I went through a phase in my early teens when I was obsessed with jury selection (I mean, who DIDN’T have that phase?) and read every book possible on the topic. This was after the OJ Simpson case and I was convinced that the right jury would have REALIZED WHAT EVERYONE ELSE ALREADY KNEW. I became an expert on how to spot liars, identify psychopaths and establish who wants to wants to chop off your head and use it as a soup bowl so I was convinced I would be up for online dating.
I mean, isn’t that what it …READ MORE
You know, there was a moment today when I realized that being single sometimes really sucks. Did I get a wedding invitation and not have a date? Was I realizing that there’s no way I was going to be able to eat all the rice krispie squares I made? Did I have an itch I couldn’t scratch?
No. No annnnnd No (and for that last one, get your head out of the gutter).
I was having to drive my car in for an oil change. You know when you have to drive your car in and make sure it lines …READ MORE
Maybe you meet in a coffee shop- no, of course you don’t, who ever meets in a coffee shop? Maybe you meet in a crowded pub when his beer splashes your arm and as you wipe it dry you rack your brain thinking of all the clever things you always wanted to say if you were ever to meet a boy like this. Or maybe you meet through friends or online or maybe you meet at work- and through a handful of casual conversations discussing weekend plans and the weather you decide you like this boy.
However it happens, you …READ MORE
It’s taken me 27 years to fully accept this but I’m finally there. I never wanted to be current Meg Ryan (I like the size of my lips just fine), I always had hopes of being Meg Ryan of yesterday. You know, “When Harry Met Sally” Meg Ryan or even better “When You’ve Got Mail” Meg Ryan. When people see her in those movies they throw around words like ‘adorable’ and ‘endearing’ and who doesn’t want to be that? Plus she was the poster girl for how quirky could be sexy. And when you are 5″2, clumsy and don’t own …READ MORE
I’ve mentioned in the past that before I realized that a person could just randomly write stuff for the internet to read, I was big on mass emailing my every thought to everyone on my email list. This included my manifestos. That’s right. Every summer, I would write a summer manifesto detailing what exactly I wanted to accomplish that summer. And I did it without wearing a potato sack or complaining about capitalism.
I was re-reading one of them and decided it was too ridiculous brilliant to not share. So here (in part) is my Summer 2004 Manifesto. I’m …READ MORE
One of the greatest days of my life happened in the fall of 1996. (No, keep reading, I promise there is no reference to Mondetta and/or Guess clothing in this post.)
I was starting grade ten and found out that the hot, new boy picked the locker right next to mine. Oliver. He was all big smiles and sly glances. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Levi’s that fit perfectly. He’d lean against his locker and do impressions of our biology teacher, tease me for buying Mariah Carey’s latest CD (I still stand by that purchase. DO NOT JUDGE ME), ask …READ MORE
One of my best friends from high school once told me her parents didn’t fight. Ever. They didn’t raise their voices, they didn’t gesture wildly, no one ever lost their temper. Not once did someone throw a dish or drop the f-bomb. Now, I didn’t grow up in the middle of a war zone but I had grown up with parents who argued occasionally- I thought everybody had. So naturally, I thought her ‘no fighting’ declaration was a lie. And the next time I was over, I asked her mom to tell me the truth.
Because the term ‘mind your …READ MORE
Ten Six Things That ROCKED this Holiday Season
1. Quality family time. Even though we play the most competitive board games ever (Risk anyone?) and I got completely schooled, it was still fun. You know, once I was back on speaking terms with my mom. Sure, she may have brought me into the world, but was it completely necessary to dismantle my entire strategy to take over North America in ONE TURN? NO. The answer is NO IT WAS NOT.
2. Time with friends. The friends who are still friends with you despite *2003. The friends who know what …READ MORE
So like every other human alive, I dig free stuff. I also dig books. So when I got an email a few months ago from this woman offering me a free book if I reviewed it, I said yes. Absolutely. And if you lived closer lady? I would want to buy you dinner for your troubles.
See how thoughtful I am?
Anyway, the day my book arrived- “You lost him at hello“, I did a little happy dance. This is exactly the kind of book I’d never have bought, but would be secretly curious about. (Sidenote: Any authors out there? …READ MORE
I decided today that I should start listening to my ENTIRE itunes library. Not just, the six songs that I listen to on repeat. As I started listening, I realized two things 1) a song can really take you back to a memory you had forgotten and 2) I have too much Will Smith in my music collection. Really, it’s embarrassing. (Almost as embarrassing as the album name “Big Willie Style”. Seriously. Who thought that was a good idea?) Anyway, as I puttered throughout the day, songs came on that took me back to a memory relating to those who …READ MORE