1. When I go to Starbucks, I become irrationally worried that I’m going to forget my order. I will spend the entire time stuck in the drive thru saying my order on repeat. But attempting to say it casually as well, so I don’t come off as a *robot. (Because yes, that’s a serious concern I have- people mistaking me for a robot). “Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate, Venti, non-fat, no whip, white hot chocolate. Why yes, it IS cold out today. Oh you like my hair? Thank you! What would I like? Oh that’s easy, Venti, non-fat, …READ MORE
Hello internet! So, it’s the last day of 2009, and I thought I’d lighten the mood.
A few weeks ago, the ‘hot awesome dude’ (aka: H.A.D) decided he wanted to share with the internet things I taught him in 2009. I was overjoyed with this idea. Of cooourse I wanted a list that showcased how life changing and awesome I am. Instead, he decided that he should cull allll the ridiculous things I said in 2009 and make them into a little list for him to re-read and giggle over like a school girl asked to prom. (He’s going to …READ MORE
10 Top Lessons I Learned In 2009 (this list is seriously incomplete but a top “23.5 Lessons I learned in 2009″ just doesn’t have the same ring to it. And if there’s one thing I’m about, it’s the ring).
1. Crying in public, sending out 80,000 resumes and begging will not get you a job. Neither will good intentions, great connections and a resume so sparkling it would make Obama’s look shoddy in comparison. A good job will find you when you least expect it. And everyone who says “the perfect job will find you when you are ready”, …READ MORE
Five Truths That Make Me Question My “Girl” Status
1. I would rather attempt to read German car manuals for the next 10 years rather than spend an evening reading the “Shopaholic” book series.
2. I do not (even after repeated attempts) like yogurt. (I know this one doesn’t make sense but I just assume all girls like yogurt. I can’t explain it. My brain is ridiculous).
3. I have not spent oodles of time planning my imaginary wedding. In fact, the only thing I know for sure is that a) I do want to get married and b) I …READ MORE
I’m a simple girl. I like jeans and flip flops and ponytails. I like chicken and potatoes and saying what you mean and beer. Oh, how I adore beer.
I didn’t grow up a beer lover. In fact, I once avoided beer like it was the guy who’s ten years older than everyone else at the grad party. Then, I met Trout, went to Europe where beer was cheaper than a hooker who’s late paying rent, came back poor and realized that 4 beers could do what took 9 *monkeys lunches to do. Meaning, four beers could provide me with …READ MORE
1. I hug you. Often. And without warning. In fact, the ‘sneak attack’ hug becomes the #1 weapon in my arsenal.
2. I suddenly start liking hot dogs. Especially, hot dogs from 7-11. Or, if I’m going to be frank, I will eat any “meat” product under the heat lamp at 7-11. And I will be the GREATEST THING EVER.
3. Cute guys no longer matter but I will be instantly attracted to anyone who is riding the mechanical bull.
4. I ride the mechanical bull. Twice.
5. I decide that taking those STD posters that you find in the …READ MORE
One of the greatest days of my life happened in the fall of 1996. (No, keep reading, I promise there is no reference to Mondetta and/or Guess clothing in this post.)
I was starting grade ten and found out that the hot, new boy picked the locker right next to mine. Oliver. He was all big smiles and sly glances. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Levi’s that fit perfectly. He’d lean against his locker and do impressions of our biology teacher, tease me for buying Mariah Carey’s latest CD (I still stand by that purchase. DO NOT JUDGE ME), ask …READ MORE
1. If I ever audition for American Idol, I will focus on SONG CHOICE. And you know, not sucking as a singer. And for the record? I despise bikini girl. NOT because she wore a bikini to the first audition, but because she talks like a baby. If Randy wore a bikini, I would not hate him. If he talked like a baby? Yes, there would be hate. Baby talk is grounds for friendship termination. Baby talk. It’s no good. Lesson learned.
2. There are situations where it’s impossible to say the right thing. Where every possible word will be …READ MORE
There’s sort of a big event happening on Tuesday that a lot of people are talking about. I may have even talked about it a few times, might have even casually shared a few views on what I thought. But, I need a day without discussing the topic that shall not be named. Because if I talk about it today, there’s a chance I may turn into someone as crazy as he who shall not be named.
1. I’m getting tired of the lady at Starbucks verbally abusing me. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch- she’s not like, calling me …READ MORE