My favourite tweets of 2012

I know the best people on the internet. These are my favourite tweets of the entire year. Drumroll please……

On feelings

- “Can’t walk when I’m this angry.”- @HonestToddler

- “You’re just a feeling.”- @PreschoolGems

- “After Cinderella’s carriage turned back into a pumpkin, it was turned into 10,000 pumpkin spice lattes so everyone was fuckin’ thrilled.” – @AngryBFlay

- “I’m learning to drop my fear of being earnest. We’ve been taught to mock earnestness, but it’s truly a lovely thing.”- @schmutzie

” ‘Razbliuto’ is a Russian word to describe that empty feeling you have for someone you once loved, …READ MORE

How To Not Be Bat Shit Crazy

A few months ago, I wrote a post called “How To Not Be A Shitty Person“. People enjoyed it. In fact, I got a lot of thank you emails from people who decided to passively aggressively pass it on to the shitty people in their life. Basically, it was a situation where everyone ended up winning. Because winning feels good, I decided to do a follow up.

How To Not Be Bat Shit Crazy (or “b.s.c.”) Alternatively Titled: How To Be Someone People Don’t Dodge In The Hallway At Work

1. Vampires aren’t real so stop asking your husband to …READ MORE

On Twitter

I was on the phone with a friend recently and mentioned Twitter. My friend (who lives an almost technology free existence) started asking questions. TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

Her: “Soo, explain to me how you decide what is worthy of writing about on twitter?”

Me: “Um.. if it’s a thought in my head.”

Her: ” So it’s just random thoughts?”

Me: “Well you make it sound unimportant!”

Her: “Have you ever talked about your lunch?”

Me: “Irrelevant!”

Her: “So that’s a yes.”

Me: “Twitter changes lives. It finds dogs and people. AND STARTS REVOLUTIONS. JUST LEAVE TWITTER ALONE.”

Her: “You are …READ MORE

*Because someone just emailed me asking if Canada had it’s own leader

* I’m not kidding. People have also emailed me before asking if: – Canada “celebrates Christmas” – If people really lived in igloos – How it felt to live in a country not involved in a war – Who our President is – If I get lonely (presumably because only 10 people live here. And we all wear plaid, drink beer and play hockey. Sigh, this is not true people, only in my dream world does such a country exist).

For those of you who dislike Canada (and sadly my twitter stream has had a few rather, unpleasant declarations- …READ MORE

10 Reasons Why I’m Not A Famous Blogger

You know, you’ve done it too. You find yourself with 10 minutes to spare, click ‘bookmarks’ and scroll down to a famous blogger you have bookmarked. I’m not talking famous in your world blogger, the kind that your particular blogger group, seems to have crowned homecoming king or queen, I’m talking about famous to the ENTIRE world blogger. The kind of blogger who has one name- and everybody knows it. You scroll down to their too hip for more than one syllable name, and click- waiting for that feeling of envy and happiness to rise up inside you, like it …READ MORE

Thank You Dr. Seuss

I’m sitting here in my classroom- one that was so ugly when I first met it, I almost cried. It was a thousand shades of beige with ripped construction paper and borders that didn’t quite meet around bulletin boards. It had dirty walls, smeared windows and it smelled like my grandmother’s basement. It had torn posters haphazardly dangling from the last cold remnants of sticky tack, a small collection of tattered books housed in a dirty plastic bin and 10 lonely desks stood in the center of the room.

I look around now. I have brightly colored material stretched over …READ MORE

Great Big Things

I don’t do maxi dresses (I’m too short) and I’m not really in love with granola (blame the granola binge of ’06), but the way I talk to my class sometimes, I’m sure I’m labeled the ‘hippie teacher’. We talk about feelings and goals and quotes that inspire us. We talk about why we are learning and how we are learning it and what we can do with the knowledge we are gaining. We sometimes talk about how what we learn in school just isn’t for school, it’s for life- that every piece of information we gather is to help …READ MORE

The One Where I Call My Birthday A Cow

Do you ever go to write something and then go read your archives and find a post you already wrote that is pretty much identical to what you were going to write?

And you are both elated (hello link love, let’s just save mamma some typing!) and deflated (I was way funnier two years ago)?

And then you realize you just called yourself ‘mamma’ and you wonder what it says about you when you admit to yourself that you like it?

Me too.

Saturday is the *birthday. TWENTY EIGHT. I’m sure I’m supposed to be feeling all sorts of things …READ MORE

I’m just going to call this one “The one where I post a picture of my crotch”

I’m one of those people who takes photos of meaningless stuff all the time. And then I go and look at my photos and wonder, “why the hell do I have 8 photos of my Captain Crunch cereal box on my camera?”. I blame it on my continuous need to take the perfect photo (and my brain assumes the perfect photo will be of a cereal box- to be fair, a large quantity of beer was inside me during that photo shoot). The downside of this ongoing quest to channel my inner Annie Lebowitz, is that I end up with …READ MORE

Perfection

Roughly a zillion years ago, this lovely (at least I’m 99.9% positive it was you!) posted this meme. And when I say ‘a zillion years’ ago, I’m serious. There’s a good chance I read the meme while wearing a Mondetta sweatshirt (I had ‘Australia”), lock up jeans and a snap bracelet. Anyway, I read it- and like a good blogger I promptly copied and pasted it, thinking it was a meme I would love to do sometimes. Because I adore memes. I also adore Mandy Moore and comic sans font. And no, I’m not joking about ANY OF THAT.

The …READ MORE