Keeping It Real

1. I don’t drink smoothies. I mean, I WANT to drink them. Every person I know raves about them on the daily. But let’s face it. I’m lazy as hell. And smoothies involve peeling and chopping and slicing and giving a fuck. Smoothies are like, french braids or completed crosswords done in pen. You want to show off that you’ve completed it but there’s a level of effort involved that no one wants to talk about. I slice a lemon into my naglene and think I’m channeling Eric Ripert.

2. I skipped the Grammy Awards because I don’t need another …READ MORE

Writing to you from yesterday

It’s Tuesday right now.

Of course, you are reading this on a Wednesday. Or, if you are like me (and hate google reader), you are reading this 2 months from now on a lovely March day while preparing your liver for St. Patricks Day and stomach assaulting *Irish carbombs.

Either way. I’m writing this yesterday. (That sentence makes little sense but also blew my mind.)

So, the reason why I’m writing this a day before and using the romantic ability to plan a later publish date is on the day you read this I’m going to be in the hospital. …READ MORE

Tell Me I’m Normal

1. When I go to Starbucks,  I become irrationally worried that I’m going to forget my order. I will spend the entire time stuck in the drive thru saying my order on repeat.  But attempting to say it casually as well, so I don’t come off as a *robot. (Because yes, that’s a serious concern I have- people mistaking me for a robot). “Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate, Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate. Why yes, it IS cold out today. Oh you like my hair? Thank you! What would I like? Oh that’s easy, Venti, non-fat, …READ MORE

I feel like busting loose and I feel like touching you

I know.

Nelly lyrics for my title? Either I’m forging new ground or else I’m regressing to 2002 and someone should take me out back with a shovel and put me out of my misery.

Either way, this lyric is one that has been popping into my head lately. I have no idea totally know why. I think because (start looking for your shovel), this particular song makes me ridiculously happy. And right now? I am ridiculously happy.

Like the kind of happy makes normal people want to shout from rooftops and makes us technology whores write blog posts …READ MORE

I also pretend to talk on my cell phone so I don’t have to talk to salespeople in clothing stores

(via)

I got a few emails today asking where The Secret Project was. The truth is, submissions have slowed so I’m going to post once a month. I have to say, The Secret Project is such a treat for me to share. There were some secrets that made me cry, ones that made me laugh out loud, ones that broke my heart into eleventy thousand pieces- and there was one secret someone shared that was one that I kept too. And checking my inbox and finding that someone else had gone through something I had? Well, it was …READ MORE

With Great Consequence

(via)

I found this while doing the kind of lazy, uninterrupted online perusing you can only do when you have approximately 873 things to do on your to-do list.  I was going to tie this into Earth Day and baby polar bears drowning and the fact that Edward Norton is so smoking hot as an ambassador for the planet that he’s probably a leading contributor to global warming. But in the end I thought I would say that I just liked this. Because isn’t it exactly how you feel when you fall?

I’ve always appreciated the fact that …READ MORE

The “Secret” Project

Yesterday I got the most fascinating email. It was from a girl, who had a secret and just wanted to tell someone. So, she emailed and told me. She didn’t write a long post in email, nor did she explain her secret- she just said it. And then said that she was a regular reader (but never commented) and felt like she could tell me. So she did.

That’s one of the things that fascinates (yes, ‘fascinates‘ is the word of the day) me about blogging. The ease at which people are willing to share things they normally wouldn’t share. …READ MORE

Is it an act of goodwill if you tell everyone you did it?

I’ve been feeling very… mysterious lately. (As mysterious as someone who claps their hands when they get *a good poker hand can be.) So much stuff is currently going on and I’ve left you with nothing but Ja Rule to listen to. Partly because I’m too lazy to blog about everything that’s happening (so much typing! And how do I fit the typing in when I’ve got TWO new hobbies? Football AND **Twilight?) and because part of me doesn’t want to jinx it. But mostly because I’m lazy.

Anyway, in the spirit of secrets and all that is mysterious (please …READ MORE

My liver cringed just typing this

Before I begin this tale, I want to tell you why I’m reliving one of the worst mornings of my entire life. This particular morning beats the time I fake slept my way out of an awkward “hey, wake up! I think I love you” conversation with a charming but completely not for me man who was curled up beside me. It beats the morning I woke up in Barcelona after consuming enough vodka to sedate a large herd of bison. It beats the morning I woke up and realized I had a final university exam in two hours for …READ MORE