March 3rd, 2009 in AHHHHHHHHHHH!, confession of the day, famous people make for good gossip, if you're shallow and you know it clap your hands!, karma is going to get you, note on a non-scandal, oh look! i have opinions., so egan will LOVE this, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the title says it all, this might be why I'm single, when i say it anyway I cannot decide which is more disturbing:
1. That despite not watching the season, I found myself transfixed while watching season finale of The Bachelor tonight. And I may have watched the whole second hour while standing on the couch, mouth open, spewing such a hateful and curse riddled tirade that a sailor would have blushed. And wept for his mom. And peed his pants.
2. I just admitted to spending two hours of my life watching THE BACHELOR. TWO HOURS. I could have written an epic haiku in that amount of time. Or upped my calcium intake with a …READ MORE
February 11th, 2009 in and now you might know everything, confession of the day, disappointment, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it's a long one (twss), it's okay- you can skim this one, men, oh dear, right on my sleeve, single girl stories, this makes me sound dumber than i am, this might be why I'm single, Wednesday nights make me frisky, what i found when i went looking One of the greatest days of my life happened in the fall of 1996. (No, keep reading, I promise there is no reference to Mondetta and/or Guess clothing in this post.)
I was starting grade ten and found out that the hot, new boy picked the locker right next to mine. Oliver. He was all big smiles and sly glances. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Levi’s that fit perfectly. He’d lean against his locker and do impressions of our biology teacher, tease me for buying Mariah Carey’s latest CD (I still stand by that purchase. DO NOT JUDGE ME), ask …READ MORE
January 6th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, a possible regret, and now you might know everything, charm, find the dorkiest sentence in this, hello universe? I love you, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., let's still be friends?, man I'm such a girl, movies, so sappy it hurts, the last line is my favourite, this might be why I'm single, youtubing it in I did this to myself.
I’m the first to admit this.
You see, I went on a bit of a bender during the holidays. People warned me that it wasn’t healthy. That I was going to hurt myself. That I was playing with fire.
Yet, I ignored them all. And went to see someone who could help me me get a fix.
I went to Blockbuster.
And spent days watching “The Wedding Date”, “You’ve Got Mail”, “When Harry Met Sally”, ” Must Love Dogs”, “Sleepless in Seattle”, “The Notebook” and “The Bridges of Madison County” (and you know what sort …READ MORE
December 21st, 2008 in books, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's not you it's me, men, oh look! i have opinions., relationships, single girl stories, so egan will LOVE this, the less i worry the happier i am, things I don't say outloud, this might be why I'm single, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, you're skimming this one So like every other human alive, I dig free stuff. I also dig books. So when I got an email a few months ago from this woman offering me a free book if I reviewed it, I said yes. Absolutely. And if you lived closer lady? I would want to buy you dinner for your troubles.
See how thoughtful I am?
Anyway, the day my book arrived- “You lost him at hello“, I did a little happy dance. This is exactly the kind of book I’d never have bought, but would be secretly curious about. (Sidenote: Any authors out there? …READ MORE
Me: I wish I had a crush.
Andy: A crush? Like, what you had in the seventh grade for guys who still wore sweatpants?
Me: Welll… a grownup version of that. Life is just a lot more interesting when you have that one person you feel all, swoony around.
Andy: Why don’t you wish for a guy to feel that way about you? Or better yet, why don’t you wish for a relationship where BOTH of you feel like that?
Me: Are you nuts?! I’m not ready for that kind of commitment. I like my feelings to NOT be reciprocated, …READ MORE
November 24th, 2008 in About the last line? I'm kidding. I promise, confession of the day, i post dated this mofo!, I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, it's not you it's me, question of the day, sigh. i've made a tag for THE HILLS., the sex tag, the title says it all, thinking, this might be why I'm single, when i ask you to do things for me In the last few weeks I’ve had multiple conversations with people all of whom are in ‘friends with benefits’ situations. Which? Always intrigues me, the way Alaskan cruises or tightrope walking intrigues me- I think they appear fun but I don’t think they are for me.
There’s a gene I think I lack. The “I’m cool with exchanging bodily fluids without caring enough to date you” gene. Don’t get me wrong- I’ve done the walk of shame, I’ve made very many bad choices and have enjoyed every single one. But repeatedly going back to the same person, liking them enough …READ MORE
November 11th, 2008 in About the last line? I'm kidding. I promise, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, it's almost like a meme, love or something like it, men, music, single girl stories, tequila consequences, the Ex files, the last line is my favourite, this is what happens when you listen to a sad song, this might be why I'm single, travel, what i found when i went looking I decided today that I should start listening to my ENTIRE itunes library. Not just, the six songs that I listen to on repeat. As I started listening, I realized two things 1) a song can really take you back to a memory you had forgotten and 2) I have too much Will Smith in my music collection. Really, it’s embarrassing. (Almost as embarrassing as the album name “Big Willie Style”. Seriously. Who thought that was a good idea?) Anyway, as I puttered throughout the day, songs came on that took me back to a memory relating to those who …READ MORE
September 8th, 2008 in advice, AGGRESSIVE eye rolling makes me mad, and now you might know everything, anger and I have sat down for tea, friends, i laugh when i say "balls", I'm scared to see the search engine results to this, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), it's almost like a meme, karma is going to get you, lists, men, oh look! i have opinions., relationships, the devils worker bees, the title says it all, the world according to me, this might be why I'm single, when i say it anyway, who's the boss now? There are few mysteries that trouble the world as deeply as those relating to the male species. I imagine the dawn of time cave women scratched out their man problems on dusty cave walls lit only by torches that reflected their fat tears which tasted of salt and heartbreak.
Was that too much? Yeah, I thought so too.
In all honesty, I don’t really cry that often over men. I suspect that my ‘tears for a man’ reservoir was ran dry due to one man who left me crying for so long my cheeks forgot what they were like to …READ MORE
September 4th, 2008 in and now you might know everything, famous people make for good gossip, i am slowly going crazy, i like scotch & table dancing, i love fragment sentences, it makes sense to me, it was a dance dance revolution, Me & the Bard, politics, the title says it all, this is where I grew up, this might be why I'm single, travel, what i found when i went looking I found this in an email account I was cleaning up (because email account cleaning can turn into a whole day project when you are unemployed), and was both delighted and horrified to see how accurately this still was, SIX YEARS after I originally wrote it- except the mono part. I kicked mono’s ass- all while backpacking Europe because I’m part superhero.
Dear Everyone…
So sorry for the mass email, I am just so busy that I can’t write to you each all individually, I am sure you understand. Considering the fact that I have no serious job, no real …READ MORE
A young girl was breaking up with the “looks good on paper” fiancé. They were standing on a dock facing the ocean, watching the waves coming in when she handed him back the ring that had been the promise of their future. She wished that he would do something impulsive, something reckless. She silently prayed he would throw the ring into the ocean, if he could do something like that- an irresponsible and unexpected grand gesture, he would be the one for her. She realized that’s what she needed- proof he was willing to do more than any other man. …READ MORE
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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