I was going to let this slide, but I think you all are the perfect people to discuss this with.
Last week my birthday dinner was horrible. I went out for my party on Saturday, but on the Friday- my mom, brother and I went out for dinner. Here is what happened:
Our server rolled her eyes when we asked for menus. Because clearly, I should have the mind powers that let me visualize everything on the menu. Oh, and given her impatience with the few minutes it took us to think about what we want, I apparently should also …READ MORE
Today I yelled at an elderly saleswoman who looked as though if she could have clubbed me and hidden the body, she would have.
It started out simply enough. I wanted to return a book. Two days ago, my brother bought me “Obama Nation” by Jerome Corsi. I hadn’t really heard anything about it, but did a little research and found that he’s the same author who started the “swiftboat” movement against John Kerry. I also found that the book is filled with half truths and misrepresentations- including the idea that Obama might be doing cocaine as a senator, when …READ MORE
So, I have to mention this because it’s going to bother me if I don’t. And when things bother me and I don’t say anything, I turn about 8 shades of crazy all of which involve binging on popcorn and tequila and writing copious amounts of horrible poetry into my journal (sidenote: Why do I only ever write in my journal when I’m unhappy? I swear, if my grandkids are screwed out of love letters- they should at least get a journal that has SOME happy thoughts rather than hundreds of pages filled with angst and pathetic ‘why me?’ statements …READ MORE
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There were a few times in the last five days that I thought I was going to die. A few times I wished I would just die, and once or twice where I actively went looking for things that would put me out of my misery but alas- I’m still standing.
Remember last Friday I was driving 10 hours to read Shakespeare at a wedding? Yeah. I did that. Then I danced like I was famous, got pictures taken in front of the elaborate wedding ice sculpture and won $50 in the hotel’s casino at 3am with one …READ MORE
Let’s play a game called “See how many posts this person stole from me”. I stopped counting after the first two pages because I actually started to cry. Because not understanding things usually leads to tears. Or drinking. And my liver and I are currently not talking after Vegas.
Filed under “things I do not understand” people who steal posts about Oprah’s big give. Or being called the c-word. Or birthday wish lists. Seriously. Who steals someone’s birthday wish list?
For example: Here is what I said about my birthday wish list. Here is what she said. Here is what …READ MORE
10 minutes ago I got this email:
“I’ve never left a comment before but I read you all the time. I’m sorry you are feeling so shitty, I hope you feel better soon. I thought I would tell you though, you’ve lost my vote for funniest blog. Your last few blogs haven’t been funny at all!1! Sorry tho, you still should keep writing!!*hugs!*- alexis
And can I tell you something? I laughed out loud. So Alexis… wherever you are? Thank you. That was the best email I got all day.
UPDATE: While I work on responding to all your comments, please check out my guest post over at Brookem’s site. It’s about MUSIC and that one time Brookem did tequila shots with Stevie Nicks.
Sunday night found me at the grocery store. Doing the sort of shopping I didn’t really need to do. The kind of shopping I do only when I am feeling very bored and sorry for myself because it’s Sunday NIGHT!, and my life no longer involves Sunday night keggers or spontaneous parties or Grey’s Anatomy (because I used to watch it when it was on …READ MORE