Yoga won’t save you & other deep thoughts from the edge

I’m not sure how it happened.

I could blame “Eat, Pray, Love”. The idea that, when faced with a devastating loss or unyielding heartache of epic proportions, the most courageous thing you can do is to leave. To run. To flee. To explore new lands and discover new people. That anything less than a dramatic exit will not suffice, will not illustrate to those around you just how absolutely crushed you are. That unless I smash plates, book trips to exotic lands, get ill-placed tattoos, take up chain smoking and jeggings- that my sadness does not have a home, isn’t …READ MORE

A question about relationships (aka: I’m pulling a *Jay-Z aka: hello blog!)

A few weeks ago, I was spending my free time putting together a list of reading strategies for a bulletin board to help kids comprehend what they are reading. (And yes, this is what teachers do in their free time. So before you start going all “JULY AND AUGUST HOLIDAYS” on me, I’m just going to stop you right here and tell you to suck it.) One of the strategies that most experts agree on, is that a student needs to be able to recognize relationships in writing and understand what these relationships mean. As seen here. Please note how …READ MORE

Rules To Live By Part II

Originally done here

1.  Life is too short to wait for other people to buy you flowers. Buy your own. (And stop fucking hating on *carnations.) (photo by me)

2.  If a student tells you he just ‘had a wet fart’ but after is walking around like a bow legged cowboy, send him down to the bathroom immediately.

3. Don’t trust people who don’t love “Party in the USA”.

4. If the kissing ain’t right, keep the legs tight.

5.  Sometimes, the only thing that will be able to cure your sadness is McDonalds french fries.  And on those days, …READ MORE

From The Hot Awesome Dude

Hello internet! So, it’s the last day of 2009, and I thought I’d lighten the mood.

A few weeks ago, the ‘hot awesome dude’ (aka: H.A.D) decided he wanted to share with the internet things I taught him in 2009. I was overjoyed with this idea. Of cooourse I wanted a list that showcased how life changing and awesome I am. Instead, he decided that he should cull allll the ridiculous things I said in 2009 and make them into a little list for him to re-read and giggle over like a school girl asked to prom. (He’s going to …READ MORE

Heartbreakers & Dealmakers

I knew a guy once who had the annoying habit of cracking his knuckles before sleep. It drove me INSANE. Nothing is more unsettling than drifting off and being awakened by a large CRACK!, followed by nine more CRACKS! .  (Well, of course there are things more unsettling than this but it really does make my top five- sandwiched in between being woken up by someone staring at you and finding out that your ex-boyfriend used to masturbate to your grade 9 graduation photo. Bullet? Dodged.).

So, I did what any girl who loves sleep more than she should- I …READ MORE

Duck, Duck, Dodge

One of the more bizarre quirks I possess, is the strong desire to run from people in public places. There have been times in the past while shopping where I’ve heard my name called and my first reaction has been to drop my purchases and run like I’m being chased by a pack of angry wild dogs craving the taste of human flesh. That’s my reaction when I don’t know who is calling my name. It’s worse when I see someone I don’t get along with.

This week marks one event that takes place where it will almost be impossible …READ MORE

2008: The One About Sex

I have crawled out from a mountain of kleenex, drunk on cold medication to share with you another great best/worst of ’08 series. These two lists both hand me nodding along, but also reminded me of one of my absolute favourite quotes of the year which was in response to “Explain to Me: The Benefits of Friends with Benefits“:

Brandy, yes, some sex is better than no sex. Its like pizza – even shitty pizza is good!- E.b

5 Best Things About Not Having Premartial Sex in 2008 by Ally

(1) I didn’t have any pregnancy scares or sex related …READ MORE

Ensuring that I never get asked to do another book review

So like every other human alive, I dig free stuff. I also dig books. So when I got an email a few months ago from this woman offering me a free book if I reviewed it, I said yes. Absolutely. And if you lived closer lady? I would want to buy you dinner for your troubles.

See how thoughtful I am?

Anyway, the day my book arrived- “You lost him at hello“, I did a little happy dance. This is exactly the kind of book I’d never have bought, but would be secretly curious about. (Sidenote: Any authors out there? …READ MORE

Crush

Me: I wish I had a crush.

Andy: A crush? Like, what you had in the seventh grade for guys who still wore sweatpants?

Me: Welll… a grownup version of that. Life is just a lot more interesting when you have that one person you feel all, swoony around.

Andy: Why don’t you wish for a guy to feel that way about you? Or better yet, why don’t you wish for a relationship where BOTH of you feel like that?

Me: Are you nuts?! I’m not ready for that kind of commitment. I like my feelings to NOT be reciprocated, …READ MORE