Originally done here
1. Life is too short to wait for other people to buy you flowers. Buy your own. (And stop fucking hating on *carnations.) (photo by me)
2. If a student tells you he just ‘had a wet fart’ but after is walking around like a bow legged cowboy, send him down to the bathroom immediately.
3. Don’t trust people who don’t love “Party in the USA”.
4. If the kissing ain’t right, keep the legs tight.
5. Sometimes, the only thing that will be able to cure your sadness is McDonalds french fries. And on those days, …READ MORE
10 Top Lessons I Learned In 2009 (this list is seriously incomplete but a top “23.5 Lessons I learned in 2009″ just doesn’t have the same ring to it. And if there’s one thing I’m about, it’s the ring).
1. Crying in public, sending out 80,000 resumes and begging will not get you a job. Neither will good intentions, great connections and a resume so sparkling it would make Obama’s look shoddy in comparison. A good job will find you when you least expect it. And everyone who says “the perfect job will find you when you are ready”, …READ MORE
You know, you’ve done it too. You find yourself with 10 minutes to spare, click ‘bookmarks’ and scroll down to a famous blogger you have bookmarked. I’m not talking famous in your world blogger, the kind that your particular blogger group, seems to have crowned homecoming king or queen, I’m talking about famous to the ENTIRE world blogger. The kind of blogger who has one name- and everybody knows it. You scroll down to their too hip for more than one syllable name, and click- waiting for that feeling of envy and happiness to rise up inside you, like it …READ MORE
I’m sitting here in my classroom- one that was so ugly when I first met it, I almost cried. It was a thousand shades of beige with ripped construction paper and borders that didn’t quite meet around bulletin boards. It had dirty walls, smeared windows and it smelled like my grandmother’s basement. It had torn posters haphazardly dangling from the last cold remnants of sticky tack, a small collection of tattered books housed in a dirty plastic bin and 10 lonely desks stood in the center of the room.
I look around now. I have brightly colored material stretched over …READ MORE
I was 19 and working for a water treatment center one summer to earn extra money. I was hired by a friend of my parents and told that the work would be extremely easy. My job description fell under the vague category of “safety coordinator”. I was told to show up at the water treatment center at 6 am and to bring a lunch. I was hesitant about going, the only safety measures I knew were medical procedures I learned watching E.R- and I doubted anyone would need me to (or even let me) perform a tracheotomy with a bic …READ MORE
(picture by me)
1. Flowers will never fix everything, but they sure as hell can’t hurt. (Unless they are my favourite flower- peonies and then let’s face it, they can fix everything).
2. When you are wrong, admit it. When you are sorry, say it. When you are in love, declare it.
3. Sometimes it just won’t go your way. And in those moments, it’s perfectly acceptable to stay in your pajamas, eat a lot of string cheese and watch Regis and Kelly (and secretly hate Kelly for being utterly perfect so early in the morning. Her arms! …READ MORE
For reasons I will never be able to articulate, I seem to swing violently between being 100% confident in my life and my choices and the direction I’m going- to the other extreme, 100% puddle on the kitchen floor, all emo with mascara stains on my cheeks feeling like I have yet to make a right choice and my life is doomed for failure before I hit thirty. There’s no in between, no grey area, no room to stretch- to accept that some choices might have been successes while others were failures. I paint everything with the same brush: it’s …READ MORE
Sometimes I think about writing a book. Not a thoughtful novel filled with witty characters with irritatingly unique names like March or Shark or Journey. Not a thin book of essays detailing the true bizarre greatness of my family, an ode to Sedaris genius in less than 200 pages. Not even an easy page turner about single girls who wear expensive shoes and find love only after they’ve publicly humiliated themselves or spent time in a Thai prison. No, I think about writing an instruction manual. For life.
It would start off like this:
Chapter 1: BE KIND This chapter …READ MORE