August 30th, 2012 in 30something, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it makes sense to me, just do what i say, let's still be friends?, oh look! i have opinions., self improvement, something I won't forget, travel, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, who needs a self help book? I want you to think of the bucket list that you have. Whether it’s triumphantly displayed on your blog, written shyly in your journal or catalogued in the recesses of your brain right after the recipe for spinach dip your mother gave you, I want you to rename that list “Things I Wish To Do Sometime Before I Die”.
Not very powerful is it?
When death is your finish line, you’re running the wrong race.
Considering that you are a perishable item with an expiry date, we could go further and rename your bucket list “Things I Wish To Do …READ MORE
August 6th, 2012 in advice, and now you might know everything, confession of the day, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it seemed like a good idea at the time..., it's a long one (twss), it's okay- you can skim this one, just do what i say, lists, school, soapbox, the J.O.B., the title says it all, when I go all Dr. Phil on you I’m a teacher.
I spend one thousand, three hundred and twenty three hours a year with kids.
I have taught every grade from two to eight. I don’t have a doctorate and I’ve never written a book but I do feel like when it comes to working with kids, I have some insight. I’m sure there’s a secret teacher handbook sitting on some shelf somewhere that says “DO NOT TELL PEOPLE OUR SECRETS”, but I think there are certain things that parents should know. And would make the world run ten thousand times better.
Secret #1: Of course we have …READ MORE
March 27th, 2011 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, 20something, happiness, hello universe? I love you, I like annoying people by talking about how much i like comic sans, i love fragment sentences, i should be a cheerleader, i should be a P.S.A., I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, introspection sometimes causes me to drink, it makes sense to me, it's almost like a meme, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, life lesson, love harder, right on my sleeve, the world according to me, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, you're skimming this one The best part about telling the internet everything about your life is that when you decide to pull a Yoda and drop down some knowledge bombs people can’t be all like ‘what the hell? what does this girl know?” because well, we know that some stuff has gone down.
Not that tragic events or celebratory moments automatically give someone a free stamp in the passport of Life- but I do find that when life kicks you squarely in the ladyparts or the universe gives you an unexpected high-five, a person tends to do a bit more reflection. Sure, it usually …READ MORE
July 15th, 2010 in are you there God? It's me- ripping off Judy Blume, fingers crossed this works, friends, happiness, hello universe? I love you, here is my heart, i should be a cheerleader, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it makes sense to me, just do what i say, lists, love harder, people i like, so sappy it hurts, the title says it all, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, your vote matters here Oh hi blog!
When summer vacation started, my summer plans list looked something like this: 1. get up at 7am everyday 2. learn a new language (preferably something useful like Mandarin) 3. blog a few times a week 4. go for a morning run 5. become a domestic goddess worthy of her own show on TLC. 6. PREPARE FOR HARRY POTTER WORLD!
Summer vacation is half over and so far this is what my list has morphed into: 1. get up before noon-ish (Like that ‘-ish’? I don’t like putting serious limits on myself. My body reacts badly to boundaries) …READ MORE
May 9th, 2010 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, advice, Annie Lebowitz is so jealous, family, i wrote this just for the picture, it makes sense to me, let's still be friends?, life lesson, lists, relationships, self improvement, the J.O.B., tip of the day, top 10, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, when i say it anyway, who needs a self help book?, who's the boss now? Originally done here
1. Life is too short to wait for other people to buy you flowers. Buy your own. (And stop fucking hating on *carnations.) (photo by me)
2. If a student tells you he just ‘had a wet fart’ but after is walking around like a bow legged cowboy, send him down to the bathroom immediately.
3. Don’t trust people who don’t love “Party in the USA”.
4. If the kissing ain’t right, keep the legs tight.
5. Sometimes, the only thing that will be able to cure your sadness is McDonalds french fries. And on those days, …READ MORE
January 12th, 2010 in and now you might know everything, beauty can get ugly, because "guilt" is a dirty word, because US health care makes me sad, boy band mania!, confession of the day, earning my dork badge, H.A.D gets his own tag- that's love, here is my heart, i know- we all LOVE him, i should be a P.S.A., I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it makes sense to me, italics make it appear more thoughtful/interesting, life lesson, lists, people i like, the last line is my favourite, things I don't say outloud, top 10, when I go all Dr. Phil on you I know. I knoooooooooow. We are only 12 days into the new year and already I’m going to bust my enlightened self all on your ass. But you know, I’ve had entire years where the total learning experiences has culminated in learning: 1. The darker the liquor the more likely you are going to want to stab yourself the next morning 2. When your stack of jeans is almost taller of you, it’s time to stop buying 3. Using your student loan to buy jeans will result in you wanting to stab yourself for 5 years after you graduate.
All …READ MORE
December 16th, 2009 in 1/2 funny 1/2 serious 100% important, and now you might know everything, confession of the day, i know- we all LOVE him, i wrote this just for the picture, i'm like barbra walters, i'm the sum of my failures and my achivements, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it makes sense to me, life lesson, lists, love or something like it, question of the day, reinforcing stereotypes since 1981, secrets, self improvement, the J.O.B., the secret project, the title says it all, these are the things that happen to me, this makes me sound dumber than i am, top 10, vague is vogue, what the hell, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, who needs a self help book?, you're skimming this one 10 Top Lessons I Learned In 2009 (this list is seriously incomplete but a top “23.5 Lessons I learned in 2009″ just doesn’t have the same ring to it. And if there’s one thing I’m about, it’s the ring).
1. Crying in public, sending out 80,000 resumes and begging will not get you a job. Neither will good intentions, great connections and a resume so sparkling it would make Obama’s look shoddy in comparison. A good job will find you when you least expect it. And everyone who says “the perfect job will find you when you are ready”, …READ MORE
April 29th, 2009 in confession of the day, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, earning my dork badge, famous people make for good gossip, i complain because I care, I should be sleeping, it makes sense to me, it's almost like a meme, lists, people i like, sigh. i've made a tag for THE HILLS., tequila consequences, the one that nobody reads because of the title, the title says it all, the world according to me, Wednesday nights make me frisky, when I go all Dr. Phil on you, when i say it anyway, you're skimming this one 1. 99.89% of the nicknames that have ever been bestowed upon me.
2. Snow.
3. The Hills.
4. Mondays.
5. Coming home after a vacation.
6. Chick flicks.
7. Mornings.
8. Eating vegetables.
9. Christmas shopping.
10. Tequila.
11. Soul Decision.
12. Mud Puddles.
13. Getting Older.
14. Airplane Food.
15. Dr. Phil.
April 1st, 2009 in advice, books i'm not writing, don't judge me based on my love for bad music, i am slowly going crazy, i know- we all LOVE him, I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it makes sense to me, just do what i say, life lesson, other people say it better, quote of the day, self improvement, the title says it all, the world according to me, things I don't say outloud, wasting time, when I go all Dr. Phil on you Sometimes I think about writing a book. Not a thoughtful novel filled with witty characters with irritatingly unique names like March or Shark or Journey. Not a thin book of essays detailing the true bizarre greatness of my family, an ode to Sedaris genius in less than 200 pages. Not even an easy page turner about single girls who wear expensive shoes and find love only after they’ve publicly humiliated themselves or spent time in a Thai prison. No, I think about writing an instruction manual. For life.
It would start off like this:
Chapter 1: BE KIND This chapter …READ MORE
March 18th, 2009 in 20something, adventure, confession of the day, hello universe? I love you, i should be a P.S.A., I'm yoda. Everyone else is a grasshopper, it makes sense to me, quote of the day, something I won't forget, the less i worry the happier i am, thinking, when I go all Dr. Phil on you
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quote of the moment "Once you start googling 'unlikely animal friendships', life gets better."
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