I went through a phase in my early teens when I was obsessed with jury selection (I mean, who DIDN’T have that phase?) and read every book possible on the topic. This was after the OJ Simpson case and I was convinced that the right jury would have REALIZED WHAT EVERYONE ELSE ALREADY KNEW. I became an expert on how to spot liars, identify psychopaths and establish who wants to wants to chop off your head and use it as a soup bowl so I was convinced I would be up for online dating.
I mean, isn’t that what it …READ MORE
Hello internet! So, it’s the last day of 2009, and I thought I’d lighten the mood.
A few weeks ago, the ‘hot awesome dude’ (aka: H.A.D) decided he wanted to share with the internet things I taught him in 2009. I was overjoyed with this idea. Of cooourse I wanted a list that showcased how life changing and awesome I am. Instead, he decided that he should cull allll the ridiculous things I said in 2009 and make them into a little list for him to re-read and giggle over like a school girl asked to prom. (He’s going to …READ MORE
You know, for all my waxing about love and like and movies starring both Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks- I’m not easily wooed. I tend to be the girl who is not impressed when a dude comes over to talk because he’s usually cutting in to the great time I’m already having with my friends. (Real life friends who read the blog? Feel free to chime in and confirm this bitchy behavior I exhibit).
And when a guy manages to get into a conversation? I’m easy to cut him loose if I feel like he’s not quality. (For the record, …READ MORE
It surprises me when I discover I am loved.
That sounds silly doesn’t? As though one should take for granted being loved as easy as one takes for granted air or space or the continued beat of their own heart despite a deep rooted love for corn dogs.
But it surprises me to discover I am loved.
When the words leave someone else and are shot straight to me- like a rubber band filled with nervous excitement, ” I love you“, three words that light up even the darkest night, I find that I have no room to be delighted- …READ MORE
Nelly lyrics for my title? Either I’m forging new ground or else I’m regressing to 2002 and someone should take me out back with a shovel and put me out of my misery.
Either way, this lyric is one that has been popping into my head lately. I have no idea totally know why. I think because (start looking for your shovel), this particular song makes me ridiculously happy. And right now? I am ridiculously happy.
Like the kind of happy makes normal people want to shout from rooftops and makes us technology whores write blog posts …READ MORE
I knew a guy once who had the annoying habit of cracking his knuckles before sleep. It drove me INSANE. Nothing is more unsettling than drifting off and being awakened by a large CRACK!, followed by nine more CRACKS! . (Well, of course there are things more unsettling than this but it really does make my top five- sandwiched in between being woken up by someone staring at you and finding out that your ex-boyfriend used to masturbate to your grade 9 graduation photo. Bullet? Dodged.).
So, I did what any girl who loves sleep more than she should- I …READ MORE
Sometimes I wonder what the point of an ‘undo send’ option in gmail is if it only lasts like, 2.4 seconds. I mean, people don’t tend to regret emails they send that quickly. They usually wait longer- minutes go by before they realize that they sent something that although is 100% true, is also 100% cringe worthy and they would gladly gnaw off their limbs to be able to crawl through the internet and get back their email from the clutches of the receivers inbox. Not so they could never send an email- but just so they could re-word it …READ MORE
You know, there was a moment today when I realized that being single sometimes really sucks. Did I get a wedding invitation and not have a date? Was I realizing that there’s no way I was going to be able to eat all the rice krispie squares I made? Did I have an itch I couldn’t scratch?
No. No annnnnd No (and for that last one, get your head out of the gutter).
I was having to drive my car in for an oil change. You know when you have to drive your car in and make sure it lines …READ MORE
I found this while doing the kind of lazy, uninterrupted online perusing you can only do when you have approximately 873 things to do on your to-do list. I was going to tie this into Earth Day and baby polar bears drowning and the fact that Edward Norton is so smoking hot as an ambassador for the planet that he’s probably a leading contributor to global warming. But in the end I thought I would say that I just liked this. Because isn’t it exactly how you feel when you fall?
I’ve always appreciated the fact that …READ MORE
One of the greatest days of my life happened in the fall of 1996. (No, keep reading, I promise there is no reference to Mondetta and/or Guess clothing in this post.)
I was starting grade ten and found out that the hot, new boy picked the locker right next to mine. Oliver. He was all big smiles and sly glances. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Levi’s that fit perfectly. He’d lean against his locker and do impressions of our biology teacher, tease me for buying Mariah Carey’s latest CD (I still stand by that purchase. DO NOT JUDGE ME), ask …READ MORE