1. I don’t drink smoothies. I mean, I WANT to drink them. Every person I know raves about them on the daily. But let’s face it. I’m lazy as hell. And smoothies involve peeling and chopping and slicing and giving a fuck. Smoothies are like, french braids or completed crosswords done in pen. You want to show off that you’ve completed it but there’s a level of effort involved that no one wants to talk about. I slice a lemon into my naglene and think I’m channeling Eric Ripert.
2. I skipped the Grammy Awards because I don’t need another …READ MORE
If you don’t know me or haven’t followed my blog, you may not know this about me:
I was once very angry. Not outwardly angry- not slash your tires angry or kick the wall with your boots on angry. I wasn’t even punch a pillow angry. I was anger turned inward- a soul crushing sort of inner angry that manifested itself through debilitating depression that left me unable to get out of bed and at times, suicidal.
Well that was one hell of an opener. (I promise, it gets more light hearted…).
The hows and whys of how one gets …READ MORE
Recently, I won life coaching sessions from Molly. Which (for me), seems as essential as daily viewing of sea otters on youtube before going to work (aka: ESSENTIAL LIKE OXYGEN).
One of the assignments I have this week has been to write a love letter to myself. So naturally, I decided to pull a Hermoine Granger and share this. Because sometimes I like to paint myself with the ‘overachiever’ brush. It makes me feel sophisticated and grand- like Gwyneth Paltrow minus Goop (and a body that should go to prison because it’s KILLER). But mostly I wanted to share this so people …READ MORE
1. When I go to Starbucks, I become irrationally worried that I’m going to forget my order. I will spend the entire time stuck in the drive thru saying my order on repeat. But attempting to say it casually as well, so I don’t come off as a *robot. (Because yes, that’s a serious concern I have- people mistaking me for a robot). “Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate, Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate. Why yes, it IS cold out today. Oh you like my hair? Thank you! What would I like? Oh that’s easy, Venti, non-fat, …READ MORE
Hello internet! So, it’s the last day of 2009, and I thought I’d lighten the mood.
A few weeks ago, the ‘hot awesome dude’ (aka: H.A.D) decided he wanted to share with the internet things I taught him in 2009. I was overjoyed with this idea. Of cooourse I wanted a list that showcased how life changing and awesome I am. Instead, he decided that he should cull allll the ridiculous things I said in 2009 and make them into a little list for him to re-read and giggle over like a school girl asked to prom. (He’s going to …READ MORE
Five Things I refuse to apologize for
1. My wit. And my modesty. And any lame attempt at a joke that has failed like me in a high school calculus class.
2. Wearing Uggs. I get it. People think they are unattractive. But seriously, who can show me a winter boot that IS fashionable? And one that I can put on in roughly 0.24 seconds? (Which? Is pretty high on the list of requirements for my winter footwear when I have to run outside and laugh hysterically at deal with children who have decided to lick metal playground equipment). …READ MORE
Confession- My first choice was the solar system. This stemmed from a conversation I had with my brother during a long drive home when I realized I couldn’t name the planets in order. I was shocked. So in an attempt to deflect my ignorance, I proceeded to make various Uranus jokes.
Because sometimes I’m mature like that.
On Friday I still hadn’t fully decided what I was going study when I got a phone message from the library. A book I had forgotten I requested was in. The book? Interred with Their Bones (recommended by Bre). A Da Vinci Code-esque …READ MORE
Hooray! It’s almost February. I’m ready to kick off this month with candy hearts and red wine. So it’s so cold outside that after three seconds in the elements my nipples are so hard they could cut glass? I don’t care! It’s not January! So this chilly month includes the only holiday dedicated exclusively to coupled people and I am single? I don’t care! It’s not January! I would rather deal with 28 (or 29 days this Leap Year) days of shiny red and pink materialistic reminders of LOVE and SOUL MATES and BE MINES and SWEETHEARTS rather than spend …READ MORE
The goal for this month is to work on becoming more high maintenance. This doesn’t mean I planned on starting a love affair with mink eyelashes or will now require the tears of an orphan to shine my shoes- I just wanted to spend a month really putting effort in. Thirty-one days of deep conditioning hair treatments, the second coat of nail polish, and lotion applied to all the spots I usually miss (elbows!). Thirty-one days of stretching before bed, re-evaluating the shape of my eyebrows, and becoming re-acquainted with the genius that is cuticle cream.
I’m seven days in …READ MORE