August 6th, 2012 in advice, and now you might know everything, confession of the day, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), it's okay- you can skim this one, just do what i say, lists, school, soapbox, the J.O.B., the title says it all, when I go all Dr. Phil on you I’m a teacher.
I spend one thousand, three hundred and twenty three hours a year with kids.
I have taught every grade from two to eight. I don’t have a doctorate and I’ve never written a book but I do feel like when it comes to working with kids, I have some insight. I’m sure there’s a secret teacher handbook sitting on some shelf somewhere that says “DO NOT TELL PEOPLE OUR SECRETS”, but I think there are certain things that parents should know. And would make the world run ten thousand times better.
Secret #1: Of course we have …READ MORE
June 20th, 2012 in anger and I have sat down for tea, confession of the day, here is my heart, it makes sense to me, it's a long one (twss), oh look! i have opinions., seriously, soapbox, sometimes i get violent, the J.O.B., today i am not funny, when i say it anyway When you think you are casually bringing up the idea of “summer vacation” to a teacher, the reality is you are inadvertently being a douche. Because teachers and summer vacation don’t exist in the way you think they do. Non-teachers assume that teachers work from 9-3pm, get paid fairly and spend large parts of their day doing crafts. We wear witch earrings on Halloween, celebrate Christmas with carols and go on field trips to fun locales. We are rewarded for our pursuits with two months of pure rest and relaxation, where we will jet set the world with our easily …READ MORE
March 4th, 2012 in can you tell I've been reading NO FEAR t-shirts?, i complain because I care, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it happened this week, it makes sense to me, life lesson, oh look! i have opinions., right on my sleeve, soapbox, the J.O.B. Say you are sitting in Starbucks and you see a woman with a stroller who is struggling to open the door.
You have a choice. Either return to your issue of Glamour newspaper while using your stealth peripheral vision to see who goes to help the woman or you go and hold the door open for the woman.
Say you decide to help the woman. Your morals, your belief in how to behave in any situation, requires you to act. She will say thank you, you will reply with “Oh, it’s no problem!” but inside you are secretly full of glee at …READ MORE
The week Bridesmaids came out, I trekked to the theatre. I’d heard the hype and eagerly sat in my seat like a giddy dork waiting for the lights to go down so I could revel in 2 hours of pure estrogen created hilarity. Instead of leaving the theatre on a high note, I left with a bad feeling in my stomach. Sort of like when you realize you ran a red light or you see pictures of the Olsen twins leaving their twelvefiftygazillionbajillion dollar apartments wearing something you threw into a dumpster after fourth grade.
Let’s start with all the …READ MORE
June 6th, 2010 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, a possible regret, because "guilt" is a dirty word, confession of the day, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, I want to make Jim Halpert a mix tape, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., let's still be friends?, lists, music, right on my sleeve, soapbox, the Ex files, the one that nobody reads because of the title, when i say it anyway I know exactly when it happened.
My first year of university, I started dating this guy. A music guy. Who actually got watery eyed when he searched through my CD collection and found Now 4. And not only did he find that particular CD extremely and personally offensive, he found dozens more like it. In fact, he didn’t find a single CD to approve of in the mix of boy bands and mainstream pop.
Instead of defending my choices, I meekly listened as he raved about all the new, hip and obscure bands I had never heard of- that were …READ MORE
August 13th, 2009 in advice, Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, Dairy products make the world a better place, hello universe? I love you, i can't believe i have a football tag, i love fragment sentences, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, it makes sense to me, it's almost like a meme, life lesson, lists, man I'm such a girl, no i haven't gotten laid, oh look! i have opinions., other people say it better, self improvement, seriously, soapbox, the less i worry the happier i am, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the title says it all, the world according to me, top 10 (picture by me)
1. Flowers will never fix everything, but they sure as hell can’t hurt. (Unless they are my favourite flower- peonies and then let’s face it, they can fix everything).
2. When you are wrong, admit it. When you are sorry, say it. When you are in love, declare it.
3. Sometimes it just won’t go your way. And in those moments, it’s perfectly acceptable to stay in your pajamas, eat a lot of string cheese and watch Regis and Kelly (and secretly hate Kelly for being utterly perfect so early in the morning. Her arms! …READ MORE
February 18th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, advice, books, Dairy products make the world a better place, holidays, i might be addicted to tags, i should be a P.S.A., i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, lists, midgets and/or peacock feathers dipped in gold, so egan will LOVE this, soapbox Last year, I eased my own your fears and listed off a few things I think I everyone should just feel okay about. I titled the post “I promise” but said the alternate title could be “Things I do, so they should just be generally accepted as good ideas” and/or “This idea was stolen from Glamour magazine, one of the only beauty/fashion magazines I can tolerate because it doesn’t feature $9,000 dog carriers and there are no sex tips that involve donuts/midgets/ peacock feathers dipped in magical gold dust”. Naturally, I made a tag titled “midgets and/or peacock feathers dipped …READ MORE
October 21st, 2008 in because US health care makes me sad, it's a long one (twss), it's ironic because I'm Canadian, politics, seriously, sigh. i've made a tag for THE HILLS., soapbox, the world according to me, thinking, today i am not funny There are certain days in a persons life when I feel it’s imperative to say what you want- what you NEED to say despite the fact that you know everyone around you may not want to hear it. (My brother calls this “day” EVERYDAY). I call this day, today.
I’m tired of people who email me telling me I’m going to hell based on my political views. I’m tired of the notion that a mere mortal feels they hold the keys to my pass into heaven- and more specifically, feels like I would ever want to hear that they don’t …READ MORE
July 14th, 2008 in AHHHHHHHHHHH!, anger and I have sat down for tea, Bill Schneider wears a lot of funny hats, books, cnn makes my heart beat fast, disappointment, i am slowly going crazy, oh look! i have opinions., politics, seriously, soapbox, thinking, today i am not funny, when i say it anyway I’ve been blogging a lot lately and was going to spend today eating popsicles and writing tweets declaring my love for the book “Then we Came to the End” by Joshua Ferris (in a word- genius), but I’m feeling ranty so you get another post. Hurrah!
This:
pisses me off. A lot. If you haven’t been following along, this is the new cover of The New Yorker magazine. It’s Obama dressed up like a Muslim, Michelle is a terrorist, there’s a burning American flag in the fireplace and a picture of Bin Laden looks on as the mighty couple …READ MORE
Dear Facebook,
I write to you today with a heavy heart. We used to be so close! Remember that time you introduced me to Scramble and my loved ones had to send out a search party? What fun! I loved that game. You were witty with all your superlatives (three votes for being caught wearing a bunny costume for no reason? Go me!), and I loved that I could play Scrabulous any time I wanted (even with Beth who continues to destroy me).
You let me stalk all those people I went to highschool with- you know the ones you …READ MORE
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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