February 5th, 2013 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 30something, 98% of me thinks this is funny, adventure, and then i cried, and then i laughed out loud, i should be a P.S.A., introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it's a long one (twss), it's not you it's me, men, no i haven't gotten laid, single girl stories, something I won't forget, these are the things that happen to me, this one might be my favourite, what the hell I went through a phase in my early teens when I was obsessed with jury selection (I mean, who DIDN’T have that phase?) and read every book possible on the topic. This was after the OJ Simpson case and I was convinced that the right jury would have REALIZED WHAT EVERYONE ELSE ALREADY KNEW. I became an expert on how to spot liars, identify psychopaths and establish who wants to wants to chop off your head and use it as a soup bowl so I was convinced I would be up for online dating.
I mean, isn’t that what it …READ MORE
July 7th, 2009 in and now you might know everything, find the dorkiest sentence in this, i complain because I care, I want to make Jim Halpert a mix tape, it makes sense to me, lists, man I'm such a girl, men, single girl stories, swimming in a sea of self pity, the title says it all, the world according to me, you're skimming this one You know, there was a moment today when I realized that being single sometimes really sucks. Did I get a wedding invitation and not have a date? Was I realizing that there’s no way I was going to be able to eat all the rice krispie squares I made? Did I have an itch I couldn’t scratch?
No. No annnnnd No (and for that last one, get your head out of the gutter).
I was having to drive my car in for an oil change. You know when you have to drive your car in and make sure it lines …READ MORE
June 28th, 2009 in and now you might know everything, here is my heart, i should be a P.S.A., I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, is it weird this makes me cry?, it's okay- you can skim this one, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, let's still be friends?, life lesson, love or something like it, man I'm such a girl, right on my sleeve, single girl stories, so sappy it hurts, something I won't forget, the world according to me, things I don't say outloud, this is what happens when you listen to a sad song, this one is about you, vague is vogue, when i say it anyway Maybe you meet in a coffee shop- no, of course you don’t, who ever meets in a coffee shop? Maybe you meet in a crowded pub when his beer splashes your arm and as you wipe it dry you rack your brain thinking of all the clever things you always wanted to say if you were ever to meet a boy like this. Or maybe you meet through friends or online or maybe you meet at work- and through a handful of casual conversations discussing weekend plans and the weather you decide you like this boy.
However it happens, you …READ MORE
April 22nd, 2009 in and now you might know everything, confession of the day, famous people make for good gossip, here is my heart, it makes sense to me, man I'm such a girl, no i haven't gotten laid, pretty hair makes me happier, right on my sleeve, single girl stories, so sappy it hurts, the last line is my favourite, the one that nobody reads because of the title, things I don't say outloud, this might be why I'm single, Wednesday nights make me frisky It’s taken me 27 years to fully accept this but I’m finally there. I never wanted to be current Meg Ryan (I like the size of my lips just fine), I always had hopes of being Meg Ryan of yesterday. You know, “When Harry Met Sally” Meg Ryan or even better “When You’ve Got Mail” Meg Ryan. When people see her in those movies they throw around words like ‘adorable’ and ‘endearing’ and who doesn’t want to be that? Plus she was the poster girl for how quirky could be sexy. And when you are 5″2, clumsy and don’t own …READ MORE
April 15th, 2009 in adventure, and now you might know everything, Andrea should move back to Canada, confession of the day, genius, i like scotch & table dancing, I'm a lady. I'm a tramp., if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, it makes sense to me, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), man I'm such a girl, right on my sleeve, single girl stories, this might be why I'm single, Wednesday nights make me frisky, what i found when i went looking, when i say it anyway, you're skimming this one I’ve mentioned in the past that before I realized that a person could just randomly write stuff for the internet to read, I was big on mass emailing my every thought to everyone on my email list. This included my manifestos. That’s right. Every summer, I would write a summer manifesto detailing what exactly I wanted to accomplish that summer. And I did it without wearing a potato sack or complaining about capitalism.
I was re-reading one of them and decided it was too ridiculous brilliant to not share. So here (in part) is my Summer 2004 Manifesto. I’m …READ MORE
February 11th, 2009 in and now you might know everything, confession of the day, disappointment, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it's a long one (twss), it's okay- you can skim this one, men, oh dear, right on my sleeve, single girl stories, this makes me sound dumber than i am, this might be why I'm single, Wednesday nights make me frisky, what i found when i went looking One of the greatest days of my life happened in the fall of 1996. (No, keep reading, I promise there is no reference to Mondetta and/or Guess clothing in this post.)
I was starting grade ten and found out that the hot, new boy picked the locker right next to mine. Oliver. He was all big smiles and sly glances. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Levi’s that fit perfectly. He’d lean against his locker and do impressions of our biology teacher, tease me for buying Mariah Carey’s latest CD (I still stand by that purchase. DO NOT JUDGE ME), ask …READ MORE
January 12th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, advice, i love fragment sentences, i post dated this mofo!, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it's not you it's me, life lesson, men, my passive aggressiveness is devastating, note on a non-scandal, question of the day, relationships, right on my sleeve, self improvement, single girl stories, the less i worry the happier i am, the world according to me, things I don't say outloud, this is what happens when you listen to a sad song, vague is vogue, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, you're skimming this one One of my best friends from high school once told me her parents didn’t fight. Ever. They didn’t raise their voices, they didn’t gesture wildly, no one ever lost their temper. Not once did someone throw a dish or drop the f-bomb. Now, I didn’t grow up in the middle of a war zone but I had grown up with parents who argued occasionally- I thought everybody had. So naturally, I thought her ‘no fighting’ declaration was a lie. And the next time I was over, I asked her mom to tell me the truth.
Because the term ‘mind your …READ MORE
December 29th, 2008 in competition makes me crazy, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, friends, holidays, i can't believe i have a football tag, I don't know what day it is, i should be a cheerleader, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it happened this week, lists, music, sigh. i've made a tag for THE HILLS., single girl stories, sports, the big O, the last line is my favourite, the title says it all Ten Six Things That ROCKED this Holiday Season
1. Quality family time. Even though we play the most competitive board games ever (Risk anyone?) and I got completely schooled, it was still fun. You know, once I was back on speaking terms with my mom. Sure, she may have brought me into the world, but was it completely necessary to dismantle my entire strategy to take over North America in ONE TURN? NO. The answer is NO IT WAS NOT.
2. Time with friends. The friends who are still friends with you despite *2003. The friends who know what …READ MORE
December 21st, 2008 in books, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's not you it's me, men, oh look! i have opinions., relationships, single girl stories, so egan will LOVE this, the less i worry the happier i am, things I don't say outloud, this might be why I'm single, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, you're skimming this one So like every other human alive, I dig free stuff. I also dig books. So when I got an email a few months ago from this woman offering me a free book if I reviewed it, I said yes. Absolutely. And if you lived closer lady? I would want to buy you dinner for your troubles.
See how thoughtful I am?
Anyway, the day my book arrived- “You lost him at hello“, I did a little happy dance. This is exactly the kind of book I’d never have bought, but would be secretly curious about. (Sidenote: Any authors out there? …READ MORE
November 11th, 2008 in About the last line? I'm kidding. I promise, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, it's almost like a meme, love or something like it, men, music, single girl stories, tequila consequences, the Ex files, the last line is my favourite, this is what happens when you listen to a sad song, this might be why I'm single, travel, what i found when i went looking I decided today that I should start listening to my ENTIRE itunes library. Not just, the six songs that I listen to on repeat. As I started listening, I realized two things 1) a song can really take you back to a memory you had forgotten and 2) I have too much Will Smith in my music collection. Really, it’s embarrassing. (Almost as embarrassing as the album name “Big Willie Style”. Seriously. Who thought that was a good idea?) Anyway, as I puttered throughout the day, songs came on that took me back to a memory relating to those who …READ MORE
|
quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
|
