February 11th, 2013 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, and then i cried, and then i laughed out loud, because "guilt" is a dirty word, famous people make for good gossip, it's ironic because I'm Canadian, karma is going to get you, let's still be friends?, lists, p.s. i love me, right on my sleeve, secrets, something I won't forget, the less i worry the happier i am, this might be why I'm single, when i ask you to do things for me 1. I don’t drink smoothies. I mean, I WANT to drink them. Every person I know raves about them on the daily. But let’s face it. I’m lazy as hell. And smoothies involve peeling and chopping and slicing and giving a fuck. Smoothies are like, french braids or completed crosswords done in pen. You want to show off that you’ve completed it but there’s a level of effort involved that no one wants to talk about. I slice a lemon into my naglene and think I’m channeling Eric Ripert.
2. I skipped the Grammy Awards because I don’t need another …READ MORE
August 19th, 2012 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 98% of me thinks this is funny, and now you might know everything, beauty can get ugly, confession of the day, don't hate me for this, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., let's still be friends?, something I won't forget, this might be why I'm single, what the hell I just wanted a Pippa Middleton moment.
I’ve never had a note worthy ass. There is not a lot of junk in my trunk and I’ve been in awe of a great booty since Destiny’s Child first started singing about them. Magazines told me that with a personal trainer and a solid two hour (DAILY) work out, I could proudly have a rear to rival my favourite Kardashian. But I like free time and I don’t have a personal trainer and let’s get real- I’m a bit lazy. So I had gently told myself that living bootylicious-less in the world …READ MORE
July 14th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 98% of me thinks this is funny, AHHHHHHHHHHH!, Andrea should move back to Canada, Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, confession of the day, harry potter, i know- we all LOVE him, i wrote this just for the picture, it makes sense to me, it's a long one (twss), let's still be friends?, overwhelmed doesn't even begin..., the one that nobody reads because of the title, this might be why I'm single Want to know what I’m doing at midnight tonight? Here’s a clue: Yes. I own a wand. And a robe. And now internet, you know all my secrets. (I feel like I have to confess: working at a childrens theatre for many years gave me access to a lot of cool props. I didn’t buy the robe for myself. The wand, well that’s a different story.)
(Also? I’m FULLY AWARE of how many wand jokes you are all making right now.)
Please tell me I’m not the only person over the age of 10 who is excited …READ MORE
June 19th, 2009 in and now you might know everything, confession of the day, hello universe? I love you, hey it's Friday! let's say something nice, i should be a cheerleader, i wrote this just for the picture, it makes sense to me, Josh Lyman needs his own tag, no i haven't gotten laid, pretty hair makes me happier, so egan will LOVE this, so sappy it hurts, this might be why I'm single, vague is vogue, when i say it anyway, who needs a self help book?, you're skimming this one I’ve mentioned before that I swing wildly between complete happiness and utter despair in a single swoop. It’s both a blessing- sad days can often be easily thrown away when I make the choice to be happy and a curse- happy moments mean nothing once sadness invades me. (And for the record ‘sadness invading me’ can occur over something as small as watching a sad car commercial). I am an emotional roller coaster. (That last sentence? Yeeeah. That might be why I’m single. That and the fact that I refuse to date someone who doesn’t love Josh Lyman and indulge …READ MORE
June 1st, 2009 in brookem is awesome!, confession of the day, famous people make for good gossip, i am slowly going crazy, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., let's not talk about how long this took, let's still be friends?, oh dear, reinforcing stereotypes since 1981, sigh. i've made a tag for THE HILLS., so egan will LOVE this, the title says it all, this might be why I'm single Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t written that book I sometimes talk about. Sometimes I wonder how come I don’t have time to practice juggling or learn how to speak French or find a few minutes to deep condition my hair. Then I realize, I spend my free time doing stuff like this:
That’s right. It’s a flow chart based on “The Hills”. That I created for a friend who acts like he doesn’t want to watch it but who I know SECRETLY DOES. I’m not going to lie, I hate myself a little for knowing so much …READ MORE
May 18th, 2009 in and now you might know everything, because "guilt" is a dirty word, confession of the day, famous people make for good gossip, find the dorkiest sentence in this, i like scotch & table dancing, i should be a P.S.A., i wrote this just for the picture, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's ironic because I'm Canadian, let's still be friends?, lists, music, my passive aggressiveness is devastating, secrets, the secret project, this might be why I'm single (via)
I got a few emails today asking where The Secret Project was. The truth is, submissions have slowed so I’m going to post once a month. I have to say, The Secret Project is such a treat for me to share. There were some secrets that made me cry, ones that made me laugh out loud, ones that broke my heart into eleventy thousand pieces- and there was one secret someone shared that was one that I kept too. And checking my inbox and finding that someone else had gone through something I had? Well, it was …READ MORE
May 5th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, because "guilt" is a dirty word, confession of the day, happiness, hello universe? I love you, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it makes sense to me, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, right on my sleeve, the title says it all, this makes me sound dumber than i am, this might be why I'm single, when i say it anyway, you're skimming this one I’m a simple girl. I like jeans and flip flops and ponytails. I like chicken and potatoes and saying what you mean and beer. Oh, how I adore beer.
I didn’t grow up a beer lover. In fact, I once avoided beer like it was the guy who’s ten years older than everyone else at the grad party. Then, I met Trout, went to Europe where beer was cheaper than a hooker who’s late paying rent, came back poor and realized that 4 beers could do what took 9 *monkeys lunches to do. Meaning, four beers could provide me with …READ MORE
May 1st, 2009 in charm, earning my dork badge, find the dorkiest sentence in this, hey it's Friday! let's say something nice, it's the environment stupid, man I'm such a girl, men, oh look! i have opinions., secrets, so sappy it hurts, the world according to me, things I don't say outloud, this might be why I'm single (via)
I found this while doing the kind of lazy, uninterrupted online perusing you can only do when you have approximately 873 things to do on your to-do list. I was going to tie this into Earth Day and baby polar bears drowning and the fact that Edward Norton is so smoking hot as an ambassador for the planet that he’s probably a leading contributor to global warming. But in the end I thought I would say that I just liked this. Because isn’t it exactly how you feel when you fall?
I’ve always appreciated the fact that …READ MORE
April 22nd, 2009 in and now you might know everything, confession of the day, famous people make for good gossip, here is my heart, it makes sense to me, man I'm such a girl, no i haven't gotten laid, pretty hair makes me happier, right on my sleeve, single girl stories, so sappy it hurts, the last line is my favourite, the one that nobody reads because of the title, things I don't say outloud, this might be why I'm single, Wednesday nights make me frisky It’s taken me 27 years to fully accept this but I’m finally there. I never wanted to be current Meg Ryan (I like the size of my lips just fine), I always had hopes of being Meg Ryan of yesterday. You know, “When Harry Met Sally” Meg Ryan or even better “When You’ve Got Mail” Meg Ryan. When people see her in those movies they throw around words like ‘adorable’ and ‘endearing’ and who doesn’t want to be that? Plus she was the poster girl for how quirky could be sexy. And when you are 5″2, clumsy and don’t own …READ MORE
April 15th, 2009 in adventure, and now you might know everything, Andrea should move back to Canada, confession of the day, genius, i like scotch & table dancing, I'm a lady. I'm a tramp., if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, it makes sense to me, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), man I'm such a girl, right on my sleeve, single girl stories, this might be why I'm single, Wednesday nights make me frisky, what i found when i went looking, when i say it anyway, you're skimming this one I’ve mentioned in the past that before I realized that a person could just randomly write stuff for the internet to read, I was big on mass emailing my every thought to everyone on my email list. This included my manifestos. That’s right. Every summer, I would write a summer manifesto detailing what exactly I wanted to accomplish that summer. And I did it without wearing a potato sack or complaining about capitalism.
I was re-reading one of them and decided it was too ridiculous brilliant to not share. So here (in part) is my Summer 2004 Manifesto. I’m …READ MORE
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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