I got this sent to me in an email and it reminded me of the good ol’ days when I would dedicate all my free time to answering email surveys. I’m pretty sure I set some sort of record for answering them, I really loved filling out questions about my favourite type of ice cream or first boy I kissed (you think I’m kidding, but sadly I am not. My ego is so large it adored the attention). Anyway, I got this one sent to me ages ago and thought it would be fun to churn out. Regular blogging shall …READ MORE
I knew a guy once who had the annoying habit of cracking his knuckles before sleep. It drove me INSANE. Nothing is more unsettling than drifting off and being awakened by a large CRACK!, followed by nine more CRACKS! . (Well, of course there are things more unsettling than this but it really does make my top five- sandwiched in between being woken up by someone staring at you and finding out that your ex-boyfriend used to masturbate to your grade 9 graduation photo. Bullet? Dodged.).
So, I did what any girl who loves sleep more than she should- I …READ MORE
I recently had a rattlesnake of a woman kind and helpful lady tell me that ‘women wear lipstick, girls wear lip gloss‘ WHILE I WAS PUTTING ON LIP GLOSS. Needless to say, her views on FLAVORED lip gloss had her making the face people usually reserve for when they find an old dirty diaper in the backseat of their car. Thankfully, I’m so in love with this: I didn’t care what she said. I almost have an orgasm when I put it on my lips. Well, I’m sure a dude would love it if that happened but I’m just …READ MORE
I’ve mentioned before that I swing wildly between complete happiness and utter despair in a single swoop. It’s both a blessing- sad days can often be easily thrown away when I make the choice to be happy and a curse- happy moments mean nothing once sadness invades me. (And for the record ‘sadness invading me’ can occur over something as small as watching a sad car commercial). I am an emotional roller coaster. (That last sentence? Yeeeah. That might be why I’m single. That and the fact that I refuse to date someone who doesn’t love Josh Lyman and indulge …READ MORE
Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t written that book I sometimes talk about. Sometimes I wonder how come I don’t have time to practice juggling or learn how to speak French or find a few minutes to deep condition my hair. Then I realize, I spend my free time doing stuff like this:
That’s right. It’s a flow chart based on “The Hills”. That I created for a friend who acts like he doesn’t want to watch it but who I know SECRETLY DOES. I’m not going to lie, I hate myself a little for knowing so much …READ MORE
I cannot decide which is more disturbing:
1. That despite not watching the season, I found myself transfixed while watching season finale of The Bachelor tonight. And I may have watched the whole second hour while standing on the couch, mouth open, spewing such a hateful and curse riddled tirade that a sailor would have blushed. And wept for his mom. And peed his pants.
2. I just admitted to spending two hours of my life watching THE BACHELOR. TWO HOURS. I could have written an epic haiku in that amount of time. Or upped my calcium intake with a …READ MORE
Despite my love for sparkly prom-like dresses, my willingness to sit through hours of singing and dancing and my **mild appreciation of Wolverine Hugh Jackman, I wasn’t invited to the Oscars this year. AND WORSE YET, I wasn’t even nominated. I have a ridiculous vlog saved somewhere on my computer, I thought just making it would have been enough to secure a nomination, but no. If I would have vlogged about Slumdog Millionaire I would have got nominated. Man. I bet if I would have just looked directly into the camera and said “SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE!” I would have at least …READ MORE
I know. That title is such a hook. You are dying to read this aren’t you? The word ‘meme’ always gets the people flocking.
Let me tell you a little story. There’s that “letter” meme going around (that isn’t the story, stay with me, I promise this tale gets SCINTILLATING), Beth gave Matt the letter “D”. Then, I complained to Matt that I had nothing interesting to blog about (yes, these are the things I say in gchat conversations, doesn’t it make you want to find me so we can talk RIGHT NOW?), so Matt gave ME his letter. Because …READ MORE