger Should Know“.
5. You count introducing your boyfriend/girlfriend to your blog as a significant relationship milestone.
6. You know the difference between a tag and a category.
7. You’ve spent way too long thinking of the perfect word. And have lost sleep when you didn’t find it.
8. You are addicted …READ MORE
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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